Justin Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 (edited) Marcus sat in the bar, enjoying his Soulstone gin with his traveling companion, Myranda. Their animal companions waited outside. It had been a long day, he had spent it cataloging strange new plants and animals that lived on the fringe of human exploration. Unfortunately, his peace and quiet was short lived. Raucous laughter, crude noises, and horrible banjo music floated in from outside. Marcus grabbed the arm of a passing bar maid, "What is all the commotion?" "Oh, just the gremlins again I would guess. The bayou isn't that far from here and there's a tree out there they, well, they use it as a communal toilet." The woman wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, they're a nuisance, but they're armed and nobody here is willing to risk a bullet to get rid of a few pests." "Thank you." Marcus dismissed the woman and went back to his gin. He did his best to ignore the ruckus as he sank back in his chair and let out a deep sigh. Suddenly the window next to Marcus exploded in a shower of broken glass and a handful of steaming gremlin excrement hit Marcus full in the face. His brow twitched as he slowly put down his gin. "Uh oh..." Myranda said as she recognized the look in his eyes. Marcus burst from the bar and charged towards the offending gremlins who were still gathered around their tree, erupting in obscene fits of laughter. He gave his Sabortooth Cerberus the signal and it leapt towards the scum, snarling. The gremlins reacted quicker than the cat expected, forming a line and pelting it with shot as it charged. One gremlin took the opportunity to creep behind its friend and point his weapon at his friend's boot, blowing off the toe. As his companion fell to the ground screaming he snickered, "Woops." He pulled the blasted boot off his friend's foot and put it on his own, admiring the way the toes wriggled through the hole. The gremlins had formed an effective line, but the Sabortooth was tough and resilient, shrugging off the blasts. Som'er Teeth stepped forward, adjusting his pants, "I'll take car o' this one," he chuckled. "Someone, pull my finger." A trembling gremlin complied. "Heh, heh, weapon armed." He waddled over to the Sabortooth, adjusted his pants, and let loose his fury. The Sabortooth fell lifeless to the ground, twitching. The gremlins shook their weapons in the air, hootin' and hollerin' as Som'er Teeth took a bow. Marcus watched, his rage building. He gestured towards the gremlin with the banjo. The razorspine rattler at his side hissed its agreement and charged. The great beast wrapped itself around the little, green musician and squeezed the life out of him, his banjo snapping with a loud twang. Marcus idly thought that it was the best sound the banjo had made all night. Then he got an idea. He calmly walked up to the gremlin's favorite tree and summoned the strength of the bear. He braced himself against the tree, uprooting the improvised toilet and tossing it aside with ease. A silence fell upon the gremlin side of the field. Som'er Teeth narrowed his eyes, his lips curling into a snarl. "No..." In the stunned silence the Rattler charged, taking a hail of gremlin shot on the way in. He engaged the towering war pig the gremlins had brought along, the two titans missing each other with every strike. The gremlins raised their weapons and fired into the melee. When the smoke cleared, the mighty war pig lay dead, full of gremlin shot. "Woops," Som'er Teeth muttered. Myranda raised her hands in the air, her body encased in a bright blue light which radiated from her like a small sun. The rattler took on the same hue, its dripping wounds closing and its strength returning. With renewed energy it charged, ensnaring Som'er Teeth and one of his hapless green lackeys in its crushing grasp. As it squeezed, the two figures in its coils stopped struggling. Then they stopped breathing. When the rattler uncoiled, the lifeless bodies of Som'er Teeth and his friend fell to the blood stained grass. The rattler kept advancing, chasing down one more pesky gremlin before its bloody rampage was done. "Knock down our shit tree, will ya?" The last enraged gremlin cried, not quite grasping the gravity of the whole situation. He sprinted across the field; stopping at a tree near the tavern, he unbuckled his pants. "Is he...?" Myranda's voice trailed off. "Oh lord, not again." Marcus sighed, padding off after the offending gremlin like a stern parent pursuing a naughty child. The gremlin screeched as he saw Marcus approach and went running across the field once more, his trousers around his legs. He hid behind the tavern. "Get back here you annoying little imp!" Marcus bellowed. Myranda hid her face in her hands as Marcus relentlessly chased the pantsless gremlin around the tavern. This is what the great Marcus, the innovative archanist, terror to the guild, inventor of Chimerancy, was doing with his spare moments. The set up: We played a small, 22 soulstone scrap using only starter box armies. I had my good ol' boy bayou gremlins: Som'er Teeth Jones, four gremlins, a war pig, and a six soul stone cash. My opponent was using: Marcus, Myranda, Razorspine Rattler, and a Sabertooth Cerberus. He had a soulstone cash of four thanks to Marcus. We chose to play in a pioneer town because it fit the terrain we had. The board was 4x4. We flipped diagonal deployment and snowstorm (which we forgot to flip for throughout the game.) The board: Objectives: Gremlins: Slaughter, thwart (announced), sabotage (yeah, I know they can't do this...found out when I tried. To quote my gremlins, "woops.") Achanists: Slaughter, breakthrough (announced), sabotage. We flipped and I chose a side and set up first. After set up: Turn 1) All models on both sides advanced forward with a walk move for both actions. The sabortooth cerberus pushed an extra 6" with Stalker. I have no images of turn one, all the models just got closer. Turn 2) Gremlins got the initiative and my boy with the banjo walked forward and flipped for it. The Sabortooth Cerberus then activated, used its leap ability, and walked twice so it was too close to my gremlins for comfort. Som'er Teeth, the remaining three gremlins, and the war pig all rounded the corner of the cottage and shot it to hell. Two shots missed and "woopsed" all over my own guys, but I got the sabortooth down to three wounds, although Som'er teeth had to use dumb luck. The remaining archanists advanced forward with two walk moves. Turn 3) I cheated fate and used a soulstone to get the initiative. Som'er teeth heroically walked forward and used reckless to "pull my finger" twice while within range of the sabortooth. It wisely chose death over the stench. The razorspine charged my lone gremlin with the banjo, the only one who hadn't turned to gun down the Sabortooth. He was fanged to death. Poor little guy, he only wanted to share his music with the world. The remaining gremlins and warpig moved and shot at the Rattler. Marcus and Myranda moved forward. Turn 4) Marcus got in base contact with my tree and sabotaged it. (Nooo!) The razorspine charged my war pig and managed to miss with one strike and draw a black joker for damage with the next. The gremlins shot at the rattler, ironically drawing it as the model to be hit with the firing into combat rules and then missing it with the cb-->df duel, only to hit the warpig with woops since it was the closest friendly model...with every single shot. Som'er Teeth walked forward and used pull my finger, the rattler was out of range...but my war pig wasn't. at this point I had done 9 points of damage to my own war pig, and my opponent had done none, in spite of his charge. Myranda healed the wounds on the Rattler from the previous turn. Turn 5) I decided to start shooting at Myranda and get rid of the healing. So a gremlin fired, got a woops, and hit my pig, killing it. That's right, I did 12 wounds to my own war pig. The Rattler then used his serpent strike to charge Som'er Teeth, killing him (he had been wounded by dumb luck and reckless.) The Rattler still had another action, so it charged a gremlin, killing it. One remaining gremlin walked three times to my opponent's side of the board, the other hit the Rattler. Myranda did more healing and Marcus pursued my running gremlin. Turn 6) My gremlin on his side of the board tried to sabotage a tree, failing when I realized that it was an anarchist only scheme. (It was our first game!) So, in stead, I ran and hid with it behind a cottage. Marcus moved towards him. Myranda and the rattler easily killed the gremlin remaining on my half of the board. The game ended. I had one hiding gremlin, and my opponent had Marcus, Myranda, and the Rattler. Neither of us accomplished either portion of slaughter. My opponent achieved both his schemes (his rattler ended up in my deployment zone and Marcus sabotaged my tree) giving him four victory points. I successfully thwarted him slaughtering me, giving me two victory points. The win goes to the archanists. Ok, so it was a good first game. It was a little difficult because my opponent works at the game store and had to keep stopping to help customers. (I know, I need to talk to the guy about priorities. Malifaux > Work) But, all in all, very fun. I actually started out alright, massacring his sabortooth without any real losses because he jumped it forward too soon. But I never got to take advantage of survival of the fittest due to range...and Som'er Teeth dying. Gremlins desperately need that. And killing my own pig was not cool. I also never got to use "Go get your bro" because I have no other Gremlin models, owning only the starter. I think, in future games, this army should fair much better. Oh, yeah, I was also hindered by my own reading comprehension. At least I got good draws on every single terror check, I was expecting gremlins to be running like crazy. Anyway, over all, fantastic game! Edited November 22, 2009 by Justin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n0signal Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 Very entertaining and well written story - absolutely hilarious and keeps with the spirit of the Gremlins. Also, your game sounded like great fun - good battle report and always nice to have pics! Thanks for sharing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeafNala Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 EXCELLENT STORY & COOL PHOTOS! What more could an Old Man want?...Well one or two things come to mind, but, that aside, GREAT STUFF! :fing02: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Caroland Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 Got a good hoot of laughter out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zee Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Good stuff! I guess the friend was very patient while you took pics and notes . Was a really fun report. I can do one or the other, not both usually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Good stuff! I guess the friend was very patient while you took pics and notes . Was a really fun report. I can do one or the other, not both usually. Well, with him stopping to help customers I had plenty of time. And I hired my little brother to take pics. And by hired I mean I handed him a camera and said, "You're coming with me." We both took two wounds though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n0signal Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 And by hired I mean I handed him a camera and said, "You're coming with me." We both took two wounds though. I hope you brought some moonshine with you to swig those wounds away? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omenbringer Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 (edited) Suddenly the window next to Marcus exploded in a shower of broken glass and a handful of steaming gremlin excrement hit Marcus full in the face. His brow twitched as he slowly put down his gin. My favorite part of the story and my hopes for the next Gremlin crew addition; the Gremlin excrement canon operator (or the Poo Flinger). Stats similar to the Bayou Gremlins with the following: Smear, Melee 1, CB 4, Dg 1/2/3 with CB Masks Poison 2 Trigger Excrement Canon, Range 10, CB 4, Dg 1B/2BB/3BBB with either a CB Masks Poison 2 trigger and/or a CB Crows insignificant trigger. Spells: - So'mer's "Pull my finger" - (2) "Wet one" (CC 12/ Rst -/ Rg -) Place a 3" swamp template that lasts until the end of the game. The Template must touch the Gremlins base. - (1) "Where's the lighter" (CC 13/ Rst -/ Rg C) Similar to Wreathed in Flame though Gremlin takes 1 Wd as well. - (All) O'ma'god" (CC 15 Crow/ Rst -/ Rg -) Discard 1 control card, summon 1 Piglet, Gremlin suffers 2 Wds. Edited November 24, 2009 by Omenbringer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDTailz Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 I hope you brought some moonshine with you to swig those wounds away? Unfortunately I don't drink. I think he wants me to die so he can draw two cards >.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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