The Grue Posted August 16, 2015 Report Share Posted August 16, 2015 Well, my story seems to be the only one deleted so I will repost it here. As always comments and criticism (either negative or positive) are asked for and appreciated. Mr. Frumpykins ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Mr. Frumpykins is too real!” Mina was up on her toes. She was a full six inches shorter than Bobby Ray, and even stretching she was barely able to reach his chin, let alone stare him in the eyes. He was wearing that stupid smirk of his and she wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his stupid face. “Well, if he is so real why has none of us seen him then,” Bobby said smugly, motioning to the other children surrounding them. “Ain’t nobody seen him ‘cept you, and I’mma callin’ you a liar.” She could feel her face getting red, her lips curled downward in a scowl that pulled at her cheeks. She wanted to punch him square in the nose, but momma said twasn’t lady-like for little girls to go ‘round punching folk. “He only shows up to the naughtiest of the naughty Bobby. You keep it up and he’s gonna show, and then he’s gonna eat you.” She felt better at the small twinge of fear that flashed across his face. Real or not, Mr. Frumpykins wasn’t the only thing that had a habit of eating folk here in Malifaux. Everyone knew it was only a matter of time ‘fore something crawled through a window late at night and made a snack of them. Bobby had heard enough apparently and the fear subsided long enough for him to punch her dead in the nose. She had enough sense to close her eyes first. She tried to bring her arms up to stop him, the way she tried to when Daddy got drunk and got his belt out, but just like with Daddy her little arms didn’t protect her much. She went down hard into the dust of the schoolyard and found herself trying to bite back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. The other children were laughing and pointing. Her face went a shade darker which made her all the more embarrassed. She let herself have a moment, sobbing and bubbling in the dust before her grief turned to youthful rage and she looked up to Bobby and the rest of the assembled children. “I hope Mr. Frumpykins teaches you all a lesson, especially you Bobby Ray. You’re gonna piss your britches when he comes for you!” All she remembers after her little tirade of bravado is the short silence from the other children then Bobby’s muddy boot stomping down towards her face. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The doctor had come and stitched up Mina’s face and she was sent home. Bobby had watched her go with a smile on his face. It would be a while before any of the other children dared to stand up to him again. No one saw the dark figure peering out of the gutter on the street outside of the school yard. It watched the children take their fun out on Mina, saw the doctor come and go, watched Mina stumble home sobbing softly to herself, and turned its burning red eyes towards the remaining children as they were let out at day’s end. It focused on one boy in particular, a bit taller than the rest. Bobby Ray she had said and it had heard. It took a breath. This one smelled of fear. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bobby took the same route home from school as he usually did, after a quick stop to pilfer some sweets from the corner store while the shopkeep was distracted filling out his mother’s grocery list. He didn’t care, he got what he wanted like he usually did. He had turned down the final road that would lead him to the run down house on the end of the row that he shared with his Mother, kicking a tin can that someone had left lying in the street. He finished his lollie and tossed the stick in the dirt while he gave the can one final kick sending it soaring towards the gutter on the edge of the street. It was a perfect shot and one that was too tempting to resist. Someone had foolishly left the grate open and he wanted to hear the tin bounce and rattle on its way down. The tin can clanged off of the up-turned grate and fell down into the darkness of the sewer. He heard it clang, once, twice, followed by a splash as it reached bottom. He pumped his fist into the air and smiled to himself. He swung his mother’s bag of groceries over his shoulder and started off when he noticed a shadow overtake him. A moment’s dread flooded him as his mind raced. Not many who walked these streets after dark were the kind you wanted to meet and he was usually home well before the sun set. He mustered his courage and turned around to face his pursuer. Bobby saw a mad in an oversized trench coat wobble towards him. It was strange, he thought, he had not heard him coming and didn’t remember seeing anyone else on the street as he rounded the corner. “Wh…What do you want Mister?” Bobby said with as much nonchalance as he could bring himself to bear. The man didn’t respond and when the silence grew too long and the man didn’t stop moving towards him Bobby was going to bring himself to make a threat before running off. Something about the man’s cloak kept him frozen in place. It wriggled and moved, seemingly of its own accord but it stopped when the man was standing directly in front of him. He tried to see the man’s face but it was hidden by the shadows of the setting sun. The man’s trench coat opened in a flash and Bobby’s hand dropped the bag as he tried to scream. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I just don’t get it Cap. It’s been days and all’s we got to show for it is half a dozen missing kids and no leads to go on.” The guild guard name Roy was prattling on about disappearances of missing kids in a slum district but Captain Griswalde wasn’t really paying attention. “When you find the bodies or the bodies find you let me know Guardsman, until then it is not my concern.” She retorted over her shoulder. She was tasked with taking down the things that were below the higher Guild officers, and the ones that were out of their domains of expertise, not run all over town searching for some missing brats. If it were Resurrectionist’s there would be zombies or stitched monstrosities. The Neverborn would’ve left bits of corpses, and whatever the hell was ripping the guardsmen apart on the lower east side near the old fairgrounds would’ve left those confusing little footprints. Too small to be a child but close, but the shapes of the footprints were wrong, too angled and not round enough. She ran the numbers in her head and decided it was not worth her time of her meager budget. She realized that the Guardsman had left midway through her train of thought and she almost had it in her mind to go after him and teach him a lesson, but then she found the bottle she was looking for, brought it up to her mouth and bit down on the cork. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mina was scared. Mr Frumpykins had come to her in the middle of the night. He had been outside of her window and when she opened it he crawled in. She could hear her daddy stumbling through the house, the empty bottles rattling on the floor boards as he searched for something to drown his sorrows. He was getting close to her room and she looked up to Mr. Frumpykins with a sad look on her face. Mr. Frumpykins looked down at her and then hobbled to the door. She didn’t see him reach for the knob, his sleeve never moved, but the door swung open and Mr. Frumpykins wobbled out into the hallway. She heard her Daddy curse in surprise and listened as his curse sputtered into what sounded like a hundred small shrieks. Mr. Frumpykins had led her out of the house, past the wet spot on the hallway floor where she figured Mr. Frumpykins had ran into her Daddy. She didn’t see him though. People must’ve looked out when they heard the screaming but no one was foolish enough to come and investigate so they were mostly able to slowly move through the streets unhindered. They had been moving for a few hours now and they were in a part of the city that she didn’t recognize when Mr. Frumpykins stopped. She wasn't paying attention so she looked ahead to see what he was looking at. She had heard stories of the Great Breach, the one that people came from and lucky few went back through. It had never been from up close like this but she knew that this was different. It was smaller than the big breach in Malifaux, more of the size of a large door, whereas the other was large enough that they had a train run through it. She didn’t know there were any others and she was frightened. “I’m scared Mr. Frumpykins, I just want you to take me away from here, somewhere everyone is nice and no one tries to hurt you or calls you names. Just tell me everything is going to be alright.” She looked up to Mr. Frumpykins but he just looked down at her in silence. This was going to be the start of her new life she thought, just her and Mr. Frumpykins. She hugged him tightly and smiled to herself. A rat fell onto her head and bit her ear. She yelped and shook it off and it fell to the street below. She thought it would scamper off but instead it ran right under the bottom of Mr. Frumpykins cloak. She was confused. She looked up to him and was about to ask him why he wasn’t scared when his cloak opened. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Frumpykins took a wobbled step through the small breach and took its bearings. The small breach closed behind it and it realized it was on a dusty road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. There were four roads intersecting down farther and leaning on a signpost near the crossroads was a man playing a guitar singing softly. Mr. Frumpykins smiled, well if it could smile. Mr. Frumpykins always had a thing for music. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And there it is. I did not change anything except for some grammar and spelling mistakes I noticed. Let me know what you think. As Always, The Grue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Gods or Kings. Only Man Posted August 18, 2015 Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 I liked the little girl. Not sure why Frumpykins helped her, but her personality was well done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grue Posted August 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 Thank you. I was going to take this time Edonil gave us and change up the story to fix what other people had said needed attention but decided to leave it as is. I tried to give Mina's relationship with Mr. Frumpykins the "imaginary friend" vibe. Whereas, maybe she doesn't realize that Mr. Frumpykins is actually real and not just her friend she made up. I appreciate your time in reading my story. As Always, The Grue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kadeton Posted August 18, 2015 Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 I liked the little girl. Not sure why Frumpykins helped her, but her personality was well done.Did it help her, though? I agree, her frustration at having people refuse to believe her came through very well.Did Bobby Ray seriously kick a girl in the head until she was unconscious and needed stitches, and not get expelled? Malifaux Primary School is rough, man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grue Posted August 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 I tried to write how hard life would be, even for children in Malifaux. One child saying that a boy kicked her into unconsciousness versus the whole schoolyard saying he didn't wouldn't likely go in the girl's favor. While this is tragic, it also shows the need of a more forceful presence by the Guild and less lax laws in terms of civilian rights and freedoms. (maybe I am too much of a Guildie) Thank you for your comments and thoughts. As always, The Grue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Gods or Kings. Only Man Posted August 19, 2015 Report Share Posted August 19, 2015 Oh, so the Guild has all the answers does it? And the working man is where in their equation? Maybe if the Guild took some of their resources away from their greedy exploitation and put it into the betterment of the life of every person of Malifaux. But let's face it, with the rampant corruption inside the Guild, they are not up to the task. And that's why they need to relinquish control of certain parts of Malifaux to the M&SU, who are willing to - and have the means to - protect not only the lives of the people of Malifaux, but also the inherent value of those lives. VOTE M&SU, FOR A MALIFAUX WHERE YOU ARE REWARDED FOR YOUR TOILS, RATHER THAN PUNISHED! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grue Posted August 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2015 Well perhaps if the MS&U spent a little more of their resources on safer mining conditions and less on automaton there would be less death and dismemberment in the mines. A universal Guild system is a system where you can have a Guild Guard on every Corner, a Watcher on every Lampost and a Hunter on every rooftop. SAFETY, TRUE SAFETY, IS ONLY A STEP AWAY. JUST MAKE SURE THAT STEP IS IN LINE. IF YOU COULD BE TRUSTED TO VOTE, YOU SHOULD VOTE GUILD. As Always, The Grue 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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