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Super Heroes


Ratty

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Name: Professor Calculatron

Superpower: Intelligence (and unlike all of those plebians you see in the comics who are merely gifted and have powers like Mr Fantastic I mean my intelligence would be high enough to be an actual superpower!)

Battlecry: What is the point? None of you would understand the deeper meaning or subtle undertones in any kind of declaration I make before starting battle. None of you would even realise I were about undertake a statement that would communicate to you just how outclassed you were and stay still long enough for me to assemble the podium anyway.

Secret Weakness: Oh come on. I'm Professor Calculatron. The man who could send Einstein Aristotle and Socrates away in a confused state scratching their heads! In what world would I let anyone know my secret weakness!

Arch Nemesis: None of these would be villains have the merit to be considered on par with me. Frankly, I'm insulted that you think any of them deserve to be mentioned in the same breath!

Sidekick: Calculus boy! I'm very proud of his progress so far, considering the boy is an ignoramus. I may even take him out on patrol sometime, perhaps to mark his 10th doctorate.

(all of this sort of came out while I was trying to make up something for "Collateral Damage Man" and it amused me more so I stuck with it)

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Well, I decided my super powers long ago:

1. THe power of incidental music - to impose a quasi-dramatic, upbeat or comedic soundtrack to events and people around me.

2. The power of montage: To undertake time consuming and arduous tasks in the form of a montage from an 80s movie, probably with a James Brown track - that'll be 8 hours work done in 30 seconds: cut to - me on the phone, cut to - me in a meeting, looking very wise, cut to - me at my desk - cut to end of montage, day over. Easy.

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After my new tool purchase this weekend

CHAINSAW MAN!

Super power: Has a Chainsaw.

Battle cry: It's Chainsaw time

Secret Weakness: Loose extension cord(its an electric Chainsaw)

Creation Story: Mild mannered Nilus had to clear out a bunch of trees in his back yard. After trying to do it with an axe he was tired and defeated. Sitting alone that night he though about how he could strike fear into the hearts of those criminal spikey trees. Then a sales flyer from Ace Hardware flew into his window and he was inspired. He would buy that mechanize cutting tool of destruction that was on sale and bring fear to his enemies

Arch Nemesis: Evil Trees. The kind that have spikey thorns on them that hurt.

Side Kick: Wood stacking Boy. Chainsaw Mans young ward(also Son), who has the power to put all the wood Chainsaw man cuts into his WAGON OF JUSTICE and roll it over to THE WOOD RACK OF SHAME. Where he stacks the wood so it can age,dry out and think about its mistakes while waiting for its invertible execution in the FIRE PIT OF REDEMPTION

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2. The power of montage: To undertake time consuming and arduous tasks in the form of a montage from an 80s movie, probably with a James Brown track - that'll be 8 hours work done in 30 seconds: cut to - me on the phone, cut to - me in a meeting, looking very wise, cut to - me at my desk - cut to end of montage, day over. Easy.

Ah yes, the Power of Montage. I believe that most Super heroes have this ability, that how they all manage to get trained so quickly. At least that's what movies tell me.

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Oh OH OH this is fun!

Superhero name: Antizombie

Superpower: Immunity to occult disease/magic and abnormal durability (zombie like)

Battlecry: Bad day bad day bad day! ( jackie chan adventures)

Secret weakness: Still pretty human, shoot me in the head or dismember me and i pretty much die

Creation story: In a world where the occult has reared its ugly head and zombies and other nasty things are making a buffy like appearance: a lab assistant suffers an accident. While working on a new genomic prototype SNP, the lab was attacked by zombies. In the struggle to survive the hero soon to be known as atizombie was smashed into his genomic experiment and bitten by zombies. While normally a "fatal" occurence antizombie found himself to have retained his humanity, and life despite the gaping wounds found on his body. Having a phobia of the health care system he treated his own wounds and wrapped himself in gauze. While the wounds were slow to heal he eventualy found himself fighting his way out of the zombie infestation that was eventually to be quarantined by the goverment (only a small block) and came to find himself as a fugitive since the goverment thought he was infested or, in fact a new breed of zombie. Antizombie now fights the evil forces of the supernatural with a trusty sword and handgun while on the run from the goverment.

Sidekick: Antizombie has a dog. The dogs name is Dusty and he is a loyal tricolor collie that AZ saved from the original zombie infestation. The dog has become feircly loyal to AZ and would fight to the death if the situation warrented

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  • What would be your name

I am The Eggman, goo goo ke-choo!!

  • Your superpower

Rolling around a lot in a circle due to my unfortunate shape. Sulphuric smell. Thats about it unfortunately....

  • Battlecry

"I laugh in the face of teaspoons and eggcups!"

  • Secret Weekness

A pretty woman. The sound of Laughter. Weak Bladder.

  • Creation story

Who knows? Did I come first? Was I created? Or was it that damn chicken?

  • Arch Nemesis

Saucepan Man from the Faraway tree. All those pans just ideal for boiling. Sick, twisted individual.

  • Sidekick

Meh. I am so mighty I need no sidekick. Though I do work well with Toast.

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Heh, roll on the zombie apocalypse.

"Its ok, I will chop them up with this chainsaw!!.....now wheres the nearest power socket?"

;)

You know this exact conversation happened with my wife.

You'll note that Chainsaw Man fights trees, not Zombies. I would imagine the Tree Apocalypse to have a lot less power outages.

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