Hungering Derpness Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) Welcome ladies, gentlemen and huge things with teeth, to the Terrible Malifaux Jokes Thread! Here's a few to get you started - feel free to chime in with your own. How can you tell if a Death Marshall isn't feeling well? He keeps coffin at people. Why are sober Gremlins more destructive?Because the drunken wreck-less. What do you call a dead Wendigo?A wendi-gone. Why should you never go golfing with Tara?Because she always gets a hole in one. Edited September 23, 2015 by Hungering Derpness 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogmantra Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 these were all tested on me and I laughed at every single one of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierzasty Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 These physically hurt me. Mission accomplished I guess :v Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Top Hat Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 My cat has pistols - I called it Pur-ditta 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reservoir Dog Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 My cat has pistols too, I called it pur-ditto 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hungering Derpness Posted September 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 What has black blood and either a hand or foot on the end?A nepha-limb. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Where does Hoffman store his guns?Inside the piece-keeper. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordZombie Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Ouch, this thread is painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zFiend Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 So much hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hungering Derpness Posted September 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Seamus has put together an all-zombie cast for a musical about the French Revolution.He's calling it Res Miserables. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zFiend Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I have a real life malifaux joke!Gremlins. Why do we allow you to be a faction! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogmantra Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 How can you tell that Som'er really appreciates you on your birthday?He'll buy you two cards. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phototoxin Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Why did the illuminated, depleted and beckoners hang the guild guard? They were a Lynch-mob 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phinn Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Armor +2, Perfect Camouflage, Unimpeded, being able to place a Soft Cover terrain and having a potential 4" Engagement Range? This all just for the mere 6 Soulstones? That's a Wald-heist!What? WHAT?! It's called Terrible Malifaux Jokes Thread! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hungering Derpness Posted September 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 If you have one Neverborn sniper and add another Neverborn sniper, what do you have?Twoco. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PraetorDragoon Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Why was a van found empty?Candy was in there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phototoxin Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Why is a waterfall like a baby in a barrel?Both casKade 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Caroland Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I have absolutely no talent for making up jokes (or rhymes either for that matter), well done. Painful at times, but well done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hungering Derpness Posted September 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 There was once a crew led by Ma TuckettThat was played by a girl from Nantucket Every swing of her spoonSpelled certain doom'Til finally her opponent said "NOPE!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
96p Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Why did von Schill break into the Mausoleum?because he's with the frei-corpse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Top Hat Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) Why are the frierkorps always cold.They're lead by Von Chill Edited September 25, 2015 by Clockwork Top Hat 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordZombie Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 So a Convicted Gunslinger, a Gremlin, and a Guild Guard are all standing together on a bridge.The Convicted Gunslinger pulls out a bottle of whiskey and takes a drink, then tosses it in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle. "Too much whiskey in Malifaux!" he states.The Gremlin pulls out a jug of moonshine and takes a drink, then tosses it in the air, pulls out his boomstick and shoots the jug. "Too much moonshine in Malifaux!" he states. The Guild Guard pulls out a bottle of Soulstone Ale and takes a long drink, finishing the bottle. He then tosses it in the air, pull out his gun and shoots the gremlin. "Too many Gremlins in Malifaux!" he states. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHammer Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 "Misaki, who is also from Suffolk, how did you get over here so quickly?""Oiran!" 8D I approve of this thread. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phinn Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 "Have you ever played against Teddy?""Yeah, once. Never again.""Was it so bad?""It was literally Nightmare."BA DUM TSS! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PharaonXIII Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 Good sex is like playing Malifaux 2v2. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a damn good hand. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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