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Omenbringer last won the day on July 27

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About Omenbringer

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  1. I can't agree more. Som'er is really the sideshow in his M3e crews (I am including his Titled version as well). And again you all are proving my point about the supposed potency of Som'er. When piloted well, against a neutral or favorable match-up, and with favorable flips he can appear to be really good and yet it requires careful positioning that limits the crew, support bubbles with fairly small radius which again limit maneuverability, and easily disrupted activation order. Perhaps, had I never played 1st edition, the current Som'er might be less disappointing. I loved the lead from behind combined arms style of 1st ed Som'er and the ability to transition between different styles in game. He really didn't need the massive changes he has received edition after edition.
  2. Some of my favorite games were huge losses.
  3. Which major or even minor events was he winning consistently? From the reports I read on here he was not winning much if anything, though I concede that I may have missed them. You do hit on the heart of my argument though. Som'er has been heavily errata'd every edition (often several times in an edition) and yet there are way more potent crews and models that are huge NPE's left untouched. I have said, edition after edition, Som'er tends to look really potent until you figure out that he has an awful lot of foils that can take him down hard and quick. I consider myself a fairly competent Som'er player since way back in 1st edition and despite this, my local metas (and I have played in several around the US) have rarely struggled to counter his potency. He has a lot of bad match ups, particularly in an edition that punishes you for summoning, having large crews, small hand size, low wounds and/or clumping in small bubbles. Som'er suffers from Menoth Syndrome. In other words, when everything lines up and he has all the toys he can appear potent; however, getting everything to line up is difficult, while keeping it from happening isn't. Keep in mind, I am not asking for broken, I am asking for him to function without having to jump through a myriad of often times counter productive hoops to get it to work. I can't think of another crew that has this. Until such time, I will be playing Ulix (both versions) who is way more fun and versatile in play (and likely way more of a NPE than Som'er ever could hope to be).
  4. This is the issue...Som'er doesn't feel like Som'er at all. None of his keyword really functions with his crappy gimmicks. Even hiring out of Keyword doesn't really do anything for him (the only ones that really make any sense are Piglets, Wild Boar, Warpigs, and the Rooster Riders). As has been pointed out already, the gimmicks are really, really dependent on your opponents assistance in gaining any benefit from them. That is aside from "Work Together Would Ya!" ability which is a huge debuff to gain a small buff in return. Perhaps it might be more useful if his keyword had access to Reckless, but it doesn't (Funny that Bayou Gremlins couldn't have it because it was so "borken" but the much, much better Pistolero De Latigo can and they are still considered to suck so much that Perdita 2 has them as a summon with upgrade that makes them better to encourage folks to buy them and play them). It says a lot about Bayou Gremlin's "value" in this edition that they are now a consolation summon for a Friendly Big Hat model removing a scheme marker. Of course you still have to discard a Control Card to pay for it and it will give your opponent a Pass Token. I really can't see a reason to give up so much to summon such a worthless, Insignificant model. I have been playing Som'er since way back in 1st edition, he is now so different (has any other Master experienced this much change edition after edition without really being a consistent top 10 tournament contender in any edition?) that I don't even recognize him and can't bring myself to even play him anymore. Som'er 1 (this edition) sucks and now Som'er 2 makes that version look decent. Hopefully, 4th edition will bring him full circle, would love to see a return of the "Hog Boss" Som'er from 1st edition (and no I am not talking about returning his obviously exploitative infinite bull crap). Win or lose, that Som'er was a blast to run. This is one I will be passing on, at least there is Ulix. Apologies for the negative tone, but when you have played Som'er as long as I have (contributing several 1st edition tacticas for him, none of which revolved around the stupid Infinite loop exploits) and seen errata after errata (most of which I consider unnecessary for a crew that rarely broke top 10 in competitive play) is difficult to get excited about yet another crappy version to play.
  5. Reading the description in the Explorer's Society, the Botanist is most assuredly not the plant. The plant is the weapon of the botanist according to the Explorer's Society entry. The description even mentions why Gremlin's become botanists.
  6. We are about 3 weeks out from Maliweenie, the custom Strategy/ Scheme handouts are printed, the candy has been purchased and the terrain is being collected. We hope to see you all there.
  7. Everyone is invited to join us at the Brunswick Public Library for an extremely casual Wyrd gaming experience Saturday, October 30, 2021. The address is: 3649 Center Rd, Brunswick, OH 44212 in the Sycamore Room Time for the event will be 11:00 am to 4:00 pm. The event is Free and will utilize a special Halloween inspired Scenario for Malifaux designed by our Henchman Organizer. Though the special scenario is designed for Malifaux, other Wyrd games such as The Other Side, Through the Breach, Darkness Comes Rattling, Bayou Bash, Puppet Wars, or Vagrant Song may be available for play or demo. Participants will receive a raffle ticket for each game and unique opponent they play. Participants may procure additional raffle tickets by coming in costume and or having fully painted crews. At the end of the event a Miss Hapen limited edition model will be raffled off to one lucky participant. While food will not be provided, participants may bring food, beverages, and candy as long as you clean up after yourself. We look forward to seeing you at Maliweenie.
  8. Extra, Extra, read all about it! Anti-Guild Pundit Polly Sagequid MD reports Governor General Marlowe’s Symbols of Authority challenged as the Guild Holding Facility in the Necropolis near Plagued Pit in the Warrens region of the Southern Quarantine Zone stated to be closed found to be still in operation. This illegal and inhumane prison is known to house political dissidents critical of Guild polices many on trumped up charges born by false witnesses. The discovery was made by two rival groups apparently working together to close the facility and free their comrades inside. We are told the first group was led by the woefully capricious Pandora and the other by the Ancient Jedza. Both groups worked to Outflank the other with the Neverborn attempting to Catch and Release personnel in a hostage exchange while Jedza’s folk countered with Bait and Switch tactics intended to draw them out. It was evident each group respected the others sphere of influence and seemed to agree to keep things somewhat peaceful so as not to obviate the message and attract a heavy handed Guild response. Using Ancient Words obtained from his Comprehensive Notes, Christopher “Ink Fingers” Tannenbaum was able to dispatch the Carver and Pandora after several rounds of dialogue. Austera and Twiggy were stunned by Sorrow after a Glimpse of the Insanity wrought by the Guild’s draconian laws. Rumors that the protest turned violent are nothing more than Guild propaganda intended to minimize the crimes being perpetrated within the facilities stone walls. Though we are told the young girl Candy did throw a Temper Tantrum fit to kill the Damned after thinking she had destroyed Jedza’s prized bull Sophie, things settled down after Jedza showed her the beast was un-dead. After a few rounds of peaceful protesting, one of Jedza’s Lamplighters experienced Antipathy and walked away, perhaps an Aversion to the misery inside drove their flight from the field. (Standings: TW 6, 1 Salted Territories; WM 6 Territories, 1 Salted) It would be moments later that an overwhelming force of Guild Guardsman reinforced with Riot Breakers and directed by unidentified Elite Division Personnel arrived to dispatch the two groups and secure the site. Given the Guild response it is unlikely either group will be able to muster the resources required to utilize the area for further protests. This is yet another example of Guild authoritarianism and oppression. When will the citizens of Malifaux City demand the closure of this facility and accountability for the criminal acts perpetrated within? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ This is Polly Sagequid MD asking the tough questions to rally the masses. The last bastion of independent journalism in the city, the Malifaux Sentinel reports an unprovoked attack on a small branch of the Guild Library system in the remote town of Cynthus, south of the Northern Hills. The library was established by the Guild Public Relations Department at the behest of the University of Malifaux and the Malifaux Museum of Natural History in an effort to catalogue the rare Flora and Fauna of the region. Its position along the fast moving Frostrun River has often been a boon for the largely academic population; allowing the cultivation of crops and somewhat reliable if not slightly dangerous transportation downriver. Today, however, we are told the river afforded the dread pirate Mary “Black Tongue” Bonnet an easy ingress into the remote village. Traveling up stream in an ancient Karve, a relic of a bygone age, the Black Tongue’s crew was set on pillaging the meagre wealth of the town and Corrupting the Ley Lines said to come to a nexus in the library’s Special Collections Repository. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how one looks at it, one time Visiting Professor of Zoology and Botany at the Malifaux University, Marcus attempted to thwart the raid with all manner of beast and wyld creature. We are unsure exactly why Marcus left his Mountain abode to visit the town but Guild Investigators are aggressively questioning the residents to root out an answer. Eyewitnesses report the two crews clashed after attempting to first Outflank one another before turning to more aggressive measures. Knowing her vessel had limited room, the Black Tongue employed a Catch and Release scheme to overcome Marcus’ plan of Letting them Bleed for a perceived territorial incursion. We are told that despite the presence of several large and rare species from Malifaux’s untamed lands, Marcus was driven back to his mountain home by a huge horde of Mary Bonnet’s crew of Mindless Zombies. (Standings: OH 6 Territories; SK 5 Territories) Though her mottled black and green Karve may have sailed on, residents believe she still lurks nearby, awaiting the absence of Guild security personnel. Who knows if she has completed her task in the Special Collections Repository in the Guild Library: what is known is that the Guild cannot indefinitely garrison guardsman in such a remote place when Malifaux City itself is under siege from so many subversive forces, striking wantonly at the infrastructure of stability and security. A representative from the Guild’s Public Relations Division, speaking on behalf of the Guild Guard, stated that assets from the highly successful Bounty Program will be directed toward apprehending the Black Tongue along with former professor Marcus who is known to harbor both Arcanist and Neverborn sympathies. For those under the Guild’s benevolent authority and protection, be happy you may bask in the beacon of civilization that is Governor general Marlowe’s leadership. This has been the last bastion of independent journalism in the city, the Malifaux Sentinel reporting.
  9. Extra, Extra, read all about it! The free and independent Malifaux Gazette, reports a vicious Neverborn attack deep in the Downtown district of the Little Kingdom. An eyewitness to the event tells us that the brazen attack originated from the Badlands north of Malifaux City and utilized a hidden, underbrush choked corridor in to the city through the Quarantine Zone to reach the Little Kingdoms unobserved. The target appears to have been the President of the Wing Kong Exchange Trading Company, Mr. Yan Lo. Rumored to be a powerful Wu Jen with access to The Darkest Magics, Mr. Lo seemed to be on the back foot after his previous encounter with the Nephilim outside Jerome. Our source tells us that the two sides both attempted to Outflank the other by performing several complex Bait and Switch techniques. The result was Broken Lines amid a growing blood bath in the streets. Accurate fire from the Half Blood Angel Eyes coupled with an aggressive Malisaurus Rex proved too much for the wizened old importer to handle. Or perhaps, as our source intimates, it was the potential script that fresh Malisaurus bones can garner on the black markets in the Three Kingdoms earthside that caused Yan Lo to leave the Downtown are in favor of harvesting the beast. Credence is lent to our sources account by the Unending Fealty of the decrepit Daimyo Toshiro in slaying the creature and gathering its bones at Yan Lo’s request. (Standings: BC 7 Territories, 1 Salted; TF 2 Territories) It would appear the Wing Kong Exchange Trading Company has suffered some rough setbacks in its bid to expand operations around Malifaux while the Neverborn are rallying. In other news, rumors of suspected arsonist and M&SU member Kaeris spread like Wildfire through the Guild’s Confidential Gremlin Informant system; indicating the task force’s booze incentive is appealing to the vermin. First spotted near the Carson “Temperance” Jebsen Center for the Development of the 3 R’s Guild Library in Gremlin’s Wharf, Kaeris stumbled upon an illicit transaction between disgraced Guild Coroner Dr. Douglas McMourning and an abnormally tall gremlin Taxidermist in a Ghille suit whose arms appeared to short for his frame, near one of the areas many Sewers. The facility is an attempt by Guild Officials in the Public Relations Department to “educate, civilize, and pacify” the burgeoning Gremlin population that calls it home. Our informant tells us it appeared McMourning was attempting to Assassinate Kaeris by Breaking Through both her lines and defenses with a pair of mounted escorts, one riding what appeared to be a unicorn and wielding a large Scythe and the other appeared to be a Centaur wielding a Filthy Spear. While undoubtedly the ramblings of a gremlin afflicted by Insectoxcin Poisoning, Zoologists from Duer’s Library are intrigued by the possibility of proving the existence of this ancient mythological cryptid. In response to McMourning’s bold assassination attempt, Kaeris worked to Outflank McMourning’s assemblage of Experiments by Breaking the Line. While the counter to the counter played out, we are told Kaeris was gravely injured during the exchange. Unleashing a swath of flame, she was carried off the battlefield by several Hidden Martyrs whose names elude us. Thankfully, and due in large part to the high humidity the area is known for, the Carson “Temperance” Jebsen Center for the Development of the 3 R’s Guild Library is safe and sound. Though Kaeris was forced out of the area, Guild Officials are concerned by the presence of Dr. McMourning giving his proclivity for poisons. (Standings: DD 7 Territories; JP 6 Territories) Though this reporter would welcome confirmation that Dr. McMourning’s assassination attempt was successful, rumors of the M&SU troubleshooter’s death are most assuredly false as she was spotted some time later by another gremlin informant fortifying some Ancient Ruins near the Bayou’s Edge. We are told by our source that the infamous Relic Hunter Lucas McCabe, no doubt lead to the site by the so-called Tannenbaum map stolen from the Guild’s Department of Antiquities and Relics, presented counterfeit Symbols of Authority over the site. Unsurprisingly, Kaeris also presented fraudulent Symbols of Authority for the site. No honor among thieves I suppose as the unscrupulous forger that created them had to know both parties had designs on the site and that there was a high probability they would eventually meet. But I digress, our little green informant reported that McCabe appeared to have a superior position engaging Kaeris from a concealing thicket while she attempted to Outflank the camouflaged Wastrels. A Breakthrough in the battle was made by an intrepid Rough Rider galloping forward with a Huckster in tow. Thanks to the Huckster spouting False Claims, McCabe was able to Detonate Charges set up by Kaeris to defend the site and chase her out of the area. We are told the explosives did not damage the Ancient Ruins and that McCabe was last observed hastily excavating the site. (Standings: JL 6, 1 Salted Territories; JP 5 Territories) This has been the free and independent Malifaux Gazette, reporting.
  10. We interrupt this aethervox broadcast of the “Temperance” Jebsen Revival Power Hour. Songs of salvation to soothe a weary soul.” to bring you this message from the Malifaux Enquirer, all the news that fit to print without the bias of other newspapers. Violence continues to rock the Badlands south west of the city. Yan Lo, of the Wing Kong Exchange Trading Company, was ambushed by a band of Nephilim led by their supposed queen, Nekima. We are told the usually reclusive Mr. Lo was escorting a particularly valuable load of red copper ore destined for the Three Kingdoms when the Nephilim launched their attack from near the copper camp of Jerome, a growing Pioneer Town and self-described “Wickedest City in the West” (http://azjerome.com/jerome/). It is believed the assault was an attempt to show Symbols of Authority over the area. The belligerents fought fiercely to protect their interests in the area while Claim Jumping the others stake. Nekima seemed set on Spreading Them Out while we are told Yan Lo, viewing the incident as an egregious slight, opted for a more deadly scheme of Letting them Bleed. After the initial shots fired by the Nephilim oddity that is Angel Eyes, Nekima moved forward in a Frenzied Charge to provide a more direct hand in the battle while a Mature Nephilim flew to secure an advantageous position. Her two “hound” escorts, based on descriptions provided by a miner these were a Corrupted Hound and the vile Blood Hunter, were eviscerated by Yan Lo’s Retainers. Never one to shy from a fight the armored behemoth that is Izamu Heroically Intervened to block Nekima from his master. Sadly, the Nephilim’s speed proved too much for Izamu to manage and Nekima was able to disengage from him and slay a Gokudo Reliquary bearer. Following a Treacherous Path, Yan Lo was able to force a Hayreddin from gaining any advantageous position. Unfortunately, this action left Mr. Lo exposed to fire from Angel Eyes, who completed a miraculous shot that we are told almost killed him. An agent of the Wing Kong Exchange Trading Company has told us that this account is greatly exaggerated and that Mr. Lo was suffering from a mild Heat Exhaustion. According to the agent, Yan Lo is recovering at a lovely bath house in the Little Kingdom Downtown area. We wish him a speedy recovery. For the time being though, it appears any interest the Wing Kong had in Jerome has been usurped by the Nephilim. (Standings: CS 5 Territories; TF 3 Territories) Another Turf War occurred near some Ruins in the Canyon Diablo area of the Badlands. One time Guild treasure hunter and professional Wastrel Lucas McCabe was accosted by their Nemesis, Mercenary Viktoria Chambers, during a supposed authorized archeological excavation of the site. Acting at the behest of the Guild Department of Antiquities and Relics, the Chambers sisters Detonated Charges around some of McCabe’s heavy excavation equipment. Though we are told these were small targeted explosions by our source, they did cause both crews to Spread Out during the exchange. As the bullets started flying, an Intrepid Emissary from the Explorer’s Society attempted to show forged papers authorizing the dig to the Viktorias; and for his efforts was summarily executed. Bad luck seemed to plague the Wastrels, leaving a lot of Hidden Martyrs to cover the escape of Mr. Ngaatoro and one of the famed Rough Riders. So far no evidence of McCabe’s rumored death has been provided; however, a map stolen from the Guild Department of Antiquities and Relics was found at the site. The map, drawn by Mr. Christopher “Ink Fingers” Tannenbaum, contained privileged information about planned archeological digs by teams from Duer’s Library. The maps recovery will ensure these precious sites are not exploited by filthy tomb raiders bent on selling their finds to only the privileged few via the black market, but instead explored by qualified, trained, and vetted personnel in the Guild’s employ. Thankfully the Department of Antiquities and Relics is preserving and securing our history for the betterment of our great society and for all posterity. (Standings: MG 6 Territories; JL 5 Territories, 1 Salted) From the report submitted by the Viktorias for compensation by the Department of Antiquities and Relics, it would appear the fight with McCabe garnered the unwelcome attention of the Nephilim known to reside in the region. Stopping for the night in an ancient Necropolis, indicated on Tannenbaum’s map, the Mercenaries were set upon by a Nephilim pack led by Nekima herself. Though the attack was swift, the Viktoria’s crew were able to quickly respond to the onslaught of wings, teeth, and claws. We are told first blood went to a Ronin who slayed a Mature Nephilim in single combat. This is a huge testament to the martial skill of the Viktoria’s and their entourage. Sadly, in retaliation, Miss Deed was slain by Nekima and fed to a Young Nephilim who Relished in the Blood, growing to Mature size as a result. The blood bath would continue with each side trying to Break the Line of the others forces. Though there were a lot of Hidden Martyrs during the scuffle each side attempted to Catch and Release rather than fuel the blood rage that sustained combat often engenders. The conclusion of the Viktoria’s report indicates that despite slaying many of the Nephilim, we are told including Nekima herself, the Mercenaries were had to abandon the area to return Tannenbaum’s map to its rightful home at the Department of Antiquities and Relics. We look forward to the oddities that will likely come from the proper exploitation of these ancient sites by teams from the Duer’s Library Acquisitions and Collections Department. (Standings: CS 6 Territories; MG 5 Territories) This has been the Malifaux Enquirer, with all the news that fit to print without the bias of other newspapers, reporting. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, the “Temperance” Jebsen Revival Power Hour. Songs of salvation to soothe a weary soul.” Already in progress. An obvious Gremlin voices crackles over the aether. “Salvation comes in many forms…Some find it through good works…others through toil and sufferin. Ch’ever path the Lawd lays before you…rested assured…though it is natural to doubt, givin the sly words of the Son of the Mornin…Demon I cast thee out!...The Almighty won’t give you anything you can’t handle… and the lofty rewards of the eternal realm will be yours forever. Our next song comes to us from a lovely English trio ironically called Faithless. Titled Salva Mea, we trust you will find its deeper meaning hidden among the driving bass lines, electronic rhythms and spoken words. Without further ado here is Salva Mea…”
  11. The clear voice for freedom in Malifaux, the Tattler reports the Guild’s new Bounty Program already paying huge dividends. It appears the incentives are so generous that many criminal elements are racing to see who can profit the most from turning in their rivals. Two such examples occurred this weekend when the newly invested Oyabun for the Ten Thunders Crime Syndicate, Misaki Katanaka, attempted to strike at both the gunslinger Tara and the owner of the Star Theatre Colette Du Bois. An eyewitness to the first scuffle provided the following details of a brutal Turf War fought way out in the Bogs near the recently restricted Sunken City Archeological Site. Luring Tara to the Necropolis with rumors of wealth and arcane knowledge, Misaki intended to Out Flank her small group and Assassinate the Herald of Oblivion for the Guild Bounty. We are told 2 Katanaka Snipers and a Torakage were brought to ensure the mission was successful. Luck seemed to be on Misaki’s side, with incredible damage from accurate small arms fire bathing the battlefield in Red. What these Jokers didn’t count on was Tara pushing to Breakthrough the kill zone or having backup that seemed to coalesce From the Void. Determined not to allow her target to escape, Misaki waded through the fetid water to dispatch Tara personally. We are told this was all part of Tara’s gambit to Assassinate the Oyabun and claim her Guild Bounty. During the ensuing exchange, Misaki was able to deliver a Bisento strike that our witness assures us separated Tara’s head from her body. Unfortunately for Misaki, the brash attack left her dangerously exposed and Tara’s lurking Void Hunter avenged its master’s death. Despite the apparent death of both leaders, our witness tells us it was the Ten Thunders that left the battlefield; ceding control of the site to Oblivion. (Standings: LH 6 Territories; MN 4 Territories) If this report is true it would seem that more than just the bothersome Silurids are inhabiting the area this season. This reporter is sure that the Guild is marshalling forces as you read this in order to pacify and secure the area for continued scientific and anthropological exploitation. Though our source assures us they saw Misaki fall during the Sunken City scuffle, a confidential informant for the Guild Guard submitted a report that suggests the Oyabun still lives and was last seen frequenting the Slums near a Large Tavern owned by famed illusionist Colette Du Bois. Details were extremely sparse however, we do know the site is rumored to have Corrupted Ley Lines nearby and that Misaki planned to execute a Vendetta against the Showgirls at the behest of rival “entertainment” establishment owner Youko Hamasaki of the Qi and Gong. This reporter is sure that the Guild Bounty on Colette for violation of section 2937.99 of the Malifaux Revised Code, Failure to Appear at Appointed Hearing, may have contributed to Miskai’s decision to strike while she was inspecting the Ugly Broad Tavern off Denison Ave. Having heard rumors of Misaki’s plan from a drunken Crime Boss attending one of her shows, Colette utilized a Bait and Switch tactic to confound the Oyabun’s efforts and attempt to collect the Guild Bounty on her. Neither belligerent seemed intent on killing or permanently maiming the other, settling instead for a Catch and Release scheme that, while tame compared to the bloodier affair near the Sunken City Archeological Site, never the less sends a clear message to both the proprietor of the Star Theatre and the Ten Thunders allies of the Qi and Gong. According to the informants report, the Ten Thunders were observed hurriedly returning to the Katanaka Trading House in the Little Kingdom district of Malifaux City. (Standings: ED 6 Territories, 1 Salted; MN 3 Territories) While the Katanaka’s may have failed to expand their criminal enterprise, it would seem that fate was not done with her targets Tara and Colette. An old Prospector named Dante living in the inferno that is the badlands south of Malifaux City informed us that the two fought a fierce battle for control of a seemingly abandoned Warehouse in the Ghost Town once called Rimini. Though this reporter is unsure why the famed Illusionist traveled so far outside of Malifaux City, rumors about the town’s origin may have played a part. Perhaps she was looking for inspiration for an upcoming production. Rumors persist that the long delayed play, “Symbols of Authority” is nearing completion. According to Dante’s recollection, Colette was rummaging thru the warehouse when Tara struck, incredulously appearing From Nothing. Both tried to Breakthrough the others assemblage by Spreading Them Out. Prospector Dante tells us the turning point in the stalemate occurred when Tara interrupted the Coryphee’s Duet by stealing a partner away to Glimpse the Void. Though Dante’s account seems credible, if not slightly embellished, we hope that this last portion is the result of heat stroke and not factual. With the whereabouts of the magnificent clockwork Coryphee unknown, many in the art world are afraid the loss will impact the Corps de ballet during the remaining performances of the season. Where ever the Coryphee is, we wish for her safe and speedy return. (Standings: LH 7 Territories; ED5 Territories, 1 Salted) This has been the Malifaux Tattler, a clear voice for freedom in Malifaux, reporting. Anyone with information that leads to the safe return of the lost Coryphee will receive the gratitude of Miss Du Bois along with a private box seat in the famed Star Theatre for the remainder of the season’s performances. As additional compensation, our friends at the Malifaux Sentinel’s Arts and Leisure Bureau have also offered the 350-foot avant-garde art piece “Homage to Gremlin Butts” produced by interns Boudreaux and Thibodeaux.
  12. Extra, Extra, Read all about it! The last bastion of independent journalism in the city, the Malifaux Sentinel reports a Break in the Line of defenses in the northern sector of the Industrial Zone. Security for the sprawling complex is the responsibility of the M&SU Security Office, who Guild Investigators have reported as negligent and complacent in their duties. Investigators are keenly interested to learn exactly how M&SU security personnel missed the approach of a Malisaurus Rex moments before the attack. One worker at the site who spoke on condition of anonymity, admitted that lately security details have been filled by Rail Workers instead of trained personnel due to budget shortfalls, retention issues, and poor recruiting efforts caused by recent events around the city. Preliminary reports paint a picture of the carnage wrought during the beast’s intrusion. Rail Workers attempted to Bait and Switch the beast while their boss, Mei Feng, moved aggressively forward, making it her Mission to Research the beast’s responses. Regretfully, Mei Feng was brought down before Kang, the so-called Workers Champion, could kill the rare Malisaurus Rex by dumping a scuttle of Hot Coals from the nearby Foundries. Rumors the beast was accompanied by the Neverborn, especially the Autumn Queen Titania and her retinue of Angel Eyes, Killjoy, Tuco and Aeslin are unsubstantiated and highly improbable. No doubt an attempt by the Rail Workers turned security personnel to reduce blame for the event by exaggerating the details. The Jokers went so far as to cover two of their deceased in Red to “prove their story.” If this were true, then where are the Neverborn bodies? Are we supposed to believe they dragged them away? As no mention of drag marks in the preliminary reports was made, where is the evidence of the Hidden Martyrs of the Neverborn? Are we to believe the attack was simply a Neverborn Research Mission of the area? These are doubtful to say the least. However, to alleviate public fear and restore public trust, Guild Authorities have dispatched a cadre of Guild Guard and several members of the Elite Divisions to secure the area until further notice. These extra security measures coupled with extensive repairs to the facilities will likely reduce the production from these two plants for months. (Standings: TH 8 Territories, 1 Salted; BC 6 Territories, 1 Salted) This has been the Malifaux Sentinel, the last bastion of independent journalism in the city, reporting. Stay safe and enjoy the privileges provided by Guild security.
  13. Malifaux Enquirer, with all the news that fit to print without the bias of other newspapers, reports brutal Turf War at Large M&SU local 120 Pipe Fitters Tavern in the Northern New Construction Industrial Zone. An eye witness to the events told this reporter that things got heated after Marcus arrived at the pub with his menagerie of wild and dangerous companions not to mention his animals. It appears Marcus had sworn a Vendetta against Mei Feng and her roughneck Foundry workers, vowing to place them in their Death Beds because of supposed territorial encroachment by the new rail line to Easy Come. Mei Feng claimed it was only a Research Mission that could easily be doctored to make the proposed route to dangerous and expensive to complete as planned. Our source tells us that the final straw, and the point where fists and fur began to fly, was when a small and highly inebriated Gremlin Survivor stoked the furnace of his Mechanized Pork Chop and yelled “We will see who is on their Death Bed.” The sometime companion of Sheriff Basse, Frontiersman Paul Crockett was on the receiving end of a Piston Kick delivered by Mei Feng. While we have no doubt she is a very skilled fighter, it was more than likely Mr. Crockett had something in his eye and was blindsided by the lucky strike. Perhaps it was the soot from the billowing exhaust pipes of the recently awakened Mechanized Pork Chop, who knows. After the Guild Guard arrived to break up the fight, Mr. Crockett was taken to the Malla Malla Teaching Hospital in Malifaux City for treatment of his injuries. As he is a frontiersman with little income a Please Help Me account has been established at the First Bank of Malifaux for those wishing to assist with his medical bills. Our witness also reported the strange fascination a Gremlin Survivor had with the albino horned gorilla Cojo. When ordered to shoot the beast, the tiny Survivor hesitated, lowering his gun before walking away. (Standings: TH 7 Territories; SK 4 Territories) We are told that a few days later, Mei Feng attempted to enter a Warehouse belonging to the Wing Kong Exchange Trading Company in the same Industrial Zone. This was likely a Research Mission for the M&SU to execute a later Vendetta against Yan Lo and Break the Line of his substantial and growing Import/ Export business. Unbeknownst to the rail workers, the President of the Wing Kong Trading Company was present at the facility, conducting his own Research Mission and seeing how well they had Claim Jumped their competition from the M&SU Hedge Fund. The Rail Workers were stunned during the encounter when what they thought was a inanimate suit of ceremonial samurai armor sprang to life and began executing sweeping strikes with its oversized Nagamaki. Despite this, Yan Lo suffered a terrible blow to his burgeoning trading empire when Mei Feng let loose a Breath of Fire which caused a pipe in the Warehouse to burst Venting Steam all over Yan Lo and his associates. Suffering from third degree burns and with limited visibility Mei Feng’s Iron Golem is reported to have finished off the Ancestor and his Retainers. Guild officials are skeptical of this report as they have been unable to access the warehouse due to a host of legal challenges issued by the new ownership. Once the bureaucrats have completed the necessary forms and legal counsel authorizes a search warrant, we are told Sergeant Dashel himself will be investigating the site. (Standings: TH 8 Territories; TF 4 Territories) Analyzing recent events, it would appear the M&SU are a great threat to the peace and tranquility provided by Governor General Marlowe and Guild leadership. This has been Malifaux Enquirer, with all the news that fit to print without the bias of other newspapers, reporting.
  14. Extra, Extra, Read all about it! Vocal Guild critic Polly Sagequid MD reports discovery of a secret Guild Holding Facility located in a Necropolis near the Plagued Pit in the Warrens region of the Southern Quarantine Zone. A squabble between members of the Explorer’s Society led to the discovery. We are told by our sources that while traveling through the area supposedly Corrupting Ley Lines, if such a thing exists, Jedza and her band of Lamp Lighters stumbled into that one-time agent of the Guild’s Department of Antiquities and Relics, Lucas McCabe. Rumor has it the famed Relic Hunter and his band of professional Wastrels were conducting a Research Mission in the hopes of Baiting and Switching a rival intrepid explorer. It is unclear if Jedza was the intended target but evidence suggests the Seeker may have been conducting her own Research Mission in the area and was more than happy to Claim Jump her colleague. Our source tells us that one of Jedza’s Moor Wraiths played a crucial part in her victory by defeating an Intrepid Emissary escorting McCabe. That was despite one of Jedza’s Lamp Lighters falling for a Hucksters Sale Pitch. Perhaps Jedza should illuminate her servants about the dangers of the big city con men. (Standings: TW 6 Territories; JL 5 Territories, 1 Salted) Our investigation into the event was inconclusive as to the veracity of a relic’s presence however, given the Wastrel’s proclivities it is just as likely a ruse designed only to pass the time for the superbly affluent and lazy. McCabe had been observed earlier in the week scouting another Necropolis near the Bayou’s Edge where he ran afoul of the Mistress of Oblivion Tara. Both were searching for a mysterious Corrupted Idol which is claimed to have either miraculous healing powers or be a gateway to another dimension, depending on which Ancient Malifauxian Linguist one consults. While details of the Idol are scarce those of the battle are not. Tactics and brutality were on full display during the tumultuous exchange with victory narrowly achieved by the tomb raider Lucas McCabe. Devising a scheme to Spread Them Out, Tara attempted to counter by Outflanking. Sidir Alchibal proved clutch by dispatching the Midnight Stalker while attempting to Outflank the Wastrels position. The rest of the scrum was a test of wills as each worked to Break the others Lines. Particularly traumatizing for McCabe was the loss of his Rough Rider who was devoured by what was described to this reporter during a tavern interview with lots of alcohol to loosen the witness’ lips, as a “Nothing Beast.” The witness stated with fear plainly evident in his eyes “it was there but it wasn’t, it was solid but it wasn’t. I looked into what I took for its eyes and if I live to be 2001, the things hollow -- it goes on forever -- and --oh my god! __ it's full of stars!" A very haunting account and one this reporter is not soon to forget. (Standings: JL 6 Territories, 1 Salted; LH 5 Territories) Until next time, this has been Polly Sagequid MD reporting.
  15. Extra, Extra, read all about it! Famous underground reporter and vocal Guild critic Polly Sagequid MD, reports a bitter Turf War was fought this weekend between rival Resurrectionists outside the “Forlorn” district of the Southern Quarantine Zone. The scuffle is thought to be for control of a rumored secret Sewer entrance from the Badlands side of the city to the Ruined Observatory. Rumored to hold a vast repository of Necromantic knowledge, the Observatory was destroyed during the event of 1902. An entrance to the unexplored, lower chambers could yield phenomenal power to the intrepid Resurrectionist who can access it. Our source reports the infamous cutthroat Mary “Black Tongue” Bonnet bested Dr. Douglas McMourning, in a close battle that really could have gone either way, securing the Sewer entrance for himself…now only if she had been able to secure the map that goes with it. There were a lot of Hidden Martyrs during the exchange with one of Black Tongue’s Cabin Girl Crooligan’s Catching and then Releasing Dr. McMourning’s adorable Chihuahua. Sadly, the poor little companion animal didn’t make it through the battle which may have been the key moment during the exchange. When asked about the incident after the scuffle, the young cabin girl Dorothea Gould claimed “It was dead when I found it.” Though sources tell us Bonnet’s crew members had red eyes it is unlikely they contracted the deadly “Red Eye” disease that is known to plague the Forlorn area due to both their distance from the zone and also their known proclivity to drink to excess both before, during, and after battles. (Standings: OH 5 Territories; DD 6 Territories) This reporter is forced to ask the uncomfortable questions, why have the main stream media outlets remained silent about this encounter, why have Guild forces not secured the blasted Observatory, and why haven’t medical resources been dispatched to reduce “Red Eye infections in Forlorn? Is it apathy, complacency, or both? Do not all citizens of Malifaux deserve the benefits of the Guilds deep coffers and vast wealth? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Extra, Extra, Read all about it! The Free and Independent Malifaux Gazette reports a nefarious raid on Guild facilities in the Southern New Construction Zone perpetrated by the Pied Piper of filth, the plague vector calling himself Hamelin. Thankfully Sheriff Basse was onsite replenishing his stores and was able to quickly respond to the threat. Though the brave Sheriff tried to Hold Up Their Forces and Deliver a Message to Hamelin that this is Guild Turf, an old injury flared up and forced him to cede the facility. Had Guild Guardsman recently dispatched for a special operation in the Forlorn area of the Quarantine Zone been available to reinforce Basse and his men the outcome may have been different. Hamelin did his best to Hold Up Basse’s Forces in the Guild Holding Facility but the willey old sheriff was able to scoot out a rear entrance thanks to the judicious application of some dynamite. We are left to ask what was the message Hamelin was attempting to deliver with this brazen raid and what is to gain other than an overwhelming martial response from Guild authorities that will see his Plague eliminated from the City? (Standings: ST 6 Territories) In brighter news, the Guild’s new enhanced policing initiative has already begun paying huge dividends. The result of a consortium between Secretary to the Governor-General, the Right Honorable Lucius Gustavius FitzWilliam Mattheson’s Elite Division, Sergeant Dashel Barker’s Guild Guardsmen, and local Mercenary organizations operating under licenses issued by Guild officials, the program affords more boots on the ground at minimal expense to the tax paying residents of Malifaux city. Your safety is the Guild’s top priority, a safe city is a productive city. The mercenary Viktoria sisters discovered a clandestine Arcanist’s Lab while performing a reconnaissance mission of a Necropolis near Pump Station 12 outside of Hollow Point. According to the submitted after action, the site showed signs of recent battle but no Arcanist agents or bodies. Instead, the Viktoria’s discovered a brood of Nephilim working to free several of their vile species from various pens and restrained on examination tables. A brutal Turf War erupted with the Nephilim attempting to Break Through the Viktoria’s cordon of the intelligence rich facility while the veteran mercenaries attempted to Spread Them Out. There were a lot of Hidden Martyrs that bravely sacrificed themselves for the rest of their crews. The presence of a Nephilim Hayreddin is a bit disconcerting and speaks to a greater purpose for the uncharacteristic Nephilim incursion to the Northern area. Unfortunately, the creature was whisked away to safety by a Mature Nephilim before it could be captured for study and interrogation. (Standings: MG 5 Territories; CS 4 Territories) Guild authorities have dispatched an exploitation team from the Elite Division to harvest the site for intelligence and discover why the Arcanists are suddenly interested in Nephilim physiology. This reporter is sure that whatever the interest it is likely unscientific and entirely devoted to developing new weapons to harm Guild facilities, interests, personnel and residents. This has been the Free and Independent Malifaux Gazette reporting. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ We interrupt the “Temperance” Jebsen Revival Power Hour. Songs of salvation to soothe a weary soul.” Aethervox broadcast to bring you this urgent message from the Malifaux Tattler, a clear voice for freedom in Malifaux. Arsonist and well-known M&SU Troubleshooter Anasalea Kaeris has been spotted near the village of Easy Come in the Slate Ridge Mountains. The boom town, founded after discovery of a valuable Tantalum seam in the area, has seen its share of woes increase over the last few months. First, the seam with so much promise was quickly depleted. Then, due to mismanagement by M&SU supervisors who were skimming profits to line their own pockets instead of investing in safety infrastructure, a flood in the area revealed a vast pair of hidden Necropoli that promised a renewal of both wealth and productivity. And now the Neverborn scourge that is Pandora has attempted to Break the Line of their morale by infiltrating the sour little Candy into their midst for a Research Mission. With her distraction the Carver attempted to Catch and Release one of the boom towns residents. Unbeknownst to the residents of Easy Come, Kaeris had come to settle a score with the M&SU Chief of Safety, Mr. Aver Sion. Her notorious fiery temperament would see the gentlemen, along with many of his co-workers placed on their Death Beds. There would be no Catch and Release here. The hazy recollection of a survivor incredulously purports that Candy attempted to fight fire with fire quite literally. While it makes for a great yarn it is unlikely to be true. (Standings: JP 6 Territories; WM 6 Territories) In the wake of her revenge the boom town of Easy Come sustained significant fire damage. For now, the Necropoli are firmly controlled by Kearis. For what purpose, we here at the Tattler are unsure however, rumors abound of a relic of great power. Guild Authorities have dispatched aid teams and a supply convoy to assist with the town’s recovery. After these traumatic events, perhaps the residents of Easy Come will turn away from the ineptitude of M&SU leadership and embrace the beneficence that is Guild Authority. We now return you to the Aethervox broadcast of the “Temperance” Jebsen Revival Power Hour. Songs of salvation to soothe a weary soul.” Already in progress. An obviously gremlin voice crackles over the aether. “Friends, it isn’t often we get to promote one of our kin on the show. Civilized folk just don’t appreciate the sinful depravity and debauchery present in most gremlin songs; however, this is one that is a refreshing change from all that. I present to you Boudreaux and Thibodeaux’s new recording “Rubber Biscuit”. The duo claims to have received inspiration for the song after experiencing the pains of hunger coupled with the hallucinations of an alcohol addled mind. Despite the sinful origin, the song serves as a warning to those who dabble in sin that succor will remain eternally out of reach until one turn away from it and accepts the joys of civilized society. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Extra, Extra, Read all about it! Malifaux Sentinel, the last bastion of independent journalism in the city reports sightings of the Cross Roads 7 around the city. While setting up an impromptu concert outside a recently founded Guild Library in the Town of Edge Point, the Seven were accosted by M&SU agent Anasalea Kaeris. The choice of venue was an obvious attempt by both forces to rebuke that Symbol of Authority that is Guild learning and patronage. For their own part it is believed the 7 hoped to Break Through with residents of the town and Claim Jump the sales of Boudreaux and Thibodeaux’s soon to be released album after the release of its hit single “Rubber Biscuit”. After witnessing Kaeris’ agents emplacing incendiary devices around the building in preparation of Detonating the Charges, a roadie for the band tells us that the Cross Roads 7 attempted to use the power of music to halt the action. Unleashing a fusillade of suppressing fire from a gatling gun hidden under his pipe organ, Envy distracted the Fire Golem so that violinist vixen Lust could use her star power to have it kiss Kaeris. We are told Lust is now recovering from burns received during the battle at Malla Malla Teaching Hospital in Malifaux City. Envy’s aim, or perhaps it was due to the excessive expenditure of ammunition, picked off Kearis’ Eternal Flame and the famous fire dancer Carlos Vasquez. His presence at the Star Theater this season will be missed. Though Kaeris was able to wrest control of the Guild Library, Sergeant Dashel of the Guild Guard assures us that this will be rectified soon and that the facility will be open for business as expeditiously as possible. (Standings: JP 7 Territories; JA 2 Territories) While we here at the Sentinel don’t condone the raucous music the Cross Roads 7 produce, we find their actions in defending the Guild Library admirable and encourage them to apply their talents to the propagation of soulful uplifting music. More Edward Elgar’s uplifting “The Kingdom” and less Nikolia Rimsky’s subversive “Kashchey the Deathless”. Trouble just seems to follow the Cross Roads 7 where ever they go these days. During another impromptu concert, this time outside of a substantial Guild Holding Facility, the band ran afoul of that ancient creature calling itself Jedza. Perhaps it was the loud noise from the band Planting Explosives for its finale or maybe the poor tuning efforts of one of the bands roadies. What ever the case, a fight broke out between the road crew of the Seven and Jedza’s entourage who seemed to be at a crucial point in a Power Ritual. Each sought to Detonate the Charges set up around the stage however, the Seven failed to Assassinate the Ancient. Though the vixen of the violin, Lust, seemed to be successful at imposing her will on the Seekers, encouraging a Lamplighter to Kiss Christopher “Ink Fingers” Tannenbaum, then Mikhail XVI to Kiss Jedza, then Mikhail XVI to Kiss Ink Fingers, then an Austera to Kiss a Lamplighter, and finally Sophie to Kiss Ink Fingers, the orgy of passion did not produce a victory for the band. The Cross roads 7 were forced to vacate the impromptu venue. It is unknown why Guild Guard’s stationed at the Holding Facility did not respond. One particularly unfortunate bit of news for fans of the band is yet another postponement of their current tour of Malifaux due to Envy’s wonderful Pipe Organ being engulfed in “Grave Goo” during the fight. Though we are told it has been sent out for a thorough cleaning it may take a while due to the complexity of the machine. (Standings: TW 5 Territories; JA 1 Territories) Remember folks, you heard it here first. To keep up with all the ramblings from Malifaux’s art world trust the last bastion of independent journalism in the city, trust the Malifaux Sentinel.
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