Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Lalochezia

The Kitchen Table Chronicles

Recommended Posts

I plan on playing Malifaux at home about once a week. When I do, it will be a perfect opportunity to do a rather detailed battle report. I will post those reports in this thread. When a new one is posted I will edited this post with a link to the report to make it easier to find within the thread, so check back every so often if you're interested.

The Kitchen Table Chronicles Volume 1: How The Nephilim Stole Christmas...Tore Its Arms Off, And Then Consumed Its Flesh While It Begged For Mercy (Sommer vs. Lilith)

The Kitchen Table Chronicles Volume 2: A Very Gremlin Christmas. (Sommer vs. Marcus)

I may as well link my monthly narrated battle reports here as well:

Novemer NBR

December NBR

Edited by Justin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The kitchen Table Chronicles Volume 1: How the nephilm stole Christmas...tore its arms off, and then consumed its flesh while it begged for mercy.

The story so far:

Sommer Teeth puffed his cigar and looked out over his gingerbread gremlin village with pride. His gremlins were all hard at work making toys for the children of Malifaux. Hideous, malformed toys that gave you the odd feeling Barbie had married her cousin, but they were toys none the less.

In an instant Sommer’s pride was gone as he saw nephilim swooping down on his perfect village. Carried on black wings of hate, the mosters attacked. They plucked gremlins from the snow and dropped them to their deaths. In a moment of horror Sommer saw his favorite war pig, Rudolph, torn open by the deadly claws.

“Protect the penguins!” Sommer cried, “or we’ll have nothin’ ta eat tonight!”

The gremlins fought hard, but slowly the nephilim over took the penguin pen in the center of their village; the nephilim’s sheer hatred for Christmas driving them on.

Many died.

It was not a merry Christmas at all.

The battle report:

We played a 25 soul stone game.

My opponent’s crew: Lilith, 2 mature nephilim, a terror tot, and a soul stone cache of 6.

My crew: Sommer Teeth Jones, 5 bayou gremlins, a hog whisperer, a war pig, and a soul stone cache of 2.

Teeth’s strategy: Reconnoiter

Teeth’s schemes: eye for an eye, and thwart.

Lilith’s strategy: claim jump

Lilith’s schemes: breakthrough, and hold out.

We rolled randomly for our schemes as we have been having more fun with that method, and we both chose to announce all of our schemes.

We chose to play down town as it fit with our terrain, and got a null zone as a random event which was represented with a happy holidays card. (not to be confused with the penguin Christmas card, which was Lilith’s objective for claim jump.)

Our deployment was standard. Lilith set up first.

Set up:

DSC00726.jpg

Yeah, I know you’re looking at my Christmasy houses. Shut up, ok? They were on sale at Michael’s for four dollars. And Christmas nephilim are hilarious.

DSC00727.jpg

Turn 1:

1) One mature nephilim advanced and took cover behind a building.

2) The hog whisperer moved up and brought the war pig with him with sooey.

3) The other mature nephilim advanced and took cover behind a building.

4) A gremlin advanced.

5) The terror tot sprinted forward, ending near one of the mature nephilim, directly across from the main gremlin force.

6) A gremlin advanced.

7) Lilith advanced, joining the terror tot and mature nephilim before casting illusionary forest directly in front of her

8) Sommer Teeth attempted get yer bro, but only succeeded once.

The remaining gremlins took up positions to see the mature nephilim and took some pot shots, but missed. Thanks to a hedge row and careful placement, they had no line of sight for woops. The war pig moved forward, towards the middle.

DSC00728.jpg

DSC00729.jpg

Turn 2:

1) Lilith used brood mother on the nearest mature nephilim, moved and transpositioned with the war pig. She then took a defensive stance.

2) The mature nephilim activated, attacked the pig twice and hit once. The pig squealed away and the mature nephilim used its last action to walk and end within melee range of the pig.

3) Sommer activated and used gremlin’s luck to discard Lilith’s hand (5 cards). He used his remaining actions to heal all the wounds.

4) The other mature nephilim advanced within melee range and missed a gremlin.

5) The hog whisperer moved within 2 inches of lilith.

With the rest of their actions the gremlins shot at the hog whisperer, hoping to get severe damage and hit Lilith in the blast. It failed utterly, doing 3 damage to the whisperer and none to Lilith. In retrospect, we had already established that this tactic didn’t work, but it’s fun and suit’s the gremlins. The warpig used all three AP attacking the mature nephilim near it and, thanks to Lilith’s lack of control cards, did 9 wounds to it.

DSC00730.jpg

DSC00731.jpg

DSC00732.jpg

Turn 3:

Lilith got the initiative for the third time in a row. I burned a soul stone to try to change it, but to no avail.

1) Lilith activated, charged Sommer doing 4 damage, then missed him with her third attack.

2) Sommer healed and made Lilith ditch her hand again.

3) The mature nephilim with 9 wounds activated and killed the pig. It moved and hid behind a building. (I had been hoping my opponent’s lack of cards would save my pig!)

4) A gremlin ran up the side of the board.

4) The terror tot charged it and missed.

5) A gremlin moved around to where it could see the wounded mature nephilim and shot it, killing it.

6) The other mature nephilim advanced and killed the offending gremlin. (this was difficult, as all gremlins are rather offensive)

The remaining gremlins used reckless abandon and charged the terror tot, killing it. A few others spread out.

DSC00733.jpg

DSC00734.jpg

DSC00735.jpg

DSC00736.jpg

Turn 4:

1) Lilith killed Sommer, walked, and used transposition on a gremlin to catch up to where most of my crew had been running.

2) The mature nephilim double walked to within melee of a gremlin and missed it.

The remaining gremlins spread out and ran for the hills.

DSC00737.jpg

DSC00738.jpg

DSC00739.jpg

Turn 5:

1) Lilith charged a gremlin, killing it, then moved to within 2 inches of another gremlin.

2) The gremlin near the nephilim swung and missed.

3) The nephilim murdered the gremlin near it.

The rest of the gremlins ran as far from the enraged nephilim as possible. (spreading out to take table quarters and hold my opponent’s deployment zone, of course)

DSC00740.jpg

DSC00741.jpg

DSC00742.jpg

DSC00743.jpg

Turn 6:

1) The hog whisperer ran down the side of the board, barely making it into my deployment zone. (to deny Lilith breakthrough)

2) The mature nephilim double moved towards the whisperer and was BARELY out of melee range.

3) Lilith killed the gremlin near her and transpositioned with the mature nephilim. (why not, I guess?)

The remaining two gremlins spread out.

The game ended.

DSC00746.jpg

So, you see how close Lilith is here? That’s how close the mature nephilim got before she switched places with him.

DSC00745.jpg

Gremlins:

Reconnoiter: I had gremlins in 3 quarters and received 2 VP

Thwart: 0

Eye for an eye: I had 3 models, he had 2. Accomplished! 2 VP

Total: 4

Lilith:

Claim jump: The nephilim was on the penguin card. Complete! 4 VP

Break through: 0 (go hog whisperer!)

Hold out: 0

Total: 4

Tie game.

All in all, I could have done better if I had never tried to kill Lilith at all, but it was so tempting to try it in a real game after all those test runs. (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, never mind this) I did pretty good over all, but I did have reconnoiter which gremlins are best at. All in all, a good game.

Edited by Justin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ha ha I love those houses! :) Proper Christmas Malifaux board with greeting cards and everything. Well done.

I've read that other thread of yours about the bad match-up. I think you've done quite well after all. Good write up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ha ha I love those houses! :) Proper Christmas Malifaux board with greeting cards and everything. Well done.

I've read that other thread of yours about the bad match-up. I think you've done quite well after all. Good write up!

Thanks!

Yeah, with certain missions it works out. We'll just reflip assassination and keep randomizing our schemes. I suppose it doesn't really matter, this game is definitely more fun to play friendly games with. (hell, what isn't!)

Nice report man, hehe love the christmas theme.

Thank you. After Christmas I'll glue a few Popsicle sticks on the buildings to make them look like they're all boarded up and repaint them. If I'm really feeling fancy, I'll even pick up a 3x3' piece of felt for these things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nice battle report, wish the NBR had been a little longer though ;)

Heh, yeah, next time. I'm usually pretty good about that. It was 4 am, and I already have an idea for my NBR this month...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I enjoyed reading this. Your kitchen table Xmas board is great, it has a lot of character. ;) It's a shame you couldn't quash that Neverborn wench, as always good to hear of a (rare) victory by the Gremlins. A draw is still good tho. When she got close to Som'er I'd have probably blown all the stones I had on Dumb Lucking her to death (I've killed Perdita this way and Lilith has the same defensive stats) altho that's usually at the cost of Jones, who dies in the process. heh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I enjoyed reading this. Your kitchen table Xmas board is great, it has a lot of character. ;) It's a shame you couldn't quash that Neverborn wench, as always good to hear of a (rare) victory by the Gremlins. A draw is still good tho. When she got close to Som'er I'd have probably blown all the stones I had on Dumb Lucking her to death (I've killed Perdita this way and Lilith has the same defensive stats) altho that's usually at the cost of Jones, who dies in the process. heh.

That might have worked, but was Perdita in defensive stance at the time? Lilith was, it helps a lot. Plus she has more soul stones than me and can burn hers to add to her defense, and then to prevent damage. And to top it off, I didn't have a heart in my hand for two turns or I would have squealed away when she smacked sommer.

I have found that killing Lilith is a waste of resources. I can't even do it when I focus everything I have on it. I think my biggest mistake that game was trying to catch her in a blast. That's alright though, so long as we're not playing assassination and he can't choose bodyguard we have good games.

Anyway, thanks! Glad you liked the report.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Story So Far:

Sommer stalked through the shadows, leading his crew of gremlins through alleys and and over cobbled streets.

“Are ya sure this is such a good idea boss? Comin’ in at down town and all?” Gronny squeaked nervously.

Sommer sneered, “Quit yer whining’, boy. Ya’ll keep havin’ too many damn young’uns. This is the only way to get enough toys before Christmas.”

Gronny quivered as he looked over his shoulder, half expecting to see a guild guard with a raised axe. “Whatever you say, boss.”

***

Across town Myranda sighed and put her fingers to her temples. “Why are we doing this again?”

“I already told you,“ Marcus rolled his eyes, “Christmas is the biggest shopping season in Malifaux. It’s a veritable gold mine for the guild in taxes. All this talk about giving is backed up by nothing but corporate greed. If we can shut down some of the shops in down town, we can finally start putting an end to the consumerism. Besides,” He smiled up to the saber-toothed cerberus beside him, “Betty wanted a new ball of yarn. Didn’t you, Betty?”

Betty nuzzled his hand and purred.

“Alright, well, we’re here.” Myranda said, waving her hand. “What do you intend to do now?”

“Well, just smash the windows and start taking things. Every toy destroyed is one less penny for the guild…and keep your eye out for some yarn.”

Suddenly a gang of gremlins rounded the corner.

“We’ve been spotted!” Gronny shouted.

“Hold yer horses, boy.” Sommer spat, adjusting his pants. “We can take ‘em.” With that he rushed Marcus and grabbed on to his coat, unleashing all the power the tacos he had for dinner could muster.

Marcus’s head began to spin as the noxious cloud engulfed him, and he fell to the ground unconscious.

Myranda shrugged her shoulders and walked away, Betty padding after her. “Serves him right.”

The game:

I’m sure I’m the only one on here on Christmas eve writing a battle report but I gave my brother some Malifaux stuff for Christmas and, after everyone else was in bed, we decided to try it out.

We played a 39 soul stone game (it fit what he had) and played “Holiday Shopping” from the Christmas story scenarios. We chose not to use schemes.

My Crew: Sommer Teeth Jones, 3 piglets, 4 gremlins, a war pig, a hog whisperer, and a mosquito, and a 7 soul stone cache.

Sommer, the 3 piglets, and the war pig were carrying my presents.

His Crew: Marcus, a razorspine rattler, 2 silurids, a saber-toothed Cerberus, Myranda, a hoar cat pride, and an 8 soul stone cache.

Myranda, Marcus, saber-toothed Cerberus, hoarcats, and the razorspine rattler carried his presents.

The set up was standard; Marcus chose a side and set up first.

DSC00756.jpg

DSC00757.jpg

DSC00758.jpg

Turn 1:

1) The hog whisperer gave the war pig reactivate and cast never happen. He healed the war pig with his zero action, bringing it back up to full health.

2) The saber-toothed failed leap, and walked twice behind a building

3) My mosquito killed a gremlin with larvae, summoning another mosquito and drawing me two cards

4) Hoarcats moved behind brown building with saber-toothed

5) Sommer cast git yer bro twice and healed the mosquito for one wound.

6) Silurid failed leap, moved behind the red building and went chameleon. The second silurid did the same thing.

7) The summoned mosquito cast larvae, killing a gremlin.

8) Myranda used furious casting and became a saber-toothed.

9) The summoned gremlin moved in front of the hedge

10) Marcus became a fox and hare, walked forward, defensive stance

11) Other summoned gremlin walked in front of hedge

12) Razorspine moved forward twice

Marcus was done. The war pig moved up twice, reactivated, stampeded at Marcus and missed, then stampeded at the razorspine and killed it, it dropped its present. Gremlins, sommer, mosquito, and piglets moved forward.

DSC00759.jpg

DSC00760.jpg

DSC00761.jpg

Turn 2:

1) Marcus became a fox and eagle and used stare down. Hit the war pig twice for eight damage and made it a beast.

2) The war pig activated and stampeded at Marcus. It hit, Marcus used a soul stone and it still hit. Marcus used a soul stone to prevent the damage, down to 2 wounds. The pig charged a silurid next and missed. Then it charged the furthest silurid and did 5 damage.

3) Silurid charged war pig, missed, went chameleon. The next silurid charged the war pig, killed it, and went chameleon.

4) Piglet charged wounded silurid, missed. Attacked again and killed it. (my piglets were within 8” of gremlins this turn)

5) Myranda moved twice onto dropped present, used smell fear.

6) Mosquito flew forwards, used pull my finger and hit Marcus. He burned a soul stone to reduce the damage to 1.

7) Sabortooth failed leap, moved twice toward Marcus.

8) Piglet charged silurid and attacked it with its third action, doing 4 damage total.

9) Hoarcats moved towards Marcus.

Marcus was now done. A mosquito moved up. Sommer healed it and a gremlin to full. The two forward gremlins focused shots at hoarcats and failed harmless. Remaining gremlins and mosquito moved up. The remaining silurid died during the closing phase. (he was so lonely)

DSC00762.jpg

DSC00763.jpg

Turn 3:

1) Mosquito moved around Marcus, hitting the saber-toothed, Myranda, and Marcus. Myranda and the saber-toothed used presents to prevent, preventing 1 damage each. Marcus used a soul stone and prevented it all. Myranda lost her present.

2) Marcus charged a piglet, missed, used wild heart for fox and tiger, attacked again, missed.

3) The fully healed mosquito moved and used gremlin’s luck to ditch Marcus’s hand.

4) Myranda picked up present, attacked mosquito, missed.

5) Gremlin moved up, socused shot at the saber-toothed, missed, and hit the nearest mosquito for two.

6) Hoarcats charged the mosquito near Myranda and killed it.

7) Mosquito moved near saber-toothed, defensive stance.

8) Sabortooth missed mosquito.

Marcus was done. First a gremlin used three actions to run up next to the hoarcats. The next gremlin used “ya’ll watch this” to shoot that gremlin. He happened to hit and get moderate damage. The blast hit the hoarcats and Myranda. The hoarcats used their present to reduce the damage to zero and Myranda used hers to reduce it to one. The gremlin being shot at died, as did one that was within 2” of the one that used ya’ll watch this, but it netted me two cards. Myranda lost her present. Sommer moved up and used git yer bro on my last gremlin. One piglet charged Marcus three times, it hit every time and Marcus used three soul stones to prevent damage, he only ended up taking 1 wound. The net piglet activated, charged Marcus, missed, then charged a mosquito and a gremlin and missed. The third piglet missed Marcus, the hoarcats, and the saber-toothed. It hit the saber-toothed for 2 and hit the hoarcats for 4. The summoned gremlin shot at the hoar cat, missed, and killed the only other gremlin.

DSC00764.jpg

DSC00765.jpg

DSC00766.jpg

Turn 4:

1) Mosquito moved, pulled, killed hoarcats, damaged Miranda and saber-toothed.

2) Myranda turned back, used furious casting, healed saber-toothed for 3 and herself for 2, companioned saber-toothed. The saber-toothed killed mosquito, charged pig for 4 damage, pig used present to reduce it to 2.

3) Damaged piglet activated and pig charged saber-toothed three times, doing 4 damage, and then died from its wound from reckless fast. (there is some debate about what happens when a stampeding pig with one wound has to pig charge, but since I haven’t gotten an answer on this yet, we flipped for it.)

4) Marcus became hare and fox, moved, picked up present dropped by pig.

5) Gremlin charged Marcus, missed.

6) Mosquito moved, pulled killing saber-toothed and damaging marcus and Miranda. Marcus used last soul stone to prevent the damage.

7) Hog whisperer moved and used pig whispering.

8) Piglet charged Marcus, missed. Its stampede ended because it was in range of the whisperer. It charged Miranda and used a present to hit and do 3 damage.

9) Piglet behind house charged towards sommer as he was the only model it could see. Its stampede ended. It charged Miranda, used present to hit and killed her.

10) Sommer moved up three times right next to Marcus.

Ok, I forgot to take pictures this turn, but just imagine Marcus completely surrounded by sommer and a gremlin crew.

Turn 5:

1) Marcus used wild heart for fox and serpent, charged piglet and missed, picked up two presents.

2) Piglet charged Marcus, missed.

3) Net piglet charged Marcus, hit for 2.

4) Mosquito used pull my finger, hit Marcus for 2 and killed both piglets.

5) Sommer used pull my finger three times and killed Marcus, although he tried to prevent some of the damage with the last non-used present.

DSC00767.jpg

The gremlins spent turn 6 opening presents and defecating upon the Christmas tree, since nobody was left to stop them.

Edited by Justin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That REALLY is COOL! The terrain may not win awards, but it IS CHARMING with a certain retro feel VERY reminiscent of the type of terrain I remember from WAY BACK WHEN I first started gaming with minis...cherished memories. GREAT STUFF & a MERRY CHRISTMAS to you! :fing02:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That REALLY is COOL! The terrain may not win awards, but it IS CHARMING with a certain retro feel VERY reminiscent of the type of terrain I remember from WAY BACK WHEN I first started gaming with minis...cherished memories. GREAT STUFF & a MERRY CHRISTMAS to you! :fing02:

Thanks!

I really wanted to do a specialized Hansel and Grettel mission with Zoraida and the gingerbread house, but I never got around to it.

Merry Christmas to you as well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another nice Battle Report.

Only comment is at the end of Turn 2 you could have used "Deliverance" with the forward two Gremlins, then "Reckless Fast," and finally the focused shots on the Hoarcat Pride to avoid the "Harmless" roll. Might have helped a bit.

In the end it didn't seem to matter to much though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Another nice Battle Report.

Only comment is at the end of Turn 2 you could have used "Deliverance" with the forward two Gremlins, then "Reckless Fast," and finally the focused shots on the Hoarcat Pride to avoid the "Harmless" roll. Might have helped a bit.

In the end it didn't seem to matter to much though.

I forgot that terrifying ignores harmless. Good advice, thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×