pixelante Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 "Sister, tell me again why we are wandering the highlands," asked Viktoria. "Because Vikky, Ramos hired us to look after his miners, and someone or something has been playing very nasty games with them." Viktoria replied. Coming upon a break in the trees the two sisters and their crew find themselves in a hollow with a stagnant pond in the middle surrounded by small hillocks. "Ok this is the where the prospector went missing," Viktoria calls out. "Hans, get up on that grassy knoll and you hang with him Vikky. You and you," pointing to the two Ronin. "Go wide and keep your eyes peeled." As Viktoria strides clockwise around the stagnant pond, trailed by her apprentice, a patch of fog appears above the hillock on the other side. "Neverborn!" shouts Hans as he shoots. "Shit! I got it in the head and it dinna die!" "Use your wooden bullets Hans," Vikky tells him. "Good idea girly," Hans replies as he reloads. "Eat hot wood you stichling!" The creature sways, critically wounded as Hans shot blows clean through it spilling a profusion of rotten flesh and bones. "Good shot!" Vikky cheers. "I'm gonna check it out." "Careful Vikky," Viktoria calls out. "Ok sis'," Vikky replies, adopting a defensive stance. From the fog floats a small form fluttering to a halt in front of Vikky. "That wasn't very nice," pouts the boy. "My friends just want to play." Reality shifts and before the two mercenaries can react Coppelius steps forth from the air as the boys nightshirt blurs and stretches to form a four armed monstrosity. "TAG! YOUR IT!" bellows Lord Chompy Bits as he lashes out at Vikky. Vikky screams in panic desperately parrying the blows, but the sheer force of his attack breaks through her defenses gravely wounding her and ripping open a pocket, allowing a deck of cards to spill upon the ground. "Vikky!"Viktoria screams, turning to her apprentice she orders him to help her, but he is too far away to do anything as Coppelius coils his tentacles about Hans. "I've got my eye on you boy," burbles Coppelius as he plucks Hans eye from its socket. "ARRGHHHH! My eye!" Screams Hans."It took my eye!" Hans stumbles backwards in a blind panic tripping and falling down the side of the knoll. "HA! HA! HA!" Lord Chompy Bits laughs, turning to Vikky he leans closer his fetid breath choking her. "what are yeh gonna do now girl?" Clutching her stomach, Vikky glares into his eyes, straightening she brings up her sword to guard. "This," she says quietly as she espies a card upon the ground. "Sister! Its time!" "Wunder twin powers activate!" Vikky chants in unison with her sister in spirit and in a swirl of her coat she vanishes as Viktoria steps forward and with three quick blows eviscerates Lord Chompy Bits. "The jokes on you Chompy Bits," says Viktoria, picking up the Red Joker from the pool of dissolving ichor. "Oh no! Mr.Chompy Bits," cries the boy. "C'mere you brat!" Viktoria growls as she strides towards him. "Noooo! Yoou must nooot toouch the Dreamer," hisses Coppelius as he slides in front of Viktoria. "Out of my way squid face!" Viktoria retorts, chopping him into sashimi with barely a pause for breath. "I don't like you!" shrieks the boy as he tries to make reality shift around Viktoria. Another Nightmare steps forth and slings spells at the Ronin nearby, gambling with its unnatural existence to no avail as the Ronin cuts it down with a barrage of pistol rounds. "WAAAAGH!" cries the boy, as Viktoria grabs him by the scruff of the neck. "I don't wanna play anymore!" Vikoria bends the boy over her knee and with the flat of her blade she spanks him each word punctuated with a strike of her Masamune Nihonto. "Go. Home. To. Your. Mother!" With the last word the boy fades from existence with a faint wail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nny Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 Nice report :bigthumb: I've always known that Viktoria was the spanking type of girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iamwyrd Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 That was very entertaining. Nice report. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixelante Posted June 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 Thanks, I hadn't written for ages, at first everyone was yelling at each other and I had to break out a thesaurus for some different verbs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm's Eye Posted July 1, 2011 Report Share Posted July 1, 2011 That was awsome, very amusing. I very little idea what acctually happened in the battle. And I can not picutre Vikky acctually calling something squidface, calamari sushi maybe, even that is a stretch, she is a hard ass. Which makes the spaking that much more awsome. Thanks for writing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbowsher76 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 I lost it at "Wunder Twin powers, activate!" That was awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schristofersen Posted July 3, 2011 Report Share Posted July 3, 2011 I loved this report, and I have a very good idea of what happened. I would be curious to know what schemes and strategies you had however. I am inspired to try my hand as well. I think the ability to put scraps and brawls into this kind of narrative adds a lot to the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boardgameguy Posted July 3, 2011 Report Share Posted July 3, 2011 Great report, thanks for posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allidor Posted July 10, 2011 Report Share Posted July 10, 2011 Amazing battle report. I think this has made a NBR fan out of me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pixelante Posted July 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) hmmm its been a few weeks now, but I'll try and give a gist of what happened. My strategy was Reconnoiter and Breakthrough. Recon may have been shared and my opponent, Gav, had Bodyguard (Dreamer). We both then opted for extra Soulstones. Gav had only used the Dreamer set once before and he smashed another guy and everyone was pretty scared of the awesome that was Lord Chompy Bits so I knew that I'd either have to avoid him, a rather hard sell with only three foot of space to move about in, or just step up and face the music. Gav hadn't brought any Alps or Daydreams yet and I think he really under utilized the Dreamers abilities. I was spread out so that if worst came to worst I'd still have a chance to win, but the plan was to lure Chompy out, hopefully survive his attacks and counter-attack. I think I may have picked up the Red Joker in my first draw and I held it right up to the moment i used it on Chompy. I don't want to dis Gav, but he does play his crews like a blunt instrument of carnage. Most of the time that works out for him, but that day it didn't, he also had quite a few soulstones he never got to use, sure they are an finite resource most of the time, but when you need something to happen I am of the opinion you use it or lose it. Hoarding your soulstones because you "might" need them later is not a good tactic, especially if you get hit by a powerful attack that makes a mockery of damage prevention. At any rate I've put aside the Viktorias and I am concentrating on understanding Collette. Once he gets some Daydreams and Alps Gav will be able to play the Dreamer to his full potential. Edited July 11, 2011 by pixelante Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalmPlains Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Now THAT is a battle report. Good read, good fun! Cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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