The most outrageous interactions in the game from a fluff perspective

[Math Mathonwy]

Malifaux games often have some very improbably things happening. This has been a grand tradition since the beginning of the game with, e.g., McMourning butchering his dog for spare parts at the beginning of every game and such.

So what are some of the weirdest things that happen on the table top but won't happen in the backstory any time soon.

This thread was inspired by the concept of "mecha Zoraida" where Sparks makes Zoraida Fast using his Scrap and Metal Plating... Which would make for a somewhat unconventional story.

As a bonus - if your interaction gets featured in a story in the April issue of Chronicles, you officially win the thread

Edited October 2, 2015 by Math Mathonwy

[Dogmantra]

I don't think any of mine are nearly as good as mecha-zoraida, but eh here we go:

Gremlins can focus for starters which is weird.

Lenny has such low willpower, literally can't focus on anything and isn't very smart... which is why he's impossible to distract?

Som'er, The Big Gremlin Boss who commands others by being the biggest with the biggest hat and the loudest voice often spends the first turn running away from his own subordinates' shots, right after some of them were so dedicated to him they drank themselves to death because he wanted more cards.

Piglets are, for some reason, totally loaded up with cursed objects and are amazingly efficient at giving them out to enemies despite having no hands or opposable thumbs. Maybe they went to a seminar?

The old "Papa in the box" trick also qualifies, although thinking about it I suppose death marshals do have that box for anyone who is too dangerous

[Adran]

Luna the master sworddog is probably pretty high on the list

 

[Dogmantra]

Luna the master sworddog is probably pretty high on the list

 

Eh, there's a precedent

Edited October 2, 2015 by Dogmantra

[JoeJones]

My most egregious interaction is the Sabertooth Cerberus Postal Service: messages delivered on time, every time, even though the postman in this case is a horse-sized, three-headed, predatory monstrosity.

"Rrrraaawr! Grrarr!" (Translation: Message for Ms. Ortega! Just sign here.)

Edited for punctuation.

Edited October 2, 2015 by JoeJones

[Adran]

My most egregious interaction is the Sabertooth Cerberus Postal Service: messages delivered on time, every time, even though the postman in this case is a horse-sized, three-headed, predatory monstrosity.

"Rrrraaawr! Grrarr!" (Translation: Message for Ms. Ortega! Just sign here.)

Edited for punctuation.

With 3 heads it gets to say the message that much faster

[Durza]

Hoffman can remove Jack Daws curses from others and turn it into a pile of scrap.

We figured out in a thread a while ago that if you kill a blighted, burning Desolation Engine with a witchling handler near Sonnia and a Rat Catcher, while Killjoy, Bete Noir and something buried from glimpse the void you get:

2 Witchling stalkers

1 Rat

2 Abominations

Killjoy

Bete

Whatever was buried by glimpse the void.

[drafterman]

In a recent game I had "Deliver a Message" and "Assassinate" which I managed to complete in the same turn. I wondered what the "in game" efficacy of a message given to a person whom I promptly killed.

My only conclusion was that the message was: "The Lannisters send their regards."

[huntroll]

McMourning/Kirai and Von Schill (who used to be an undead hunter) from Malifaux 1.5. It's not helping that almost all the competetive Resser lists included Von Schill back then.

[Bengt]

Johan supposedly hates the M&SU but gets bonuses for fighting alongside them and can only heal them and no one else.

Hoffman can remove Jack Daws curses from others and turn it into a pile of scrap.

 

And Hans can shot away those curses.

[Hateful Darkblack]

Hoffman can remove Jack Daws curses from others and turn it into a pile of scrap.

We figured out in a thread a while ago that if you kill a blighted, burning Desolation Engine with a witchling handler near Sonnia and a Rat Catcher, while Killjoy, Bete Noir and something buried from glimpse the void you get:

2 Witchling stalkers

1 Rat

2 Abominations

Killjoy

Bete

Whatever was buried by glimpse the void.

I had something like that happen in actual play! In a Leveticus vs. McCabe game last year, Leveticus melted McCabe with Unmaking, and out came an Abomination, McCabe's Killjoy, and Dismounted McCabe. Three models out of one shot!

Then a nearby Hound killed the Abomination, which left Killjoy to charge one of McCabe's models. It was a tragedy!

[jonahmaul]

The fact that Incorporeal models can apparently float upwards, through people, through buildings etc. but decide to manifest themselves into solid objects when plummeting towards the ground!

[Ludvig]

An austringer sending his raptor with a note delivering an order to a non-sentient beartrap that then does whatever it is you do when you interact has to be pretty high up there... I guess the traps lights the fuse of some explosives it had brought. Or maybe it gets them from the bird already lit? Man this gets more and more probable!

Edited October 2, 2015 by Ludvig

[Math Mathonwy]

A Rotten Belle and Trixiebelle Luring each other is also rather funny.

"Oh yoohoo, come here!"

"Don't mind if I do! Come here you musky fox, you!"

"Aaaaaieeee! An amorous Gremlin! *pant-pant* Oh, yoohoo!"

"Playing hard to get are you?"

[zFiend]

A Rotten Belle and Trixiebelle Luring each other is also rather funny.

"Oh yoohoo, come here!"

"Don't mind if I do! Come here you musky fox, you!"

"Aaaaaieeee! An amorous Gremlin! *pant-pant* Oh, yoohoo!"

"Playing hard to get are you?"

I am dying here. 

One of the funniest was also told to me by Math. Take Sybelle, hit Zoraida for Comply and make Zoraida Obey Sybelle to hit her again.

*Whoppaah*

"Say you want some more!"

"Oooh I want some more!"

*Whoppaah*

[Dirial]

Ahahahaha!

[Durza]

Thats a mental image I could have done without.

[zFiend]

Thats a mental image I could have done without.

Well would it better if Sybelle hit Zoraida and Zoraida went "oh boy that felt so good.." *looks around, no one to be seen* "listen up dead hooked, do that again" *whoppaah* and all the while a silent silurid in the shadows is thinking "I know I'm a freaking frog but even I know that is wrong.."

[Amdor]

McMourning's Abra Cadaver with Plastic Surgery against pretty much any pure construct. McMourning first slaps a piece of meat on a steam arachnid, does his thing and *poof* the arachnid is now a hulking zombie.

[Bengt]

McMourning's Abra Cadaver with Plastic Surgery against pretty much any pure construct. McMourning first slaps a piece of meat on a steam arachnid, does his thing and *poof* the arachnid is now a hulking zombie.

A lot of the time when you summon from scrap or corpse markers it can lead to some pretty weird transformations if you remember what the markers were originally. Also when Ramos summons 3 spiders, kills one, summons 3 more from that, rinse and repeat. Or how Joss can get scrap from anything he kills, like a Void Wretch which doesn't really exist in the first place!

[Dogmantra]

Gremlin Taxidermists clearly have a very wide definition of what they consider a "piglet". A pig? That's definitely a pig! Any corpse at all? That's a pig! A rail golem? Let me stab it with my knife and I can make a pig out of it!

And you'd think "oh maybe it's just a gremlin thing, being a bit wacky with their summoning", but no, Som'er can only command a bayou gremlin to git their bro. No bro for you, mister slop hauler.

While we're on the subject of gremlins... what about the pigapult. It has the gremlin characteristic. So it's got a bit beaten up and the beams are starting to break. How do you fix it? Throw some slop on it! It's in a bad position? No problem, Mah can, as a 0 action, push it as far as its crew can in a whole turn, even while they're being super reckless. And then yell at it to move it even further.

Edited October 3, 2015 by Dogmantra

[ArcticPangolin]

I'd be curious to know more about where inside Death Marshall coffins go to, if it's the realm of Obliteration or what. I remember it being said that they're for capturing prisoners and would feel a little weird putting friendly models in there (except for Papa, he crazy) so never do.

So, I guess Death Marshalls putting Lady Justice, their Department Head, into a coffin for safety and/or transport purposes.

[Tawg]

I'd be curious to know more about where inside Death Marshall coffins go to, if it's the realm of Obliteration or what. I remember it being said that they're for capturing prisoners and would feel a little weird putting friendly models in there (except for Papa, he crazy) so never do.

So, I guess Death Marshalls putting Lady Justice, their Department Head, into a coffin for safety and/or transport purposes.

Well, just because mechanically they both "Bury" doesn't mean it's going to the same place.  It is entirely possibly it's literally just in a coffin (Maybe a magic coffin).

Likewise, Torakage Bury to do their smoke & shadows, and they aren't literally Nightcrawlering across the board (As far as I know), they are just doing.. sheisty ninja tricks.

[ArcticPangolin]

I'd be curious to know more about where inside Death Marshall coffins go to, if it's the realm of Obliteration or what. I remember it being said that they're for capturing prisoners and would feel a little weird putting friendly models in there (except for Papa, he crazy) so never do.

So, I guess Death Marshalls putting Lady Justice, their Department Head, into a coffin for safety and/or transport purposes.

Well, just because mechanically they both "Bury" doesn't mean it's going to the same place.  It is entirely possibly it's literally just in a coffin (Maybe a magic coffin).

Likewise, Torakage Bury to do their smoke & shadows, and they aren't literally Nightcrawlering across the board (As far as I know), they are just doing.. sheisty ninja tricks.

Ah, but models in a Pine Box are free to be molested (for good or ill) by a Tara crew's Void shenanigans, which makes me wonder if it's not connected somehow.

Edit: I realise that Bury mechanics rarely have anything to do with each other and that Tara and her Void Things are the exceptions, actually being able to do stuff with Buried things. But since they can, could there be a link?

Edited October 7, 2015 by ArcticPangolin

[Math Mathonwy]

Ah, but models in a Pine Box are free to be molested (for good or ill) by a Tara crew's Void shenanigans, which makes me wonder if it's not connected somehow.

To be fair, so are high-flying Raptors.