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Greetings everyone! I have spent this time absent horrifyingly busy with work and novel writing penning my magnum opus! i just got it done, so feast your eyes on my greatest shitpost contribution to the TTB community ever!

I swear to god an update for GRF is coming soon, this was just the least work my brain had to put in to something to fill out


Into The Halls
Malifaux Gets Schooled


To mark the turn of the millennium, A spiraling portal split through the mountains in a quiet Arizona town. Nobody knew why it opened, or at first, what laid on the other side. It was expected to be some strange plane of terrors, beyond the reproach of man. Instead, It seemed to be any other suburban neighborhood, with the bizarre exception of a towering High school in the center of the town. A great brass plaque proudly announced the name; Malifaux Academy

It was a bastion of modern age schooling without explanation. Classrooms came equipped with all the bells and whistles, stocked to the brim with supplies and textbooks. Despite it’s seemingly otherworldly origins, the first classes were enrolled posthaste, a lottery of some of the world’s top students. Everything was set to turn this new space into an academy capable of producing the saviors of the earth.

Students started to notice bizarre materials in the curriculum, and teachers that weren’t even brought through the breach. They spoke of impossible actions, and trained students to manipulate arcane forces unfamiliar to their homes. To everyone’s surprise, those lessons started to pay off. The desire for enrollment flew through the in the general population flew through the  roof.

Then, ten years after the first graduating class, it happened.

The breach flew shut. The greatest school in the world, and many of the students and families bunked therein, were gone. A single blackboard was embedded in the ground where the breach was, simply reading “Closed for Renovations”

The graduating students were fought over viciously by various Pillars of Academia. The Ivy League, MIT, State Institutions and so many more colleges began fighting for control over those precious few students who’d re-integrated into earth society after malifaux. Sabotage began. College tournaments became much deeper than mere sports. And that was just in the United states.

The international turmoil between varying colleges caused a rise to the Institute. It was decided that the knowledge gleaned in Malifaux needed to be properly controlled, and distributed earthside to prevent any further infighting. (all the burning elementary schools were starting to become a nuisance)

The Institute's iron grip on modern academics were once again put to the test when one full academic cycle later, the breach re-opened. Not a single trace of the class trapped on the other side of the breach remained. This time around, recruitment was entirely done by the choice of the Institute, and travel to malifaux academy became tightly controlled… by price.

Nowadays, any who find their way to malifaux can enroll their students in the academy. To many who live there, while the institute’s connection to the Academy is nebulous, it is infinitely clear malifaux is under their control.

Officially, Malifaux academy is a place both led and owned by the students. The student council decides nearly everything, the final veto only handed to the principle (the only official Institute member in the entire school). They decide the lunch menu. What clubs get funded. The time, place, and intensity of school events. It’s also their job to make sure that the student death toll from the academy's trademark mysterious events are low. Their failure at task quite vividly crystallizes their purpose, as Institute schools would never have something as ludicrous as a death toll. Or armed students. Or firefights during school hours.

This minor schism between stated authority and apparent control allows the wiggle room in which the factions of Malifaux academy exist. They all have their own opinions on how the academy should be run, and scheme in the bizarrely pastoral suburbs as to how exactly the school will become theirs.

And then, there are those enrolled for mysterious circumstances. Those the academy itself seems to desire. For those unlucky few, pulled by the strings of fate like a puppet it’s going to be one hell of a ride. You will be used. Beleaguered. Driven wholly mad by the experience. You will be a pawn in a game of intrigue between factions beyond any conventional logic, and you should fear the day you are used for the winning move.

And you thought High school sucked on earth.


New Fated Supertype: Enrolled

An individual’s reasons for coming to Malifaux Academy are often widely speculated upon. In the case of some currently enrolled at MA, it is to create a school after their own image. Graduation is a far-flung thought, while control of the student council becomes their onus if the school shall ever succeed. These students need no purpose laid out for them, they are utterly self driven towards the goal of those they back, and whatever missions hold their personal fancy.

Then, there are those who just want to make it from freshman orientation to graduation day in one piece. To find a niece somewhere in between the killer vines in the greenhouse, and the homicidal vending machines. Many reach for that simple objective. Seemingly not one has received their penultimate wish. A simple request of returning some lost books to the library has a bizarre tendency of turning into some epic quest to clear the fourth floor east wing of some malevolent force. It’s no wonder the Cafeteria’s Automat is left on after the school closes.

They are called the Enrolled, those fated to come to malifaux academy whether they like it or not. It has been quite common for Enrolled to band together in groups of four to five, watching each other's back to make sure they can all walk at graduation. At some point before receiving their enrollment letter, the fated gleans some form of prophecy in their day to day earthside life. It could be as stereotypical as a tarot reading, or as erstwhile as a Bizarre thought, or a ridiculously wordy fortune cookie. But the next time the fated checks their mailbox, they will be informed of their enrollment.

And what parents wouldn’t be thrilled enough to let little timmy go to such a good school?


The enrolled May be any sort of Fated, and used the associated Tarot reading for that specific kind of fated. There are only three true differences between your average fated, and one of the enrolled:

Not Just a Number: The fated are old enough to enroll into Malifaux academy, which means they aren’t old enough to do quite a few things. Age restricted products such as firearms, weapons, alcohol, drugs, and any other such goods or services is not available to the fated unless given to them by an outside authority, or waived by special dispensation of the student council. If he fated’s pursuit requires such items, then they would need to find a source below the radar. This is far from impossible, as all of the above listed products are made in various corners of MA.

The fated also, more often than not, either have a parent or guardian sponsoring their way into MA. this can be a source of somewhat more expensive items like Phones or Computers up to FM discretion.

Taught a lesson: The fated’s classes are guaranteed to give some sort of homework, which can really  put a damper on getting to the bottom of just what is going on in this school-centric dimension. Each week, the fated must pass an academic skill test of the Fatemaster’s Choice, with a TN of the fatemaster’s choice. During each dramatic time, the fated may discard a twist card as a (0) action, and come up with a reason this encounter is relevant to the week’s assingment. If the fatemaster finds it sufficiently convincing, the fated gains a the following condition until the test is made: “Hard knocks+1: this character gets +1 to their next assignment flip”.

Characters who fail more than three consecutive assignment flps are considered to be “in detention”. Characters in detention will be confronted by any members of the student council they would meet should they be seen outside of their scheduled movements, and may not attend club actvities, as they are forced to report to the study hall during that time. Members of the council in detention lose all priviliges of their position, if they are not simply kicked out for meeting inattendance.

Detention ends for a student if either the next assignment is passed, or if one of the failing grades is somehow “rectified” through whatever means become necessary.

Enforced Schedule: Classes at Malifaux Accademy run 7 to 4, monday through friday, with club activities scheduled from 4-6, depending on running time, with club membership requiring attendance of at least one meeting per week. Outside of that, the school is off limits to all students, save for portions of the council’s underlings with the “Nightwatch” dispensation. Any council member encountering a fated without such a dispensation outside of hours will become hostile immediately, unless they have sufficient reason to do otherwise.

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Dramatis Personae, Cliques Majoris

(Guild) The Student Council

Those for whom the status quo works.

Lucius Matheson, Student Council President

Sometimes it seems as if a student is trying too hard to have a sterling college resume. Violin, Fencing, Insectoid Sciences, and a longstanding spot on the student council, eventually ascending to the seat of  president. Lucius is a man with a mission, though no two can agree on what that mission is. Being one of the few students who sees the principle without being expelled, he perpetually seems to know something other students don’t. Some have even posited that the Principal is long dead, and that Lucius’ Iconic mask simply serves to hide his smug grin whenever he mentions “orders from the top”

Lady J, Secretary of Security

Every student has a name somewhere on the school’s roster, Save for one. In place of a name, she’s known by her Pseudonym. Her Position. What She’s Seen as by the staff. Lady Justice. She is Judge, Jury, and judging by the blade on her back, Executioner. It’s her job to make sure that when things go wrong, they’re corrected as quickly as humanly possible, if not quicker. Once you’ve done something the council finds objectionable, someone from her order will hand down your judgement. Her special corps of hall monitors are permitted to make snap judgements, especially when dealing with things that shouldn’t be alive. And if it won’t stay dead no matter what, then Lady J gets called in.

Sonnia Cridd, Secretary of Regulation

Magic is, by and large, a forbidden practice at Malifaux academy. If a student finds a class on their schedule off of the “Thalarian list”, they must do their best to get re-assigned. But many don’t, for their own reasons. But those that do run the risk of smelling of magic, being sniffed out by the witch hunters, and being brought before Sonnia Cridd. Her iron mask supposedly keeps an utterly wild talent for fire magic relatively tame, but her cruelty supposedly runs unchecked. Behind her office on the edge of the administrative wing lay the disciplinarian room. A tacky place with yellow wallpaper called “the crypt” by those seen it and remained unscathed. Those casters that go through an interrogation in the crypt and come out… their vacant, haunting smiles serve as a warning.

Perdita Ortega, Secretary of Incidence

You go to class with at least one Ortega. Probably not any of the big business names like Francisco or Nino, probably just one sitting meekly in the seat closest to the door. For some reason, they don’t get in trouble for thumbing through their cellphone, getting a call consisting entirely of screamed Spanish, or subsequently bolting out the door like they got their last tamale from the cafeteria and not their lunchbox. The reason for all this, and Voice on the other end of the line, is Perdita Ortega. It’s her job to make sure that the ridiculous claims of monsters stalking the school halls remains just that, ridiculous. So when she finds some form of other-dimensional thing in dire need of expunging for the sake of the council’s reputation, she knows which of her seemingly infinite siblings to call. As to how she has the free time to prey on the predators of Malifaux academy? You try remembering the names, birthdays, specialties, and schedules of a small army while facing down purple beelzebub, without an IQ that looks like a Zip code. Testing out is basically just an inconvenience.

Charley Hoffman, Secretary of Allocation

Malifaux Academy has no singular Secretary of the treasury. The department of the treasury looks over a budget that would make G20 countries blush, a duty far too much for one high schooler to handle. Charley Hoffman’s job is far more simple. He makes sure the right groups are getting money, and that the cashflow gets cut to problem areas before there’s a giant robot centipede rummaging around the school and making the trams run slow again. If not, there might not be enough in the coffers to clean up after the latest escapade of the “Holy trinity” of J, Sonnia, and Perdita. (and sometimes Nelly) You wouldn’t even know he suffers from a muscular decay syndrome with just how much he runs around. His rig is, of course, provided by the infinitely kind Viktor Ramos, who of course deserves every cent in their budget, just like the other clubs. If it wasn’t for their innovation, Council constructs like Peacekeepers, Wardens, and Guardians wouldn’t exist, and the school would be that much more dangerous for their absence.

Doug McMourning, Secretary of Student Health and Wellness

If Malifaux academy had an immune system, you’d be absolutely sure it would be the smiling face of Douglas McMourning. He singlehandedly brought the nursing club back from the brink of irrelevance, and through his ingenious “Uniform Initiative”, brought it into a whole new era of popularity. Of course the boy has some particular leanings, It’s only natural that anyone dealing with health would have to confront the issues with the “low energy student” population. Then again, should someone empathizing with his fellow students be punished? That red mohawk is a trust thing after all. How else would he be able to get through to students past his establishment background?

Nelly Cochraine, Head editor of the Malifaux Accademy Times.

Nelly is a terribly nosy person. She’s never acknowledged the word Stop, even if it’s been to keep her out of the way of a 30 ton pile of anger and servos. Her particular brand of Mud-slinging gossip/hard hitting journalism, mixed with her utter heedlessness, was recognized as a potential asset by the student council. As long as she’s snooping in the right places, Nelly’s head is regularly patted and she’s praised like a good reporter. She isn’t always able to contain her curiosity though, but then again, that’s what short print runs are for.

(Ressers) The Punks

Those who wanna see it all burn down. they don't need no education, nor dark sarcasm in the classroom. Anarchy in the MA baby.

Shaemus, Uncertain Heartthrob

Nobody in Malifaux accademy has had a string of Failed romances longer than Shaemus, nor a list of those Exes that still seem to want to hang around him. Maybe it’s the hat, the animal magnetism, or just the accent, but everyone with a thing for bad boys wants to hop on the first train to Ireland. Whatever begins them all, the same thing tends to end them. His girl crosses him in a bad mood, someone swears they see a fight, but by the next day, she’s utterly fine, if not a little bit pale, and is often seen talking with his long time “back up girl” Sybelle for the seemingly requisite change of wardrobe that comes with membership in the “Shaemus’ Ex” club. If you’re a member of the fairer sex in attendance of the academy, steering clear is a definite advisory, no matter how nice the full ride scholarship with stipends for his capture seems.

Grigori Nicodem, Dissatisfied Janitor

Anyone who’s attended class while the floors are still wet knows the story. A student with low energy is just a student who’s finally given in and realized just what a school this tyrannical is all about. To someone with ambitions, Nico the Janitor’s speeches are just about as antithetical to having a dream as it could get. Just the ramblings of a coot embittered by his lot in life. But for those who’ve found themselves drained of the will to study, much less go to class, Nicodem becomes less of a damned prophet and more of a Savior. The door to a balcony will be unlocked when you really need to sneak a smoke, or you’ll find a conveniently marked path through the steam tunnels to stealth out for a quick snack. Give it enough time, and maybe you’ll find your way to the loading docks, and the bad boy’s paradise it supposedly harbors, free from the eyes of the student council. Maybe even find enough like-minded students to do something about it.

Tara Lathrotep, The Goth

All the world is a bleak, black void, and you’d know it if you’d found one of the many journals of navel gazing poetry scattered around the halls, free for anyone to pick up. Now, while the administration loves to relegate the “low energy student” issues to those unfit for academic rigor, it’s rather hard to deny that Tara Lathrotep just a plain zombie. It would be somewhat hard to hide a gaping hole in your chest, but she doesn’t even seem interested in trying. Just writing bad poetry, wearing all black, and seeking out the skittering little monsters that seem particularly drawn to areas she frequents. Or maybe it’s the other way around. But the moment the money for coffee and pilfered cloves runs out, you could almost time her rush to Wyrd’s bulletin board for an olympic sprinting record.

Molly Lestrange, The unruly Ex

One exception exists to the rule of Shaemus’ Exes becoming Belles of Ill repute around the academy, and that would be an old flame from the Newspaper who tried getting close to write an expose. They lasted the longest out of any of shaemus’ relationships (a shocking 4 weeks) but something about their breakup changed her. Molly quickly tendered her resignation of her seat at the times, wanting to designate her full time to making sure Shaemus knew she could have a life without him. Albus Von Schtook was quickly targeted as a rebound, and his very particular circle of “low energy” friends took to following her around like she’d become queen of the universe. If an LES turf war ever happens, these two will assuredly be behind it.

Kiriai Ankoku, Yandere

Pray you never meet a wallflower of a girl with black hair. Pray that she doesn’t take a shine to you after you offer her an apple, or some other minor trinket of solidarity. Pray that you have the good graces to run before she nervously asks if you’d want to go on a date. If you’d want an exact pinpoint to where you know you’re screwed, it’s when she starts calling you Sempai. No matter how hard you try, how many people you put between the two of you, or even how thoroughly you think you’re hidden, she’ll eventually think you don’t love her any more. And when that happens, when, not if, she’ll snap. And at that point, you’ve got a week, maximum, before little miss hateful darkblack herself goes full arts and crafts on you with a pair of shears she’s stolen from the gardening club, followed by a soul extraction, so your spooky ghost can love her forever.(please note, girls with green hair won’t get the courtesy of the romance period. It’s basically 0 to stab if she sees you)

Reva Brown, the Returned

Getting expelled from malifaux academy is a feat unto itself. Getting re-enrolled is a one time occurrence. Reva Brown, ex darling of the HEMA and equestrian clubs, and “falsified” whistleblower on the zombie apocalypse that Malifaux academy totally  isn’t screaming face first towards, is a miracle on her own. Something about the expulsion changed her. She still participates in her club activities, but she finds students embroiled in honor code violations, and uses her deep-seated knowledge of the annals of MA’s bylaws to spring them out. If nothing else, her acceptance of students both Low Energy and Non into her ranks makes her a bridge between two worlds. Her compatriots are known to spring back from harrowing events on their own, even if the events make them seem a bit… drained.

(Arcanists) The Club Alliance

Those who want a school for the students, by the students

Viktor Ramos, Engineering Club President

Never before has a sophomore gotten pre-emptive acceptance letters from so many Ivy league colleges than Viktor Arturo Ramos, Saint of the Assembly line, and King of Machines. He provides limbs for those who couldn’t dream of affording them otherwise, Helps students struggling with a difficult course, and even assists sections of the Hall monitors that have trouble on their patrols by ramping up automata production. He asks a mere pittance in return; Join a club and follow your dreams. In fact, his saintly behavior earned him an honorary seat on the student council, as official Club emissary. To him, the perfect world would be one in which everyone has their hobby expressed at the school. Another two hours on the day, under his control, and his alone.

Rasputina Boskovnova, Winter Sports Team Captain

You see, when you think of winter sports, you think of fairies dancing on ice. This is simply not true. To fly through the air, to master the snow, what you need is muscle. Muscle that comes from getting plenty of exercise, and eating the right diet. The winter sports team will make sure you do both. Hockey, Snowboarding, Skiing, even fairy ice dancing. We will work you until you can make gravity look like aging babushka, unable to stop your mighty ascent. And you will eat with us. Many servings of grilled meat for energy, and the greatest protein powder man has ever seen, making soylent looking like baby formula! What is in it… Does not matter. Will not get you arrested.

Dr. Ferdinand Markus, Gardening club Sponsor

If you’ve ever wanted to hear a long, rambling dissertation on the nature of Darwin’s theories, how they relate to nature, the school environment, and many aspects of modern social media culture, then join the gardening club. Don’t let the near constant shirtlessness of Professor Markus fool you into thinking he’s anything less than a constant, vociferous tirade waiting to happen. It’s rubbed onto his students in various ways, spending hours in the school’s greenhouse and waxing poetic while trying to prune the half million murderous plants kept there. Join today for a vociferous if not life-threatening experience… maybe in retrospect, this is what drove Kiriai crazy...

Kaeris Smith, Cooking Club President

The tastiest treats in Malifaux academy are made with love and care at the cooking club! Put your skills to the test along with your friends and the angel of Malifaux herself, Kaeris! They even hold contests! And god forbid if you step an inch out of line in the midst of one, or you will be defenestrated from a third floor window with a raucous cry of just what you did wrong, probably being called a donkey while you rethink your life choices on your way to terminal velocity. If you want to call yourself a professional in her kitchen, you better be up to the task of keeping up with a girl who can cook with the flames of her searing hatred. But don’t let the student violently ejected from the door by a fireball and murderous cry of “IT’S FROZEEEN” get you down, the cooking club is fun for everyone!

Colette DuBouis, Drama Club Co-ordinator

The Malifaux Auditorium may have the largest capacity in the entire school, but if you want quality theater, the Star blackbox is where you’re going to want to head. Colette’s crew of Showgirls are constantly practicing the next Revue, Play, or whatever she knows is going to make her and the drama club the talk of the school for the next few weeks. Plus, as long as the costume budget stays topped off, nobody’s going to mind some of the girls skimming off the top for something nice… they’ll use it in a production eventually...

Toni Ironside, Overtaxed Co-ordinator

Keep her form up for Boxing on mondays. Regret picking infinite Jest for Literary on tuesday. Dance line wednesday, bring sweats. Free day thursday, not really, because she’s guaranteed to be fixing ramos’ latest mistake. Make sure Kaeris doesn’t actually kill anyone friday, make extra cornbread. Pray for a slow weekend, and MAYBE you can cool off at TCG night with the boys. Such is life when you’re Toni Ironsides. Everything you do is single-handedly dedicated to making sure Ramos doesn’t screw everything up. It’s no small wonder that people think you’re dumb, the only real path that gives you enough time to relax is straight through everything in your way.

Sandeep Desai, Culture Club President

Sandeep desai is boy of high ambitions. He makes no great effort to fit into the maddening halls of Malifaux Academy, and while that makes him stick out, it makes the draw to his club all the stronger. Sandeep’s goal is one of acceptance in the end, one he seeks to achieve by way of mutual understanding. All cultures are celebrated equally, and when food is to be shared, dishes are encouraged to be brought from home for authenticity. Alright, also because asking Kaeris to cater is like walking into a dynamite factory with a flamethrower. This would all be totally admirable, if sandeep didn’t accept being used like a prop for Ramos’ ends.

(Neverborn) The Preps

The young and restless, who want malifaux on a silver platter.

Lilith Adamswyf, Who everyone wants to be

The hottest clothes, the nicest house, all of daddy’s contacts, and an Instagram account with more followers than the population of Paraguay. Life Being Lilith Adamswyf seems to come without a single trouble. But there are things she doesn’t have. Studying for classes is hard, They won’t let your chef into the cafeteria even if he’s so much better than those dumb lunch ladies, so no hot meals mid day, which totally screws with your paleo. Face it, this school knows who should be ruling it… it’s only a matter of time till more students bend at the knee to your little squad than the student council.

Amelia Pandora, Lead Cheerleader

Pandora can rally up  a crowd like nobody else, or put on a set of puppy dog eyes that would make the most stone faced Death Marshal cry for her. Boys line up to be knocked down, and she know that when the time is right, her little sister Candi will be the same way. Of course she’s BFFs forever with Lily, and only the most deserving of the student body gets her Telegram handle… but if she asks something of you, make sure you respond in turn, or you’ll wish you could put the lid back on, because you’ll know what hatred means.

Zorida, Head....Something

She’s head of the Cafeteria, right? Or wait, was that someone else, the lunch ladies all start looking the same after a while. No, wait, she has to be head of the library. She’s at both locations behind the counter all the time, and she’s always talking with students. Or maybe she just volunteers there… She manages one of the coffee shops in the shopping district maybe? Nobody agrees on what Zorida does, who she is, or where she works. But there’s one thing everyone knows. If she tells you about an omen, you better be watching like a hawk, because missing it could be a death sentence, literally or figuratively.

Ben Thompson, Dream Student

While most of the younger dream program students had a hard time adapting, one young Benjamin Thompson was quickly snapped up by the most popular group of students at the school. It’s almost as if he’s their mascot, his rather excitable tendencies indulged, and though questionable, his love of coffee is honored just as frequently. He’d be a total success story, if it weren’t for the fact that the rumors of monstrous figures surrounding the Preps seemed to move double time around him. He seems cool with it though, and will totally set you up for a meeting with one mr “chompy bits” if you’re up to play

Nicolai Colodious, Legacy Student

Nicolai Colodious is a junior at Malifaux Academy, and has been since the breach closed. Of course, you’d have to read the old rosters to know that. Otherwise, he seems just as personable as any other student, and his family’s old estate still stands near one of the edges of the ramrod complex. He considers himself a master manipulator and Socialite, pulling the strings of the social world to make sure things happen to his speculation. He considers his artificial limbs a non-issue, keeping Jacob Lynch in close contact for the most fashionable trends in augmentation money can buy. And if you meet him in person, not a single thing seems artificial about his charm. He’s not the one with strings to hold him down.

Titania Caldefwich, Self-appointed Queen

A particular relationship exists in high-school socialization that hadn’t been seen since the days of the European noble court. One of mutual hatred coated gently in a sugary glaze of friendship, so that the Silettos could easily be mistaken for Stilettos. Titania and Lilith’s relationship is just that. Each sees herself as the Mean Girl in charge of the popular kids, and the other as a tawdry usurper. But whereas Lilith’s private bonds are more fanatical, hers are more cultivated. Her little court is bound to her every whim, making moves in her stead in the high stakes game of chess that is high school drama.

(Outcasts) The Wyrdos

Friends of a certain little store...

Gustav Von Schill, Mercenary Captain

“No, your eyes aren’t lying to you. Yes, there are monsters at malifaux academy. Yes, they’re only the tip of a crazy iceberg. And no, if you stick to the main halls, you probably won’t need our services. But one thing you need to keep in mind is that we’re not cheap, because where the Council has a promise, We have a guarantee. Net Course mean we don’t have classes to miss, so we’ll get you to yours” Such is the rehearsed speech of Gustav Von Schill, given to many a student asking for help with one issue or another. The fight that got the freikorps to where they are turned his hair white at the tender age of 15, but somehow, that doesn’t matter all too much in the face of having a hold on the largest paramilitary in the entirety of Malifaux academy. What student outside the council has his own secretary? How many of them have their own robot? None. And that’s why he loves his job.

Seras & Leona Viktoria, The Twins

If Seras and Leo didn’t have individual preferences for the weapons they carried when they go adventuring through the deepest, darkest parts of Malifaux Academy, nobody would even be able to tell them apart. They seek one thing, and that’s to learn enough about the school’s layout to be able to sell maps to the Council. They do take other jobs for coin, and have solved more than a few issues on behalf of interested parties, but that’s what their other “sisters” are for. They just want to look for what they know is out there, and pick up some dosh along the way.

Jack Daw, School Mascot

The malifaux hanged man himself, only he’s not usually too heavy into doing flips when it’s not time for a football game. The student that portrays jack somehow took to never taking off the costume, preferring to leave it on for coursework. It was about after the fifth teacher disappearance that they stopped asking him to take it off. JD’s stunts are legendary, but so is his wrath. Don’t cross him, or anyone within earshot. Because once he’s decided you’re guilty, you’ll pay the price.

Hamelin, Nihilist

Not much is known about hamelin, because nobody really seems to care. He seems to love screwing with dream program students. He talks with a thick German accent. He believes in Nothing. He is waaaaay too into rats. Has threatened to cut off the “Chonson” of several students. Screws with one particularly unlucky stoner student and his friends in the bowling club. You know what they say about nihilists man...

Leveticus Schaumburg, The Connection

There is a student commissary, where you can restock on paper, pencils, and all of your school supply needs. And you only go there if you’re a complete moron. Anyone in real need of something goes to Captivating Salvage and Logistics, an unofficial store run out of a lower, arguably not too dangerous floor of the old dorms. Leveticus will have what you need if it can be gotten, for the simple fact that he always seems to be two steps ahead of the curve, possibly the result of his talks with Zorida. If you want to start digging deeper into the history of the academy, Leveticus isn’t the best place to start, he’s the only place.

Parker Barrows, Rabblerouser

Not many members of Malifaux Academy have served a stint in Juvie, Much less the four Parker has, but the Alabama Juvenile correctional system also had a rather stark realization. Parker was the only inmate beleaguering the guards with Polysyllabic verbiage. So they figured they’d send him to a the only place in the world with a more ironclad grip on their children than them. So far in his tenure, the young mister barrows has already made himself a scholarship-tier bounty, started one of the most ruthlessly efficient gangs in the school’s history, and pulled off (assumedly) more heists in the surrounding neighborhood than any other group, if it could only be pinned on them. Parker, needless to say, Appreciates the transfer.

(Grems) The Prodigies

The Dream Program, an advanced education initiative for promising youngsters, turns into a nightmare.

Sommer Jones, Separated Troublemaker

If anyone was good at whipping the Dream students into a frenzy, it was the monolithic personality that was Sommer Jones. He knew exactly how far a can of soda could carry him, and used that knowledge to build himself a fierce loyalty among his followers. He always knows someone that knows to other people, and when he needs something done, a small legion of ankle biters is at his beck and call.

Ophelia Lacroix, Greatest Admirer

Ophelia wants to be Perdita Ortega. She got her twin Hammerblasts modified to hell and back so they could shoot just like perditas. She trained her somewhat large family to move in as close to a formation they could manage to the Ortegas. She even started branching out and seeing which one of her family members would be most interested in trying to copy the resume of other prominent figures. Perdita knows Exactly one thing about Ophelia: The little twit stole her hat, and she’s going to pay.

Daniel Muldeen, Brewmaster

Daniel was a star chemistry student earthside, so it was only natural that he ended up qualifying for the dream program to study as a junior student at Malifaux Academy. The boy always had a sweet tooth, so he mostly used his knowledge to brew new and weird kinds of soda. Then some nice girl with kitty ears gives her a huge book of recipes, and just asks for some chemicals to be synthesized in return? Malifaux was turning out to be a better place than he imagined! Largely, The brewmaster as he’s now called uses his friends and a few strategically made constructs to get his sodas, chemicals, and whatever else to where they need to go. He’s even tried infusing them with magic, which has led to… interesting results to say the least.

Jinny “Ma” Tucket, Princess of the kitchen

Of all the things people expected, Kaeris taking on a Dream student as a Protegee was about the last. Her “Favorite spoon” was almost comically large, and her relatively close friend group seemed antithetical to the firebrand that was Kaeris. She liked recipes far simpler than Kaeris’ chosen masterpieces. It was a mystery, until someone burned a pot of beans in her presence. One case of assault and battery with a kitchen utensil later, and it all made sense.

Odysseus Ulix, Young Stitcher

Odysseus Ulix likes to sew. He likes to sew quite a bit in fact, and does so with incredible efficiency. It’s a rare day that his room doesn’t have some new plush for him to go to sleep with, or a gift for another student in the dream program whose first time it is away from home. They can be cartoony, Lifelike, or some point between the two. In fact, his plushies have been so vivacious as of late, they’ve began to walk around of their own accord. Not to worry though, he may have a bad leg, but he can still ride luna to help him catch any escapees.

Leon Wong, Showstopper

Leon’s story is one of simplicity as much as it is direct. On the train to malifaux, his hobby bag, originally filled with stage magic props, somehow got infested with other-dimensional demons that taught him magic of the non-stage variety. He still loves putting on shows, promoted by close friend Burt Jebsen, and with assistants chosen from fellow classmates. He had to start hosting them in the park as opposed to theaters, apparently the Council doesn’t take too kindly to starting fires.

Nick “Zapp” Turner, Compulsive Inventor

Nick was another clear shot for the dream program. As someone who’d been immersed in the cutting edge of engineering science from birth, the boy had an almost primal compulsion to see if he could take things apart and put them back together again. Then he’d challenge himself to see if he could do it better than it was originally. By the time his talent was noticed and he was headed to learn at Malifaux Academy, he could make foam darts out speed Railgun projectiles. Really, the airship and jetpack were just par for the course.

(TT) The Shadow Brokers

Weeaboos with a shady mission, and it's not just to be Hokage...

Misaki Katanaka, president of the “Japanese animation appreciation” club

Malifaux academy doesn’t have a school uniform. Common decency generally prevents someone from going Nya after more than one sentence. And admittedly, while those robotic kitty ears are cool in theory, having a pair of giant emotion telegraphs on your head are a bad idea. Literally none of this has stopped Misaki Katanaka. She heads the more obnoxious of Malifaux Academy’s two anime clubs, and the visibility is thanks to her father’s unrelenting praise and sponsorship. She’s more than a bit excited whenever she gets to hook up a new Nakama with some hot gear, because she knows the power of friendship. And how to turn someone into sashimi with a polearm if they break their end of a bargain.  That helps too.

Mei Feng, Robotics Club President

Mei was never one to mince words, and while she will begrudgingly admit that Misaki is somewhat cute when she doesn’t want to strangle her until the cat ears pop off, she is utterly clear in her motives. The robotics club is her own. She does what she does to advance the science of prosthesis for those unfortunate enough not to have a choice. She’d rather not compete in a sport despite her martial aptitude because it would take time out of her schedule that other people deserve more than she deserves glory. She answers to both Misaki and Ramos, but when they both leave her to her own devices, her inferiors know she answers to their devotion in her workshop, nicknamed the Foundry. They know she has a plan, and they want to see it through.

Jacob Lynch, Dealer with a full hand

The prospect of a card game with a virtual reality component already sounds tempting, but when you’re a top-tier player by the name of Jacob Lynch, you’re going to be going all in until you have eye strain from the VR system. You could already win games with your eyes closed, so keeping in the money to keep playing should be simple right? But then your deck keeps bricking, and you keep making bad calls on other player’s games, and eventually, the pair of crazies that run the establishment are breathing down your neck to pay them back. Then some Nutcase with cat ears bails you out entirely and buys it out in your name, as long as you start peddling her supposedly delicious snack food. Whatever, you don’t touch the stuff, and you’ve got a VR system of your own now to take your Pistoleiro Shrimps deck on the road.

Yan Lo, Generational Student

Yan is a student expected to succeed where every single member of his family up to him has failed. His older brother Izamu committed suicide from shame after dropping out of the initial class. Toshiro, Yin, and Chiyaki all were lost when the breach swallowed their class, and now he’s got their legacies to singlehandedly live up to, even after a bad case of Lethargy starts to kick in. his one lucky break is that he seems to be able to call them back for a little bit of help, even if it means going back to the hoakey rituals his hyper-traditionalist parents taught him. Really, all he wants to do is watch Anime and chill, apparently too much to ask from a place like this.

Lucas McCabe, Serial Adventurer

Lucas’ story is one of an incredibly bizzare loyalty split. Originally, his calling was to the Student Council, his sentenced to detention removed by none other than Lucius Matheson, who wanted him to do what he was already doing, but on a council bankroll. This was all well and good until a trek up to one of the dorms revealed a hidden operation of the Thunders, leaving everyone but him dead. Now he’s in a back and forth split, trying to serve Lucius and Misaki, while doing his best to make them run headlong into one another, and leave him be long enough to pull of a new expedition. The boy has always had more pulp novels than sense.

Jacob Shenlong, Karate team captain

The sports complex has always been known as a somewhat dangerous place between the halls, but once one gets into a room it seems to be relatively safe. Unfortunately, Jacob Shender’s quest to find an area to make into a Dojo to start a Karate club got him exactly what he wished for… unfortunately, the space was also some long-forgotten meditative temple, so it also had the side effect of violently merging his soul with an ancient Draconic sass machine. With a new moniker, Jacob Shenlong enlisted the help of Misaki to help him solve his predicament, on the stipulation that he train initiates in the meantime. The dragon is pleased. Jacob usually isn’t.

Asami Tanaka, Horror movie Fanatic

Asami doesn’t Dislike every anime the club shows, but it’s usually only around halloween that they start filtering out the garbage and get to the good stuff. Maybe it’s fitting that she looks like something out a studio toho production, because horror is her bread and butter. She tried starting a horror club, but most of the students ended up dropping after one meeting. Perhaps Audition was more of a meeting three movie. No matter, most of the club members leave her alone, which means she has more room to practice her art, and watch just how the demons in her favorite movies show up so she can snag a couple.

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Areas of Interest


The Automat

The cafeteria in Malifaux is a just like any other cafeteria in a school; a place of petty politicking and more drama than a Shakespeare omnibus. The only reason it’s free from violent conflict (usually) is because it’s patrolled heavily by the student council’s various branches, nearly as heavily as the Administrative wing itself. Still though, some prisons have riots, and even the cafeteria has fights with more than just food, from the restaurants and food lines to the tables.

This leaves issues. Those on the bad side of the student council can have a hard time taking their mid-day meals, as that would require getting in and out without notice. Some students might not even have a stomach for the conflicts of the school, and the wide expanse of the cafeteria proper leaves little room to hide. Some students simply can’t stand the crowd. Luckily, at the promenade north of the cafeteria, a solution exists for those who don’t mind the slight buzz of neon.

The automat is one of the most eerily symmetrical places in the entirety of malifaux academy. Each of it’s four walls have twenty vending machines, stocked by companies wishing to endear themselves to the world’s next set of movers and shakers. Each of it’s twenty tables has four chairs, spaced to allow students to move effortlessly through the room, even when full to capacity. It’s floor tiles even give a subtle guideline to where things should be placed, should the need arise to move them.

It is an unwritten agreement that the Automat is a place of Rest in a school of action. No business is conducted there, Homework is to be kept to a minimum, and absolutely no hostility is to be shown within it’s confines. Those that break the rules will find the machines ready to eat whatever money is put into them, or all chairs occupied despite the time of day.

Later at night, the automat is kept open, mostly to give the night patrols a place to rest and refuel. Even at late hours however, the Armistice is still mostly in effect. The Automat will allow students to plan and prepare for activities to be done in dangerous areas within its confines, but the moment they officially begin, they must leave the automat, and any night patrol are to remain mum about their departure.

After all, it is best not to lock yourself out of a singular place of refuge.

The Library

Books are an integral part to education, even in a place as advanced as Malifaux academy. This is possibly why the officially acknowledged floor plan of the MA library covers the area of a football field. The shelves seem to be utterly complete, covering some volumes considered lost to history, and others that were thought to be either impossibly rare, or with every volume accounted for in private collections. There are even a few books that shouldn’t exist.

Alright, maybe more than a few that shouldn’t.

The Library by no means stops at the boundaries of the map, that’s simply to indicate the size of the curated area the librarian has to actually care about. It sprawls outward for some distance, with reports of facilities like Orrerys and Lecture pits at deeper points in the archives. It is also in this lawless area that grimoires start to pop up, describing magical methodologies that can do nearly anything, but which are always a surprise to read through.

Some who get lost in the library never return, while others can seem to pop out in the most random of places, from the Automat to the vice principal's office with no real rhyme or reason.  It’s even been recorded that some students have traveled dimensionally, emerging in an earth-side library.

The Club Wings

The clubs of malifaux academy are nearly countless and diverse, but their primary commonality is that they share their bases of operation in the easternmost and westernmost wings of the school, known to students as the club wings. The density is only due to the wild variance of the rooms, which are only useful to a small number of classes , but can be used by any number of clubs. It contains plenty of workshops, black box theaters, greenhouses, and even slightly more off putting rooms like surgical theaters.

The two club wings are about equal in general size, bu are quite different. The east wing has several major rooms, like the Star theater, but not many given that each one is liable to take up a huge amount of space. The western rooms, while they do have a sprinkling of major rooms like the greenhouse forest, are considered the small time of the club wing. This is where more eclectic (or shadier) clubs tend to be held, often away from the prying eyes of the student council

The Administrative wing

Serving no real academic purpose, this is the seat of power in Malifaux academy. The actual space the school officials take up is a minimal space nicknamed the mansion. The rest of the wing however, is filled with the scramble needed to keep the Student council a relevant entity. This is where the main council chambers, detention halls, and even the surprisingly unsubtle “student retention and monitoring center” are located.

If the student council needs to retain control of at least one portion of the academy, their own front door qualifies. Thusly, the north wing is a hive of activity, swarming with council certified monitors and constructs. In the council’s mind it’s clear as day; if the Administrative wing falls, every room in Malifaux academy comes down with it.

It’s generally advisable that a student avoid this wing as much as possible. If impossible, then it would be obvious that getting the business that brings them there finished should be a top priority.

The Loading Docks

Malifaux high still requires shipments from earth on certain days, and those are unloaded on the strangely-tiered sections at the back of the school. The entire area looks like one of MC Escher’s fever dreams for a reason, though that reason is unclear. Originally, there was a singular concrete plinth in the road that made parking in the docks clear cut, but inconvenient. It was demolished in short order, but the next day, two identical replicas of the plinth appeared. This marked the beginning of a cat and mouse game that slowly mutated the docks into a confusing mess of roadway and physical space that, at times, included some form of ground-based canal.

By the time the student council simply gave up on controlling the bizarre shape of the area, it had twisted into a nightmare of asphalt and stairwells, but one that still must be utilized to bring the school it’s now weekly delivery. Between those deliveries though, the loading docks are one of the few areas of the school left unpatrolled, simply due to the bizarre geometry and winding pathways. It’s rumored that the straw that finally broke the camel’s back was a monitor somehow falling up a flight of stairs.

This relative lack of patrolling has made it one of the hottest places to hang out for students with a general sense of contempt for the council. It’s no great secret that the loading docks harbor the kind of MA student whose capture would get the arresting individual a flawless record for the remainder of the year. It’s also well known however, that the punks look out for their own, and trying to flaunt around the loading docks like you own the place is very much likely to get you killed, and possibly raised as one of the punk’s growing number of followers.

The Sports Complex

Malifaux academy is not simply a place of learning, it is also a place where a star athlete in training can easily come into their prime. That feat is very probably going to be achieved in a run-down bathroom injecting creatine, but in the meantime, the MA sports complex is there to help inflate the egos of student athletes to carry them through endorsement deals to come.

Seeing as traveling through the breach can have unexpected consequences for individuals, Malifaux academy has at least three teams for any sport they participate in, with the huge “Sportatorium Maximus” housing the needed facilities for everything, and only a fraction of a fraction needed for gym classes.

The issue presented here is just how cavernous the inside of the place actually is. It’s not uncommon for students to try finding a more obscure corner of the facility like the fencing room, and not emerge from the building for days or weeks, if they manage to return at all.

The Steam tunnels

Any sufficiently large building, or complex thereof, has some sort of groundwork underneath to keep it connected to services like water, gas, and electricity. When this needs to be worked on frequently, it’s not uncommon for it to be built in an open or tunnel like structure. This is basic information known by any urban planner, and it’s generally a good idea to keep them neatly laid out under any city. Malifaux Academy, basically being a small city, has such steam tunnels. Malifaux academy being the horrorshow that it is, meant whoever, or whatever, was rarely one for good ideas.

The steam tunnels are a spiderweb of empty spaces under malifaux academy, to put it in the most basic of terms. Getting past that are the questions that even the student council have about them, which include but certainly are not limited to; How deep do they go? What is the purpose of some of the larger rooms that branch off of from the main path? Where do they lead? Does anyone even have a complete map of the stupid things, or are we going to have to keep sending the patrols we don’t like down there in the vain hope that just one of them comes back with a proper cartographic report?

Seeing as they are the summary of the two things that the student council hates the most, namely a lack of control and an unknown factor, they are strictly off limits. Anything seen in the tunnels, student or not, are to be shot on sight by the occasional patrols sent through the area. Exceptions are never given without escorts, if the student council even wants to acknowledge they exist in the first place.

The Old dorms

Before the town around malifaux city sprang into existence when the breach re-opened, the area surrounding the academy was a rolling sea of trees. Students looking for accommodations had to stay in one of the towering dormitory complexes that still block out parts of the horizon to this day. They are unoccupied, but on rare occasion, lights can be seen from some windows.

The students staying in those dorms are long gone, but evidence of their presence was entirely undisturbed, as if it had somehow been preserved to be found by the next generation to enter the academy. After a spate of disappearances around the area, plans to refurbish and re-open the dorms were scuttled, and the areas were quickly declared as forbidden areas. While students usually take the actions of the council with a grain or fifty of salt, this could be seen as one of the few times they are absolutely in the right.

Rumors circulate in Malifaux academy, of monster attacks occurring after official school hours at the most random of areas throughout the school. While this is true, it seems as if the old dorms got the memo, but didn’t read through the whole thing. Monsters can be seen stalking the flickering, poorly lit corridors of the dorms at all hours, forcing the student council to essentially put it under quarantine. It is more important that nothing get out than concerns over things getting in.

Unlike other areas though, it has more than enough reason to be targeted by adventure seekers. It was well known to have relatively people picking through it, and a seemingly endless number of them to look through for treasure. After all, what now takes up an entire city was once stuffed into these towers, and the stories of graduates describing some truly wondrous items quite simply haven’t been found yet. Then again, there’s also the rumor that former residents yet stalk the halls.

Conference Room 203

Floor 20, Northwestern dormitory tower, slightly to the left of the chimera den. You can’t miss it. It’s the only door that looks like it hasn’t been beaten down.

The student council is often loathe to admit that things like student led militias exist in Malifaux academy, but they can’t deny the need for even more security than they can often provide, given the student propensity for stopping world-destroying plots from coming to fruition. They are all condemned, with one very notable exception.

The Freikorps is fixture of the Malifaux Academy political ecosystem. One would normally expect the base of such an organization to be a place of constant conflict given their outright stated purpose of interference, but it’s possibly the second most peaceful place in all of the academy, maybe even the plane.

Conference room 203 is named after the entrance, as it took over the entirety of the floor outside of a small area that allows access to the adjoining levels. It is the barracks, training facility, and recreational center of the freikorps, and the one place in the old dorms anyone might want to sleep. Director Von Schill looks after his mercenary family, and as it stands, Room 203 is second only to the automat as a place  student could let their guard down.


Latigo Acres Condos

With so many Ortegas attending Malifaux Academy, it’s often questioned where they all come from. As it turns out, Self-Appointed PTA leader Abuela Ortega managed quite the property deal with an Ex-landowner, buying out nearly every single reasonably sized condo in the city surrounding the academy.

“Latigo enterprises” being the stamp at the bottom of nearly every rent bill in malifaux city might make some think the family would be set up in one of the mansions at the edge of the city. Abuela, however, has simpler tastes than that. Latigo Acres might seem like the lowest quality condos out of the whole selection, but the small tracts of agrarian land replacing normally green spaces are a touch specifically ordered by the Ortega matriarch herself. Without it, she feels, she would lose sight of where she came from, and lose the business acumen that got her this high on the hog in the first place.

It might also make the small arsenal stored across the complex for “pest control” look even more suspicious if it was gone.

Ramrod Estates

If you’re anyone who’s anyone in Malifaux Academy, you clearly have to have the life to match the pomp-and-circumstance you have at school. You have to have the Nicest clothes, the Newest phone, and of course, you’re living at Ramrod Estates, the hottest gated community in all of Malifaux City.

Not many people care that the majority of the houses in this Hyper-isolationist gated community are eye-gougingly terrible McMansions that look like they were hastily erected to cater to idiots with too much money. That’s just objective fact, and pointing it out is ultimately moot. What people do care about is that nearly anything associated with the area ends up being a near-instant status booster. Walk into school with a cup from the Bleeding Bean, and it doesn’t matter if you live there or not, suddenly you’re cock of the walk, and nobody can say otherwise.

The entire area is one of image. You go to ramrod estates to be seen. If you’re not vomiting pictures of your activity onto your social network, you’re wasting your time. Just don’t get so caught up taking poolside pictures that you get nabbed by security.

The Malifaux City Public Library

Not all the knowledge in Malifaux city is stuffed into its titular academy. Malifaux City’s public library is a haven of education for anyone who would need a quiet place to study with others. Its rows of shelves are just about as winding as the layout of the school’s collection. The locations share a lot more than layout, as it seems. They have a joint volume programs that allow someone to drop off a rental from one at the other. They have the same incredibly ugly pattern of carpet. They also seem to have the same librarians…

It’s a long-standing rumor that Library card holders have entered the school library, and exited the public library after navigating the winding labyrinth of shelves. Nobody quite knows the methodology of how it works, but there are several students who rely on the fact that this isn’t a myth. Methodologies for traversing the “space between the Lions” are mixed, but those with an eye for detail can use the libraries as an entrance for the school that aren’t nearly as guarded as the outgoing doors.

Just don’t move with haste. One wrong turn, and you could end up finding something that you shouldn’t have seen

Bunny’s Mega Imports

Do you like the hottest Anime? The Cutting edge of Comics, Video Games, and everything nerd? Then your home in malifaux is Bunny’s Mega Imports! We’ve got what it takes so satisfy your thirst for geek culture. Check out our Arcade with Free-play fridays, or our huge selection of imported snacks from the land of the rising sun. We even have all the gear you need to show off your otaku pride. Get your game on at Bunny’s Mega Imports, Located on 7th and Ridley, and Opening a New location in Twisting Acres Mall. Official Sponsor of the Malifaux Academy Japanese Animation Appreciation Club.

Baojun Katanaka is quite the imperious businessman as it would seem. He singlehandedly vacuums up a good percentage of the Malifaux Academy Student body’s pocket money. He even has a daughter on the honor roll, with her very own club. This man seems to have everything he wants in life, yet he doesn’t seem to crave a position on the Academy’s PTA, about the highest position of status you can achieve in the city without being a member of the Institute or attending school.

Baojun doesn’t want to have a say in Academy Affairs, he wants to own it, even if it doesn’t have his name on the Placard. His daughter’s little club is his pet project, unofficial meetings of the club acting to advance his control over the student body. To what end, nobody knows. Perhaps one day, the Triads, or possibly the Yakuza will come rolling through to seize control. Or maybe he plans to install his daughter as principal, and wrest control from the Institute. Until his plans come to fruition though, he seems to simply be manipulating a bunch of weeaboos to shadowy ends.

Twisting Acres Mall

In a place where disposable income is the norm, A mall is destined to be a financial venture with bank-level security. Twisting Acres manages to fill it’s purpose as a Social hub perfectly, or at least the food court does. As for the rest of the mall, the name begins to make sense the longer you browse. Each hall in the mall seems to almost fold in on itself, as if by some logical end point to the theories of Victor Guren.

One generally theorizes that with how often the mall expands, you’d be able to find anything if you looked hard enough. One would take great care however, not to get lost. There are malls on earth that seem to trap you with forced perspective, in such an odd place as Malifaux, that entrapment could risk becoming literal.

Breach Park

The most obvious place for a park, right next to a gaping hellmouth! In all reality, the flat, open area surrounding the breach was beginning to look a hair run down. Looking to brighten the place up, in a Joint decision between the Student Council, PTA, and surprisingly the Institute, the area was designated as breach park, and all due resources were allocated for the sake of maintenance.

Large portions of the area are considered to be under the control of the tykes that make up the majority of the advanced study programs, making it a somewhat dangerous place to be outside of the designated picnic areas. Individuals like Sommer Jones are blatantly Ageist, and you don’t know how heavily that dart gun’s been modified until it’s being fired at you. Luckily, a bag of candy is generally enough to get you through unscathed, unless you veer to close to one of the many, spawling jungle gyms.

Inglewood Cemetery.

Like… the cool thing about hanging out in a cemetery man… hear me out… the cool thing man, is that you’re like… gonna be there anyways… so why not get the time in now knowing your neighbors…


This is where those who unfortunately lost their lives at malifaux academy have been buried, and it’s size is an unfortunate blemish on the student council’s record. A large Mausoleum and Monument exists to memorialize those lost in the first shutting of the breach, acting as the centerpiece for this morbid landscape. Generally though, this isn’t a place to rest in piece, and while rumors of catacombs are largely irrelevant, the student council would definitely like to know why the local crowd of punks seems to be drawn here so much. They’d also like to know the source of the pervasive whispering that seems to infest the cemetery, but that’s a secret Malifaux wants to keep.

Robert Lynch’s Limbatorium

Losing an arm isn’t as much of an inconvenience as it once was, and Malifaux City’s one and only Certified L.I.M.B. dealer uses technology home grown at the academy atop the hill. Granted, the prices can be a bit steep, but all packages sold here come with full maintenance deals, and a surprising amount of silence when it comes to any sort of aftermarket modifications that may or may not be necessary to survive the academy.  

It’s no wonder Robert’s son Jacob got into so much debt, he was used to having deep pockets to begin  with.

Wyrd Games

Bunny’s isn’t the only Game store in malifaux city, though it certainly loves to pretend like it is. There exists a place where the Drafts are friendlier, the Shelves are stocked for miles decades of RPG source books, and they even like to test out this weird in-house card-based skirmish game in some sort of alternate steampunk universe where the breach opened someplace else. It’s pretty cool.

The only really phenomenal thing outside the jaw-droppingly nice staff, or that they haven’t banned the tall kid who keeps dropping off arguably tested homebrew content is that their Tasks bulletin board is possibly the best updated in all of malifaux city, to the point where it’s visited by names like Von Schill, Leveticus and the Viktoria sisters. Constantly curated to assure relevance, It’s updated hourly, even when something occurs that they should by no means know about. They just seem to like staying one step ahead of the curve. Or maybe Aaron, Mason and Company are just Demigods. Nobody really knows.

*That* Sillby’s.

Every town has a restaurant that somehow stays open despite the fact that nobody is ever seen there. In this case it’s not a McCallahan, or a Burger Prince like in so many cities, but a very particular branch of Roast beef peddler Sillby’s. Maybe it’s that the pony sauce is occasionally just blood, or the staff having vacant eyes as if staring into the dark abyss of an unfathomable future brought about by things that should be known. Probably though, it’s the swirling cloud of who knows what, that just seems to like hovering over the place, glowing impossible colors. Kinda puts a damper on business.


And with this, I retire to rest. I await my Entirely Justified ban from the forums Accolades in the morning.

If anyone uses this as an actual setting for a campaign, I wish to know.

if for no other reason than I want to know how many times I need to apologize to mason for birthing this abomination.

if anyone seriously wants content, I'll update, but other than that, expect this thread to go ignored until next year, if i don't think of something dumber by then

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