A World of Truth

[Chucklemonkey]

Hello all.

Given the very high standard of painting on this site, there seems little I can input on that front and with that in mind I decided to write a short story. Decided is probably not sufficient. Waking up in a cold sweat compelled to write about the first meeting of two such gargantuan characters would probably be more apt. :hmmmm:

Given this is the first piece of fiction I will have written since about primary school, comments and criticism will be gratefully received. I have a thick skin.

Hope you enjoy, as I already have ideas for a good few other stories in which the character, which I will at this point simply call the investigator, could and would appear in.

--------------------------------------------------------

A World of Truth

The music had faded, the song ended, and all that could be heard were the sounds of ballgowns traversing the dancefloor.

She loosened her grip from her dancing partner, but knew it would be mere moments before she would have to deter further advances from the enthusiastic young guild officers. They swarmed her as the insects of the swamps swarmed the funny little green creatures. She could hear the hushed whispers in the room as clear as the voice to her left imploring her for one more dance.

She ignored him, and soaked in all of the ill feeling emanating from the rouged debutantes, grotesquely trussed up as if one of Collodi's dolls.

They knew not the object of their hatred.

His eyes had been upon her for some time but she could detect no hatred, lust, or even fascination. She turned scanning the room for the source of her disquiet. Her eyes passed the stage where the 8 piece band were preparing to start the next worthless ditty. Candles flickered in the corner booths where more senior guilders had taken claim of any women socially - or financially - motivated enough to join them. Eventually her gaze fell upon the buffet table with its array of breads, sweetmeats, and guady cakes. She had no time for human food, it did not provide the sticky sweet flavour she craved.

Their eyes met.

He raised his hand in greeting and a wicked smile crept slowly accross her face. This was who had been assigned to investigate the death of her latest victim.

She had been concerned, since allowing her young student the opportunity to breach the officer's residences, that the blood of the pious and arrogant that had spilled that day would result in the probing of the damned Ortegas, or at the very least some high ranking official, but no.

It was clear from his crumpled appearance and lop-sided smile that their victim had not been highly thought off among the judicious heirarchy. She took him to be no more than a lieutenant and with the smile remaining on her face she crossed the floor towards him.

"Good evening ma'am."

"Good evening. I assume you are not here for the festivities, perhaps it is the food that has brought you here?"

"Oh no ma'am, too rich for my digestion. I'm a simple man at heart, at least that's what my wife always tells me. Give me a bowl of chilli and crackers and i'm happy."

"Your wife? Is she here?"

"Oh no ma'am she is looking after her Aunt who seems to have caught this illness that has been spreading recently."

"Well either way, I don't believe we have been formally introduced. I'm.."

"Oh I know who you are ma'am" he interjected.

She knew it to be true, but despite the nervousness of his demeanour she felt that fear formed no part of it. For the first time that evening she wanted to laugh.

"Walk with me lieutenant"

She set off across the room towards the balcony where the stairwell entered the room. He shuffled behind her nervously. Concerned that the rapidly moving couples on the dancefloor would knock or trip him. Despite his fears it seemed that time and movement seemed to obey the will of the beautiful woman beside him and they made it through the high arching glass doors to the balcony with ease.

"So what would you wish to discuss lieutenant?"

"You may have heard of the death of Officer Reynolds ma'am?"

"I am aware of it"

"Well after some investigation we captured a young nephilim. Some of my more persuasive colleagues have stated that he has implicated someone of your description as being the commissioner of the crime."

"Oh come now, look around you lieutenant, how many woman here meet the same description? Or it could of course be that the nephilim is simply trying to implicate anyone but himself in an effort to minimise the pain he will feel when he leaves this world."

"That's certainly a possibility ma'am, in fact that makes perfect sense of course."

He turned and made his way towards the top step. Just as he reached it he turned."

"Just one last thing ma'am, I notice two of your fingernails are broken, can I ask how that happened?"

"Certainly lieutenant" she replied as she raised her left hand for inspection, "coach door caught them on my way here. A very clumsy footman."

"I thought it must be something like that ma'am." He turned again to leave.

"lieutenant" she called after him. He turned to face her once again.

"You say you know me. If that is true, then you must know of the magick and motivations that form this world of ours. Look around you. You see all of these wretches as well as I. Eeking out their existance, seeking to form empires of stones and sins. There should be more - or indeed less - to this world of ours."

"That may be ma'am, but they may keep their empires. That is not the world I seek."

With that he turned and descended the staircase.

She looked over her shoulder at the ballroom and suddenly felt very bored with the evenings frivoloties.

--------------------------------------------------------

So there it is, my first effort.

A bit far fetched I know. I don't imagine Lilith would go anywhere with cracked fingernails.

Hope you enjoyed. If so let me know as I have an idea for a full length story starring the investigator. If not, you had best let me know too, as I would likely post the story and end up cluttering up the place.

Thanks very much if you made it all the way down here.

Edited September 13, 2010 by Chucklemonkey

[IronChief]

Good story. I pictured the investigator as a Columbo sort of man. The hardest part of story writing for me is getting all the background floating around in my head down on the page so the reader know what's going on. I didn't know who or what the lady was until the very end of the story.

Also the payoff seemed a little weak. What was the investigators purpose in seeking her out? Did he achieve it?

To steal from Garrison Keillor, "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

[alemon]

I agree with Ironchief, the ending felt weak.

I did like how I was able to imagine the surroundings; You used just the right amount of description, I think.

[Chucklemonkey]

Thanks guys, I do agree about the ending.

It was really supposed to be the first meeting in a columbo-esqe investigation, kind of putting her on warning but the ending did not feel right and was a struggle.

I do think there will be more from the investigator though. Starting to form a full length story.

Edited September 18, 2010 by Chucklemonkey