callumrice Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 A Poem, Whirr, Clunk. The harsh glow of blue-ray beamed, Piercing the cold dark smog, But a minute passes, Scouring, surveying, sensing. Tick, Tick, Tick, Fast, skimming flat and rock alike, Racing through rubble. Quick, Quick, mission as at hand, Team, work as a team. One leaps, Two sureveys, Three, Slingshot.. cutting the air, Silently, swiftly they scuttle. They were made for this. Closing in, mission almost complete, In position, enemies their master will defeat. Clunk; click, Video-relay activated, All they see, I can see. I smile, an assuring smile, confident. Once again the pack of speedy scouts Justified their worth. For I am a Steampunk sorcerer And you will acknowledge my greatness, Lest you will be tracked by my pack of surveillance servants, And downed. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Weird? Or not bad? I was inspired by Mattys story and decided I would have a go myself. Im ok at short stories but much better at poetry. Or certainly, I used to be. Its been a fair few years since I attempted it so I know its not great but its got potential. Only worked on it for 30 mins or so, certain parts need worked on but you get the idea, hopefully! Its a poem on the arachnid swarm. How they work, what they do. If its well received then I will do more, I can pick another Wyrd character and continue. Tell me your thoughts anyway guys. (NB. I know poetry is a "womany" thing but its certainly one thing I am good at! If it aint well received its cool, Ill carry on posting pics of my mediocre painting skills, your choice! which is the lesser of the two evils I hear you ask!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Caroland Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Poetry isn't a woman thing, though it certainly seems there are more out there that do it due to social views. Like it, bit rough in some of the areas, but I was following it well and figured it out about half way through and naturally I rather like the idea of it following something Wyrd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hinton Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 It's good. As FF says, poetry isn't a "womany" thing, so don't worry about it. Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vytis Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Dood, poetry is a human thing! Seems to me the last few Poet Laureates have been men. It is a great concept, and, as FF said, rough in places, but very good overall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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