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Math Mathonwy

The thoracoabdominal incision

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To quote the band County Medical Examiners, "The thoracoabdominal incision is the name of this turgidly morbid game."

Coronering can get boring so butchering makes for a nice change of pace every once in a while. So with that in mind, I brought the following.

McMourning (On the Clock, Test Subjects, Guild's Coroner) (7 Pool)
Zombie Chihuahua
Hog Whisperer

Arrayed against me was Lynch, Huggy, Fuhatsu, Izamu, Illuminated, and a Katanaka Sniper. All loaded up to the gills with Upgrades and 7SS Pool.

I had FFM on Sebastian and Tail 'Em while my opponent had FFM on the Sniper and Show of Force. Standard Deployment and Stash-stash was the other name of the game (besides The thoracoabdominal incision, that is).

I went with a sort of two-pronged apporach with the Piglets and the Whisperer on the left, Sebastian and Guardian in the center and the rest on the right. Huggy and Illuminated came to challenge the Piggies, the Sniper deployed on top of a tall rock formation right in my face, Fuhats and Izamy were central while Lynch was opposite McM.

First turn I moved Piglets into position for a climbing Charge on turn two and Lawyer put some fees on the Sniper who missed both shots aimed at Piglets. My hand was pretty funny - three Aces and the Black Joker with a nine and a thirteen completing it.

Stuff moved forward but nothing all that exciting happened except for Fuhatsu shooting at Sebastian. Red Joker on the Attack, Black Joker on the damage.

(The random Flesh Hound is Huggy as my opponent forgot him at home; the explosion markers are Stashes)


"Draw the blade down over the body of the sternum and breastplate
Past the manubrium and xiphoid process and costoxiphoid ligament group"

Second turn things started happening. I won initiative and The Guardian gave McM Defensive +2 and moved to take a hold of the Stash on the right going Defensive himself as well. Sniper shot a Piggie but didn't manage to kill it. A Piglet Charged the Sniper, got Rams and my opponent cheated low with a mystery card due to Lynch's Expert Cheater, the Piglet Charged Sebastian, Pushed him around and did a bit of damage and with his final AP Charged Fuhatsu to minimal effect. Pinball Piglet!

Izamu skewered the little guy.

And then came to the Stash Engaging The Guardian.

Fuhatsu healed to full and shot at something but to netted a Black Joker again. McM Charged Lynch but managed only two damage and two Poison. Sebastian loitered to the scene to put some Poison pressure on. Huggy burnt Recalled Training and Charged Sebastian. I top decked a thirteen for defense against the first attack and Red Joker against the second. That Recalled Training was a dud!

Lynch attacked McM three times but McM was flipping three cards for Defense and I consistently flipped stuff like 1,3,13 or 2,2,12. It was ridiculous. One shot got through for four damage but I prevented with, you guessed it, a Severe.

Illuminated seized the other Stash and got Charged by a Piglet who did very little. Lawyer had come around to help the Piggies with their Horror Duels. One Piglet Charged the Sniper and grabbed on with his first attack so that was that. Final Piglet Tailed Fuhatsu.

Little Stinky (Chihuahua) gave some Poison to Izamu and Huggy and then Poison ticked with Lynch getting a Black Joker on prevention (my opponent's deck had turned).

We both scored Stash and I scored Tail Em while my opponent got Show of Force. 2-2

"Costal cartilage snaps from each of the ribs so we may look inside
The inner organs sit on display-glistening-with nothing to hide..."


Third turn.

My opponent won Initiative and Huggy ate Sebastian with Red Joker damage. Full three for FFM. McM butchered Lynch with Red Joker damage in return.

Izamu tried to murder the Guardian and did some damage but the Guardian is very resilient since he had Def Stance and I kept flipping super low and super high. A Piglet Charged Fuhatsu to minimal effect. Madman with a Gun is difficult to resist with a Piglet (requiring a Red Joker...) so Fuhatsu Pushed the Piggie away and took a shot at McM doing a bit of damage.

Guardian hit Izamu back and managed to go through Armor and with the Poison damage and such Izamu was at one wound left. Chihuahua Poisoned him and Huggy again sealing both their Fates.

Sniper hit the Piglet who killed the Sniper in return giving my opponent two for FFM.

Illuminated took double Df Stance making him pretty indestructable but Lawyer managed to Slow him. A Piglet Tailed Fuhatsu again.

Poison killed Izamu and Huggy and the former missed the Guardian with his final blow. We both got FFM, Stash and our other Schemes but I got more from FFM so the tally was 7-6.

"...You've earned your degree...
...In the art of necropsy...
...The stiff is ripe and putrefied..."

Fourth turn saw McM gutting Fuhatsu and with just an Illuminated left, my opponent called it.


Piglets are silly. Guild's Coroner is legit - on the second turn I drew cards from Sebastian's Corpse and killed Lynch with those cards and then drew more cards from Lynch's Corpse. My list, incredibly silly though it was, was at a pretty decisive advantage over my opponent's due to massive outactivation and ability to ignore Armor. I also had pretty amazing luck in some decisive moment, chief among them Recalled Training Huggy trying to hit Sebastian.

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Dammit Math! I had been almost completely loyal to the guild until picking McMourning up. He made me start both ressers and then arcanists and now you are going to make me start gremlins by showing how silly pigs are?! Is there no end to this madness?! :D

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Digging it. Pigs seem quite amusing. Makes me miss my War Wabbit funtimes with Marcus. I like the writing style. Just loose enough on the details to basically read itself.

Neat paintjobs too, both of you. Lynch is looking proper dapper, as he ought to.

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On 13.12.2017 at 11:42 AM, Math Mathonwy said:

Poison killed Izamu and Huggy and the former missed the Guardian with his final blow.



Warrior's Death: When this model is
reduced to 0 Wounds by an enemy :meleeAttack,

means he doesn`t hit unless he`s "killed" by the enemy model.

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Cool battle report.  It sounds like the flips in the critical turn 2 were quite crazy; do think that affected things much?  It occurred to me that if you're planning to sit the Piglets all over on one side of the board you could possibly afford not to bother with the Hog Whisperer and just let them get on with the mayhem.

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