Jump to content

JAN.NBR: Trying to get a head (McMourning v Pandora)


Recommended Posts

"Why are we here again, master?" Sebastian, McMourning's portly assistant asked of his master, his voice barely carrying over the noise generated by his steam-powered bonesaw. "I don't much like these slums. The shadows themselves move...this is Neverborn territory."

"Nonsense, you dim-witted simpleton. This area is free of Guild patrols, which makes it our territory, not that of those wannabe nightmares. And you know why we're here. I've told you thrice already, and I suspect I'll be telling you again in a few streets. We're here because of a dead man, one Charles Westerfield. His particularly large head is of interest to me. Can't be putting just any old tiny head on such a fine masterpiece as I've got stitched together back in the lab. This one is the only one that will be fit."

"Right, I'd forgotten...but why is he here?" Sebastian questioned, gesturing towards the scarred man walking ahead of the doctor and himself.

"As I said before, he's our guide to the house that houses Mister Westerfield. And as a bonus, he'd make a nice addition to another one of my projects, should something unfortunate happen to..." McMourning's voice trailed off as the gunslinger had stopped moving, and they were catching up to him. He gestured towards the only standing house amidst the surrounding ruins.

McMourning looked the house over, but was quickly distracted by the growing green glow coming from behind the building. Such a bright glow in this part of the city could mean only one thing: that wretched girl Pandora and her box full of dangerous emotionality. Clearly, the obtaining of a fine head was going to be a challenge today. What else could she be here for?

McMourning motioned for Sebastian and the gunslinger to move towards the west side of the house, and moved to the south of the house, Dog nipping at his heels. Off in the distance, he saw a great shape fly through the air, headed directly for him. Also amongst the ruins was a small child, dragging a teddy of his own, and the girl with her box. Certainly, McMourning thought, there is something peculiar about a baby wandering alone through such a rough neighborhood at night, but he gave it little further thought.

The giant shape came crashing around the south-east corner of the peculiar house, revealing its true form. The giant teddy bear roared at McMourning's crew, and pulled darkness around itself. The gunslinger emptied his peacebringers into the bear, but only managed to knock some stuffing out of it.

"Amateur," McMourning thought. "He's just aiming for the easy to hit places. The real trick is to go for the spots that aren't filled with fluff." With that, McMourning flung a scalpel at the bear, following his flashing steel just in time to reach a gloved hand into the creature's gut, pulling out what appeared to be a kidney, covered in black ichor. "Well that one's no good for you, you great brute." McMourning's smile flashed widely as he reached into one of his apron pockets and produced a rotten one. "This'll do you much better, friend." he spat, shoving the foul organ into the place of the previous occupant. The creature bellowed and appeared uneasy on its feet. McMourning, sensing that this game was coming to an end, produced another scalpel and removed the creature's head from its shoulders with a clean cut. "Despite the stuffing in its head, it should work for a field project. After all, rotten stuffing in the head has never served you wrong, Sebastian."

"Yes master," Sebastian nodded as he charged towards whatever was peeking around the northwest corner of the building. He just barely managed to pull his blow as he realized that he was swinging his bonesaw towards a tiny child, complete with a teddy. "Woops, little man. I almost turned you into soup! How unfortunate that would have..." His words were cut short by the child's sudden leap onto his back and the dull pain of the child's knife sliding between his ribs. "That's not right....babies don't stab people..." The gunslinger shook his head at the fool with the bonesaw, and moved in to help him with the demonic rugrat.

Meanwhile, McMourning was hard at work with needle and thread over the body of the fallen bear. As Pandora wandered towards the house, she found herself facing a poor facsimile of Kade's best friend. It had Teddy's face, and his arms, but they were all in the wrong places and at incorrect angles. McMourning smiled as he watched his creation wander towards the girl. He felt a slight tug at his pants leg, he looked down and saw Dog, dragging a humongous decapitated head, just barely starting to rot. "Good boy, Dog! I knew one of my dogs would do be useful to me today. Gentlemen, it is time for us to make our graceful exit. To the Lab!"

McMourning, carrying the enormous head and with Dog nipping at his heels, strode off into the night. Sebastian, having just finished cutting the ferocious baby into small pieces and having held his ground against Pandora, quickly patched his own wounds and went running after his master. The gunslinger's body remained with the house, his mind shattered by the cruel emanations from the box.

15SS Game: Treemonkey vs Charles W.

Resurrectionist Forces:

-McMourning (+2 SS)

-Sebastian (6)

-Zombie Chihuahua (1)

-Convict Gunslinger (6)

Strategy: Treasure Hunt

Schemes: Hold Out, Bodyguard (McMourning) (Both Announced)

VP: 8

Neverborn Forces:



-Baby Kade

Strategy: Reconnoiter

Schemes: Bodyguard(Pandora), Claim Jump (the house) (Both Announced)

VP: 2

A rough game for Charles, as Reconnoiter sucks with only 3 models. He ran Teddy out there, unaware that McMourning ignores Teddy's Hard-to-Woundness, and lost him early on. Pandora managed to kill the convict and the summoned Flesh Construct with her nasty mind-screw powers. Game ended up going 8 turns, with McMourning back in my DZ from turn 5 on, with the treasure. I tried to kill Pandora with Sebastian on the last turn, got a single shot in for 6 damage...so close!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Treemonkey, interesting and entertaining BR despite the low model count. I like the narrative style. Very enjoyable.

Pity about poor ol'Teddy, lucky for McMourning. I had a feeling the Convict Gunslinger should have been wearing a redshirt in the best of StarTrek traditions.

McMourning reminds me of the Batman Joker for some reason.

Looking forward to your next BR.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cool battle report. I liked McMorning's objective.

And you're the first for January.

Treemonkey, interesting and entertaining BR despite the low model count. I like the narrative style. Very enjoyable.

Pity about poor ol'Teddy, lucky for McMourning. I had a feeling the Convict Gunslinger should have been wearing a redshirt in the best of StarTrek traditions.

McMourning reminds me of the Batman Joker for some reason.

Looking forward to your next BR.

Really? Not Seamus?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You made a flesh construct out of the construct teddy? Or is this just story flavor?

Not to be wet blanket but this is the exact reason I do not care for the story type battle report encouraged here.

It makes for a nice read but also makes it impossible to either correct an obvious error made during game play (rules wise) or to offer anything constructive to the loser so that they might adjust their tactics in a future game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the compliments! And yes, I made the mistake of taking corpse counters from Teddy...I did not realize that he's a construct, and my opponent didn't know that constructs don't leave corpse counters. We're still learning the game, but we're having fun!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information