I bought Hamelin because I love the pied piper thing, I always love it when fairy tales crop up in places. I then found out he's one of the most moaned about masters.
I didn't let this put me off and after a few games found one good way of playing him in a friendly environment is to explain what everything does before you start, and declare intentions far in advance. Not being patronising, just informative - this is an open information game after all.
Luckily most of the people I play with enjoy the challenge and do want to play in tourneys and I help them work out what they can do against him with the crews they like to play.
Part of playing Hamelin successfully (as in fun) is to be polite and not be a bad sport. I also don't tend to play 'hard' when I use Hamelin.
As for alternate lists without defeating the point, try taking only one rat catcher and only 2 or 3 rats. Mix in terror tots and or baby kade + candy. The lists still make sense, still play like Hamelin but cause slightly less aggravation.
The trouble I’ve had when using alternate lists is that most of Hamelin’s options are pretty weak.