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The Master of Red Chapel - Seamus narrative battle reports


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Ok so my next 5 games of Malifaux will be played with my Seamus crew. I will be doing a narrative battle report series of his adventures. The below is the intro and as the games go on I will be adding more stories and battle reports.

Hope you all enjoy the series.


Ever since Seamus saw that pompus upstart of a mortician Nicodem being carried around in that plush red chair, he swore to himself he would get one.

Now he had one!

Sure, it wasn’t as large as Nicodems, and the wood was not mahogany, and he sure as hell didn’t have a bunch of mindless zombies carrying him around like he was the King of Malifaux, but he had his chair. Slowly lowering himself into it as too savor the moment, the smell of dust and decay assailed his nostrils.

‘Tis perfect’ he exclaimed to himself, rubbing his hands over the red velvet that upholstered his new chair. Yes it was ripped and there was traces of flesh and brain left on it. The last owner really didn’t want to give it up, and Seamus had to be a little bit persuasive. However, the extra “decorations” really added to the splendor of the piece he thought to himself.

Standing to his left, flanking him like an oversized bodyguard Madame Sybelle stood motionless. ‘Be a dear Sybelle and fetch the nurse, I wish to have a few words with the pretty lass’. Sybelle nodded and shuffled her obesely rotund frame from the room. I really should do something about her limp Seamus thought to himself as he watched her depart. A belle wearing a blue dress entered the room carrying a pot of hot tea and a chipped cup. ‘Oh wonderful, tea time’ Seamus said. ‘Be a dear and just place it carefully down on this wonderful side table’, he said as he tapped the small table with his hand.

Seamus was enjoying himself immensely. It had been a while since he occupied a house. Suppose that comes with the territory of being the Guilds most wanted he thought to himself. Lost in these dark thoughts and sipping from his cup of tea Seamus was interrupted by the large frame of Sybelle. She was holding a slim nurse by the wrist and by the look of it she had dragged the poor lass all the way from the basement, up the stairs and into his presence.

“Well aren’t you a pretty one” said Seamus with a glint in his eye. “The good doctor does wonderful work, however I prefer my ladies to keep their own features, I find them much more… natural that way”. The nurse struggled under Sybelle’s grip tying to free herself, but was unable to muster enough strength to even trouble Sybelle’s iron grasp.

“Oh deary, please don’t struggle. Sybelle has one of the strongest grips in all of Malifaux, and I am afraid that you just don’t have what it takes to challenge her”. Rising out of his chair Seamus examined the nurses face. Very beautiful he thought as he ran his hands across the flesh mask. However his keen eye could see where the flesh mask was starting to decay around the edges, and it wouldn’t be long until this strumpet required another.

“What is your name dear” Seamus asked.

“Amanda” replied the nurse with a hint of disdain in her voice.

“No, tis incorrect. I don’t like that name dear” Seamus said shaking his head, “It really does not provide the right… shall I say, theatre. For now on you will be called Candi”.

The nurse looked at Seamus with hatred in her eyes. “Oh, I see you don’t like that name my dear. Well I am sure we can come to an agreement” Seamus said.

His eyes glazed over as he forced his Flintlock into her mouth. “You see my dear, you always have a choice, your name is now Candi or I separate your head from your body with this hand cannon”. The nurse slowly nodded her head as Seamus removed the Flintlock from her mouth.

“Candi it is” she said.

“Splendid” said Seamus, clapping his hands together. “Now Candi, I have a proposition for you. The scrap that I had with your master, McMourning. You know the one we last saw fleeing with a massive hole in his guts. Well during that scrap he seems to have hurt my knee, damned scapel that he carries, and I am in need of medical assistance. That my dear is where you come in”.

“I’m listening” said Candi.

“Well if you join my crew, and tend to my needs I will let you live. I’ll even organize a new face for you from time to time. If you decide not too, well then I suppose I have no need for you” Seamus said as he casually played with his Flintlock.

“I suppose the decision is easy then” said Candi. “I’ll join your band of ladies”.

“Great” exclaimed Seamus. Sybelle let go of Candi’s arm with a nod from Seamus. “Welcome to the crew” Seamus said as he embraced her.

“Theres just one more thing poppet” he said as his embrace tightened around her like a vice. “You see, I really cannot trust you, so I suppose I must safeguard myself against any ideas that you may have of treachery”.

Candi felt great pain rip through her body as Seamus ran a knife blade along her skin to expose her spine. Wrapping his gloved hand around her spine he snapped it in one clean twist. Candi let out a blood curdling scream and slumped to the floor as Seamus let her go.

“You see my dear, I must put some of my power into you to make you loyal. You will still be alive, however all thoughts of treason will be washed from your mind, I am sure you understand” Seamus said as a ball of green power left his hands and enveloped Candi as it reknitted her spine.

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Chapter 1 – Justice Unleashed

(I was unable to upload photos of the game. If you wish to view the photos please go to: theultimatewarmaster.com)

Strategy: Reconnoiter

Schemes: Seamus – Cursed Object and Protect Territory (Revealed).

Lady Justice – Line in the sand and Breakthrough (Both Revealed).



Seamus (Mad Haberdasher, Sinister Reputation)

Copycat Killer

Madame Sybelle (All Banged Up, Bleeder Lash)

2 x Rotten Belles

Candi the Nurse



Lady Justice

Scales of Justice


3 x Death Marshals

Guild Austringer

The only person Lady Justice hated more than Doctor McMouring, who she considered to be a conniving miserable excuse for a man, is the mad as a bag of cut snakes Seamus.

Apparently Seamus had “apprehended” one of McMourning’s nurses on a raid of the Guild medical facility, and McMourning himself was badly hurt in the encounter. So Lucious, in all of his pompous grandeur summoned Lady Justice to his office, and advised her she should find Seamus and rescue the nurse. Because, well as he put it… ‘Decent medical staff are in short supply here in Malifaux’.

For 3 days Lady Justice and her crew had been pursuing Seamus, and finally she had him pinned down in the backwater town of Begger’s retreat. It was rumored that this town was erected as a movie set for the B Grade Western film ‘Buckets of Blood’, and the actors liked it so much they had it made into a real town after filming was complete. However that was in the golden years, now it was just a run down, dirty, disease ridden craphole that no one in their right mind would visit. Appropriate really that she would track Seamus to here she thought to herself.

‘Oh my poppet, have you come to play a game with me’ she heard Seamus call. ‘Well at least the Governor sent someone pretty… someone I can use… and will use’ he laughed.

Gritting her teeth at the insult Lady Justice turned towards Lonewolf, her trusted Austringer.

‘Tell me what you see’ she said.

Peering across the clearing to the other buildings Lonewolf could make out the forms that moved between them. ‘My lady, there are two Belles, a large behemoth in a red corset who I believe is Seamus’s personal bodyguard Sybelle. I see some sort of half mechanical, half human construction, I think they call them Necropunks. The nurse is also there with Seamus, and I see what appears to be a small child dressed in a top hat’.

Lady Justice felt confident in the abilities of most of her crew as she gathered them before her. ‘Well this is it. We have finally cornered the filthy Resser, and today is his time to die. Remember why I brought you here, and do not disappoint me’.

Turning to the Guild executioner she added ‘Remember your job and do it well’. In a macabre response to the request the pistons on his execution claws whirled into action and they snapped open and closed. Suddenly he lurched forward and started lumbering across the clearing towards the walking dead. Lady Justice sighed, ‘If only the Judge had been able to come along with us instead of this obese flesh bag, oh well I suppose we have to make do with what we have got’ she whispered to Lonewolf.

Suddenly a dark shape appeared before the executioner. There was a loud crack that sounded like a cannon shot, followed by a cloud of smoke. Large chunks of flesh and sinew explode from the executioner’s torso. The intimidating figure fell to his knees and the grass below him was painted red with his warm gushing blood.

This was her chance thought Lady Justice. Whilst the mad man was distracted by the executioner, she could finish this early and severe his head from his body before he had time to react, and the nurse was also close by. Killing Seamus swiftly would allow the prompt rescue of the nurse before too many of her marshals were injured or even worse, dead.

Sprinting towards Seamus and ignoring all others, Lady Justice suddenly felt something penetrate her soft skin. Raising her hand she swatted away a syringe that was protruding from her neck. Her vision blurred and her legs started to feel heavy, she collapsed to the ground and could only listen as the carnage started to escalate around her.

Turn 1 Overview: Both crews moved into position. The Guild were quite aggressive in their advance and moved as quickly as possible forward to engage the rezzers. Seamus was unable to back alley during this turn, however he was able to make a basic walk and focus a shot with his 50 Flintlock. Aiming at the executioner he inflicted 8 wounds!

Lady Justice ran as fast as possible to close the gap between herself and Seamus now he was in the open and vulnerable. However the nurse, who she was here to rescue, was swayed by Seamus and injected Lady Justice with a large amount of pain killers, which paralyzed her for the next turn.

Victory Points:

Seamus 0

Lady Justice 0

Cackling manically, a small shape, the size of a young boy, who was wearing a top hat and coat with tails stepped out from behind Seamus. It glanced at the felled executioner through small squinty eyes whilst slowly producing a large hand gun from behind its back. Lady Justice could only watch in vain as the figure placed the gun against the executioners head and pulled the trigger. Brain matter and bone was sent flying through the air as the executioners head evaporated into a fine mist. The force of the blast sent the small child thing sprawling onto its back about 10 feet from where it pulled the trigger. Laughing like a mad man, it stood up dusted itself off and disappeared in a swirl of darkness.

Seamus chest swelled with pride for his child. It was learning the craft well, yes maybe the Flintlock was too large for it, and yes it still needed to become a better shot, but all that can be learnt over time.

‘Oh Blimey’ he said out aloud as he felt a bullet hit him in the arm. Ducking his head he glanced around. He had been so caught up in the moment that he had forgotten there were people around that wanted to kill him! Spying a Guild Death Marshal taking shelter behind a building Seamus was caught in a dilemma. Should he execute the prone Lady Justice or kill the Death Marshal who just shot him?

‘What should I do little man?’ he asked the Copycat Killer who just materialized next to him.

‘Well Da, I would really like to see what the insides of that red headed poppet looks like, you know the one lying down over there’ the Copycat Killer said pointing his little finger in the direction of Lady Justice.

‘Well then, I guess that’s what we will do’ said Seamus with an evil glint in his eye. He produced his Flintlock and did not hesitate to pull the trigger. The bullet tore through Lady Justice’s soft flesh like a hot knife through butter. She tried to scream, but the medications that the nurse had injected her with would not allow her to open her mouth.

‘Bugger me she’s still alive and kicken’ Seamus exclaimed in shock. Raising his hand towards Lady Justice, she was enveloped in a green aura of light. Pain racked her body and it felt like her heart would explode. Fighting against the paralysis that had disabled her body, Lady Justice was able to grasp a soul stone in her hand and draw from its core power. The spent stone fell from her grasp but she was able to thwart the agony Seamus was inflicting upon her.

Things were not going well for the rest of Lady Justice’s crew. With their leader down the Death Marshals seemed to lose focus. One was engaged in a struggle to the death with a grotesque little homunculus, the other found itself unable to resist the lure of the Belle in the blue dress as it beckoned him over. He rushed towards her, he must have her, she was quite possibly the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen.

It was only when the Death Marshal was close enough to touch the majestic Belle that he noticed the obese thing standing next to her. Its features were hideous, and the stench was repugnant. It was wearing a corset of red leather that did nothing to tame the flesh folds that were bursting at the seams to get out.

Madame Sybelle grabbed the Death Marshalin one hand and using the other, along with some ungodly power, burnt an image on his arm. It was in the shape of crows wings, and it seeped into his flesh only to disappear. The Death Marshal felt strange, like he had just been cursed.

Turn 2 Overview: The Guild Executioner was slain by the Copycat Killer. Lady Justice was focus shot by Seamus doing 8 wounds and then was inflicted by Live for pain for a further 3 wounds. Lady Justice soul stoned for damage prevention and reduced damage by 2.

One Death Marshal was given a cursed object by Sybelle, and another Death Marshal was given a cursed object by the Necropunk. Both crews scored of Reconnoiter.

Victory Points:

Seamus: 2 (1 Reconnoiter, 1 Cursed Object)

Lady Justice: 1 (1 Reconnoiter)

Feeling her strength return Lady Justice fought to her feet. The demon Seamus was near, yet so was that nurse who had betrayed the Guild and left her at his mercy. Letting her emotions get the better of her Lady Justice unleashed a scream and charged head long into the nurse, hoping to cut the bitch down. Her great sword swung towards the nurse in a glittering arc, and Justice braced for the inevitable impact of steel on flesh and bone so she could twist the blade and inflict as much pain and damage as possible. However, her blade only sliced air as the nurse deftly stepped aside and pushed herself out of harm’s way. Justice infuriated with this turn of event pursued once more to engage the nurse.

The Belle in the Blue dress sensed that Seamus’s new plaything was in danger and proceeded to call Lady Justice over to her. Justice was unable to resist the siren call of the Belle and she walked in a dazed confusion leaving herself in the open. Seamus’s lips curled into a wicked smile. There she was, in the open for all of her men to see her fall.

‘Yoo-hoo sweet thing’ Seamus said to get Justices attention. She snapped out of the Belles trace and turned towards Seamus only to be met by lead shot that ripped through her body in a spray of crimson blood and left her slumped unmoving on the ground. Quite thrilled by this turn of event Seamus walked over to a wooden structure that the residents of Begger’s Retreat called a bridge, placed his foot on the first step and proclaimed ‘I am Seamus, and this bridge is mine!’.

The Death Marshal looked upon Sybelle, promising to himself that his lady did not die in vain. Calling forth the magics of Malifaux, he opened his Pine Box and watched as spiritual hands grasped Sybelle and dragged her into it, the guttural screams that ripped from Sybelles throat were all that could be heard across the conflict zone until the lid slammed shut.

Turn 3 Overview: A lot of damage was inflicted upon the Guild this turn. Lady Justice was slain by Seamus and the Ressers were in a very commanding position to score full points on both of their schemes next turn. The Austringer had been quiet for the last two turns. He was slowly chipping away at the belle in the Yellow dress with focused attacks, however between poor flips and Hard to Wound he was doing very little damage.

Having Sybelle trapped in a pine box was quite frustrating. She was looking to cursed object the death marshal again this turn, as it turned out the Necropunk was able to do it to the Death Marshal he was engaged with. There was a Death Marshal engaged with a Necropunk from turn 2 onwards, it was during this turn that he managed to finally kill the Necropunk and free himself from the engagement.

Victory Points:

Seamus: 4 (2 Reconnoiter, 2 Cursed Object)

Lady Justice: 2 (2 Reconnoiter)

Finally free from the nuisance that was the Necropunk, the Death Marshal placed his mark on the ground. It was a threatening gesture meant to stop the enemy from advancing across it, otherwise the Guilds wrath would be visited upon them. Seamus cackled to himself when he saw this. ‘Tis a fool’ he thought.

‘Tis a bit late to draw your line in the sand fella, as you can see I have already crossed it’ he shouted as he shot at another Death Marshal cowering behind a building. The shot blasted through the buildings frame, splintering the wood that was acting as cover and inflicted a serious wound on the Death Marshal who retreated further into cover lest he be slain. Seamus then swaggered across the planks of wood that were meant to be a bridge.

‘This town is mine and I will drown you all in blood… and honey!’ he added as an afterthought, whilst he winked at Nurse Candi.

The pine box that was holding Sybelle prisoner could no longer contain her massive girth, and her frame smashed free from its confines. Angrily she grabbed the Death marshal in her vice like grip and once again branded him with the Cursed Mark of the Ressers.

Turn 4 Overview: There was not a huge amount of action this turn, Seamus only did minimum damage with his gun to the Death Marshal this turn, however he was able to advance across the bridge and place another scheme marker for protect territory. The Nurse advanced forward to guard the previous scheme marker Seamus had placed.

Sybelle was able to accomplish Cursed Object and the copycat killer basically did nothing. Sh 4 with an 8’ range is really not very good, however when he hits, his damage track is awesome. He is great when he focus shoots, however everything was basically dead or retreating from him when it was his turn to shoot.

Victory Points:

Seamus: 6 (3 Reconnoiter, 3 Cursed Object)

Lady Justice: 3 (3 Reconnoiter)

Seamus surveyed the scene before him. The Guild lapdogs were in full retreat licking their wounds. He glanced back at the prone form of Lady Justice and a wicked smile crossed his face.

Lady Justice was barley breathing, but whilst there was some breath in her body she would never give up. Placing her hands on the ground she steadily started to push herself to her feet.

Seamus stood over Lady Justice and watched her struggle to rise. He trod on her fingers and felt satisfaction as he heard her bones splinter and break under his boot, just grinding them for extra effect. Lady Justice stifled a scream as pain flashed through her body. ‘Oh don’t rise yet poppet… You and I have a long night ahead of us’ he said.

Turn 5 Overview: This turn was really just a mopping up exercise. I managed to restrict the Guild from getting another Reconnoiter point by raising the body of the Executioner as a Belle.

Victory Points:

Seamus: 10 (3 Reconnoiter, 3 Cursed Object, 3 Protect Territory)

Lady Justice: 3 (3 Reconnoiter)

After Game Thought: Seamus's gun is beastly.

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