whosoever is worthy

[Brewmaster]

It was the kind of hangover that started wars. Were he not used to the noise, Wong might have found the growling staccato of attention-grabbing pain distressing. After a few moments of flopping around like a new born sow, Wong finally got some feeling into his legs and wobbled his way upright. The room around him was a disaster zone of revelry with unconscious bodies strewn across, on top of, and hanging out from every space. Flashes of the previous night sloshed out of the swamp of his memory as Wong managed his way towards the still standing table.
---
"Wong ya ol swillpot, how dem dresses holdin up fer ya?!" Ulix shouted as he slapped Wong on the back, leaning heavily on an exquisitely carved mahogany cane with a boar tusk handle. Wong lightly dabbed at his fu manchu and adjusted himself before replying,
 

"My kimono is just fine. You might say it gives me a leg up on most people." Ulix let out a guffaw as he ushered Wong into the ramshackle barn where several others were already milling.
 

"'Swhat I like about you, you can roll with it! Might as well take a look around, we got a couple more people we're waiting on." Ulix said, shambling to one of the multitude of kegs set up in the room, snagging a mug from one of the smaller gremlins near it. Wong was wary about accepting the invitation since anyone worth their salt knew Ulix was a dirty liar, but he certainly didn't want to look like a weakling by being the only one to not show. A couple of his Bugs kept pace behind him, tugging at their cloaks as they catalogued the room.
 

"Oh loosen up a bit." Wong whispered. "Nobody will pull anything this early in a shindig. Might as well rub some elbows."
---
Wong winced at the roaring wave of the the water he poured from a pitcher into a cleanish looking tin cup. Glancing to one side, Wong saw a small puppet staring at him, a mockery of a Gremlin wearing a porkpie hat rimmed with four leaf clovers. "Good to see the old lady's keeping tabs on us." Wong commented, fishing around in his robes. The puppet held open one side of his coat, pulling out a gnatty bag with a powerful odor. Wong reeled back as he took the bag, emptying the sludge into the cup. "Good ol walleye with parsnips... best remedy I'VE ever seen. Give her my thanks." Wong told the puppet as he took several deep breaths, then forced his way through the brief horror of the remedy.
---
Wong could tell when she walked into the room by the pockets of silent males that travelled the room. The crowd split, and Wong finally saw the Gremlin that had everyone talking: Trixiebelle. She was in her element and loving it, working the crowd like a banjo. And behind her was a woman Wong expected more people would be talking about in the future: Mah Tucket. Mah had been making a name for herself by pulling the most daring raids in recent history. Even the Lacroix had to acknowledge that that spoon was a force of nature. "Well howdy, tall blue and handsome." Trixiebelle offered to Wong as she saddled up to him. "What's new?"
 

"Well this party just got a whole lot prettier for one." Wong bantered back, giving her a chuckle. "How's Trixs?"
 

"Can't complain." Trixie smiled. "Mah's got me sweating so much, I've worn out two of my favorite outfits." Mah strolled up to the two, carrying several mugs in each hand.
 

"Sounds like a lot of whining from someone who just scored us 3 cases of top shelf and enough Scrip ta make a banker cry." Mah exclaimed, slugging back one of the mugs in an expert juggling display. Trixie offered a simple curtsy, causing several of her Gremlin entourage to fall out of their seats. "Seems like a downright proper shindig, Wong." Mah continued, "What's his angle?" Wong shrugged.
 

"With Ulix, the only thing to assume is that it's a stack of Scrip and some fools he expects to part." Wong's ears perked as he saw an odd site: two of the Brewmaster's shinobi entering the party, flanking a young man hunched over with a keg on his back. The hairs on Wong's knuckles always stood up when he saw anyone from the Three Kingdoms; it was primal, instinctual. But the Brewmaster was a unique case: he seemed to come and go as he pleased, not forwarding any agenda that Wong could find. It might very well be that the Three Kingdoms folk simply tolerated him, which helped ease Wong's ire a bit.
---
Wong blinked the brimstone from his eyes as the foul remedy hit his stomach, his stomach roiling out a protest. Wong looked over to see the puppet was gone, and the room was quiet once again. Wong felt for his fu manchu, realized with a chuckle it was roughly plastered to a stuffed squirrel decoration in the corner of the room, and proceeded to make himself look presentable. One of his Bugs had safely tucked himself in a corner and had a deathgrip on Wong's special bag. "No wonder it was quiet this morning." Wong mumbled out loud, wincing at the percussion of his words. With a caring heel to the midsection of the Bug, Wong gingerly took back his bag, the comforting voices rushing back in.
 

You were in danger.
Oh don't be such a doter. We both know no such thing could have happened.
This one is important to the Grand Scheme! The previous events WERE dangerous!
"Welcome to the world. Turns out I can trip on a twig and break my neck." Wong offered, sitting cross-legged to help with the conversation.
Agreed. Though falling for the broken one's goading is something to avoid in the future.
---
"All I's sayin is that ain't nothin special bout some hooch what don't involve time an mistakes." Ulix exclaimed, earning a mixture of agreement and grumbling from the crowd that was coherent enough to listen. "I ain't sayin the Brewmaster ain't special, I's jus sayin gimme 5 years an some patience and I could put up a fight." Of all the Gremlins who laughed, it was the apprentice who drew Ulix's attention. "You think I'm jus sayin some gullyfluff aintcha? Well, this here floor is your podium squirtstain. You elucidate why I'm wrong."
 

The young Gremlin stepped forward, holding a clay cup in one hand, and a small clay jug in the other. "Well, you're not entirely wrong. It is certainly a path that is long and arduous. But you must find the path to begin with, a task none can train for." Mah belted out a laugh.
 

"Ya know, you might have more people backing your plays if you used actual words instead of that camouflaged nonsense." The apprentice simply smiled, and began placing three small clay cups on a stool he moved in front of him. Reaching into the folds of his clothing, the apprentice withdrew a small red clay jug with an almost black stopper.
 

"Perhaps my words do obfuscate a bit. A demonstration then, and a free sample to accent it." The apprentice offered, instantly gaining the attention of all gathered around. The Brewmaster's selection of impressive drinks and the word "free" was a combination any self-respecting Gremlin would kill to be involved in. Mah stepped forward, eyeing the apprentice curiously.
 

"Seems you got the floor, boy." Mah said, motioning for him to continue with her mug hand. The apprentice nodded politely, then poured a small amount of golden amber liquid into each of the three cups.
 

"The Brewmaster expects only the best from his employees, and has gifts to ensure this quality is met." The apprentice began, slightly nudging one of the drinks slightly. "This drink is called 'meifumado', one of the earlier concoctions in his brewing cycle. We'll have a little game. I will whisper a word in each ear of the first three who will partake, and if you are worthy to follow in the footsteps of our path, take the drink and tell me the word the following day." The apprentice looked to the gathered crowd hanging on his words with every breath. The apprentice motioned to Mah. "Would you like to lead by example?" He asked, the crowd turning to Mah in unison. Mah stuck her chin out and slid forward. Gently picking up one of the cups, Mah held it out for the crowd to see, then said,
 

"Time to show you how a real woman drinks", knocking it back with the crowd erupting in drunken agreement. The apprentice stood on his toes, whispering quickly, then slapping away the hand of an overly eager Gremlin who thought he could steal one of the cups. Ulix hobbled forward eagerly.
 

"Might as well do some showin off myself. You're in charge while I'm out Penelope." Ulix said, looking to the hound who had been lazily watching the festivities from her bed in the corner. Ulix looked to Wong. "Join me? Can't do more than kill yah. Course... I can understand if it disagrees with yer... fragile constitution." By this point in the party, Wong was like any other Gremlin and enjoying a healthy buzz. With Ulix's declaration being punctuated by the rolling tide of Gremlin snorts and chuckles, Wong valiantly exclaimed,
 

"Hold my bag and watch me drink this pegleg under the table!" The two knocked back their respective drinks, then got their words from the apprentice, a cacophony of affirmations running through the barn.
---
Wong tried running through the next events of the night, hoping the room would provide clues. The long burnt arcs of floor across the floor and ceiling were probably his fault, along with the marginally crispy passed out Gremlins slumped in awkward poses around the room. Penelope was still sleeping on her bed with what looked like a leg tucked in her front paws. There was a half-standing tower of playing cards in one corner, and a set of gremlins with cards stuck in their foreheads.
Wong turned to see Ulix mumbling back into consciousness. Wong chuckled as Ulix went through a similar motion, finally muttering,
"How long I ride that boar Mah?" Ulix blinked comprehension back into his eyes, seeing Wong staring at him. "You dash-fired muckender. Not bad." Ulix said, giving Wong a nod of approval. "Where's my stick?" Wong motioned.
 

"Its over there by the dead chickens. Probably want to pour some shine over it first." Wong replied. "Looks like Tubba Twig's been near it." Ulix winced either from the sight or from the pale green he was turning.
 

"Oh come ON now! Can't I just have one favorite walking stick without having to burn it in a week?" Ulix exclaimed, crawl-sliding his way across the floor.
 

"You boys want to shut your yaps for a moment? Some of us are trying to have a hangover here." Came Mah's voice from outside against the door. The two turned to see Mah tucking her head around the corner, blinking bloodshot eyes. "An stop talking to yourself when no one's talking back Wong. It's creepy." The three sat in the quiet moment, listening to a rooster crow several houses away. Mah finally broke the silence with, "You guys got anything? I'm drawing a blank." Ulix rolled to a sitting position as he began wiping off his cane.
 

"Might as well have been bird call in fer all I can remember." Ulix chuckled. "Guess them boys have somethin goin fer em." Wong could finally stand on his feet for more than a few moments, and headed towards the door with his bag in tow. "How bout yerself?" Ulix asked. "You're a might quiet there." Wong shook his head.
 

"Best I can say is I woke up before you did, so I call that a win." Wong replied, dodging the mug Ulix threw at him. Wong offered a nod to Mah as he stumbled out into the blazing morning light. "Guess the old guard's still got it, eh?" He asked. Mah nodded with one eye closed and the other squinting.
 

"Aayup. It takes an iron gut and a fistful of clovers to make it out here... You know someone drew some spectacles on your face?"

[Brewmaster]

Yay formatting!