The debauched adventures of a deranged drunk rabbit called Dwayne. (Part 1)

[Chucklemonkey]

http://www.wyrd-games.net/Display/ColleteA5-Alone.jpg

It may be wrong but I was drawn to the rabbit rather than the scantily clad lady.

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It was to be his moment to shine. He had sat through the entire first half of the show, the audience for that first hour had been enraptured by the music and dancing of the can-can dancers. Not as enraptured as Dwayne was; he loved seeing the shape of their long stocking-ed legs and corseted busts. Even better was the view of their frilly lingerie he had from his position beneath the stage; his eyes had practically popped out of his head the first time he realised what he could see. Yes, the view, together with the bottle of moonshine he had managed to sneak in under the nose of the stupid stage manager Le’ Guen, certainly passed the time, before he, Dwayne, the star of the evening was to emerge. He took another swig of moonshine and raised his long slender ears as high as he could in order to listen for his introduction.

There she was, Collette, beginning to explain to the audience what they were about to witness. Despite his hatred towards her he had to admit, he definitely would!

He could barely hear her tell the audience that the first trick would be the old staple of the rabbit from a top hat, with a slight difference.

Dwayne chuckled at that point, as he did every night, nobody in the audience could possibly guess what that difference would be, that he, Dwayne, a six foot white rabbit and absolute star of the show would emerge on the stage in a puff of smoke wearing that top hat. He laughed again and felt a slight loss of balance as he raised the moonshine to his lips once more.

Through his spy-hole he noticed Collette knock the bottom of the hat twice. That was his cue. He took a last swig from his bottle and took the three steps required to his mark. Tonight though he would not be emerging from the stage platform as planned; tonight he had decided he was going to take this illusion to the next level and emerge to the rear of the audience in a flash of blinding light and smoke. He walked on thinking that his moonshine had definitely hit the spot.

He made it to the rear of the auditorium with mere moments to spare and on hearing Collette’s final shout took one step into the aisle and threw down his smoke bomb.

He heard a gasp from the audience that was the sign he was looking for, and he prepared to emerge into the wave of adulation that would surely greet him. Unfortunately for Dwayne the smoke began to tickle the back of his throat causing him to cough and splutter, it took his mind off the process required to walk with his size 18 feet and he stumbled and fell face first onto the red carpet.

When he regained his feet he looked towards the stage and could tell that Collette was not happy. Her face like thunder as she announced to the audience there would be a ten minute break before the show would resume.

Dwayne hurriedly stepped back out of the auditorium and as he entered the corridor into the backstage area he was met by Collette, close up she looked even more furious than she had done on stage.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” she screamed into one of his large ears.

“Watch your mouth sugar-lips.” He replied, making his way back to the prison cell they called his changing room. She followed him closely as they passed a row of three showgirls. Dwayne, noticing that Lara, who had breasts like a particularly pleasant mountain range was amongst them, took a quick double take.

“Hey baby, ever been with a rabbit? There’s a reason they call us rampant you know.”

Collette grabbed him by the arm and shepherded him through the door into his changing room.

“Have you been drinking again Dwayne?”

“It’s the only way I can look at you without being a little sick in my mouth!” he replied.

“Dwayne, I know you are angry about your situation but the truth is there is nowhere else in Malifaux you’d be accepted. Here people think you are a man in a bunny suit. If you were out there in the real world people would think you were a freak and you would be dead within days, I guarantee it.”

Dwayne stared into her eyes, “dead like my mother?”

“I had no idea what prolonged exposure to soulstones would do to a standard white rabbit.”

“Hey bitch, that’s my mother you’re talking about, there was nothing standard about her.”

“Dwayne, you never even met your mother she died during your birth.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you always trot that one out.” Dwayne took a deep breath before emitting a long sigh. “I need a drink.” Dwayne reached down below his dressing table and opened the mini-bar door. Collette could see him sifting through a number of empty bottles before finding a beer.

He looked quizzically at the bottle “Hmmn, this little piggy must have escaped, I thought I had drunk everything in here. I don’t think it’s even my usual brand”

“I have to get back out there Dwayne, they’ll be waiting for me. Grab yourself a coffee and we’ll talk after the show, ok?”

Dwayne looked past the bottle as she turned and walked out the door. Despite everything she had done to him her rear provided a view that could make a rabbit very happy.

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From his vantage point behind a hanger of stage costumes Le’ Guen saw Collette leave Dwayne’s dressing room. She rested a moment with the back of her head touching the door before locking it from the outside and concealing the key between her breasts.

Le’ Guen, despite all of their sneaking around, knew the secret. That was no actor in that room. It was a monstrosity. Not only that but it was a monstrosity who continually caused trouble in his shows, perhaps worst of all though was the effect the rabbit had on the love of his life. Madame Collette never seemed happy after speaking to him.

Le’ Guen had decided before tonight’s show that it would be the rabbit’s last. After seeing the stunt with the smoke bomb he knew he had made the right decision. All he had to do now was wait for the first part of his plan to take effect and by the morning all of his troubles would be over.

That rabbit’s goose was about to get well and truly cooked.

Edited August 1, 2011 by Chucklemonkey
Keeping things tidy