Da Git Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 So I have a thread with my counts as Fransisco conversion here: http://wyrd-games.net/community/topic/109566-death-marshal-fransisco-conversion-wip/ Basically, I want to use Fransisco's rules but I don't want to use the model in my Lady Justice crew (I liked themed lists), so I converted up my own. Here's the fluff behind it! I'd love some C&C, also if you find any mistakes, can you let me know? Cheers! I hope you enjoy it. Priest Not all power corrupts. Pastor of a small village Earthside, Hicks led a quiet life of faith, diligently shepherding his flock toward the light. Then came the plague. Powerless to stop the outbreak’s spread or save the townsfolk falling to the sickness, Hicks’ woes were just beginning. The dead didn’t stay dead! It was Hicks’ fiery oratory that rallied those few who had survived and sowed such disarray amongst the undead that allowed them to find the necromancer pulling the strings and end the plague. Theirs was to be a hollow victory, for over ninety percent of the townsfolk were dead, including Hicks’ wife and daughter. Learning that the monster who had inflicted these woes had come from Malifaux, Hicks resolved himself to hunt them at their source. Turning to the Church for aid, his petition was decried as falsehood and he was exiled, the Church’s silent backers in the Guild refusing to allow any hint of the Resurrectionist threat to take hold Earthside. Thus Hicks crossed the Breach alone. * * * Breachside, he joined up with a band of like-minded “exorcists” and his passionate oratory quickly became an annoyance to the Guild, although it also ended the life of many an up and coming resurrectionist. It was through this he found the blade. In the course of interrogating a captured a resurrectionist’s apprentice, Hicks discovered the location of her powerful master’s lair. Leading his crew deep into the quarantine zone, Hick’s led his crew into an ambush. As they confronted the resurrectionist, the ground split open unleashing a veritable tide of undead. The exorcists answered with a storm of gunfire, but the undead’s surprise was total and through their wait of numbers the battle could only go one way. With his followers slain and his guns empty, Hicks cast about for a weapon when the glimmer of a Soulstone caught his eye. Deep in one of the cracks was lodged a beautiful blade, clearly an ancient relic of Old Malifaux. Within the leaf-bladed sword’s guard was set a pulsing opaque Soulstone, time seemed to slow around down around him as he heard the ‘stone calling to him, longing to be drawn once more. Time reasserted itself and as the zombies shuffled forward to finish their prey, Hicks leapt for the weapon. His hand closing upon the hilt, he felt a deep pull within his chest, but before he could let go, he lost consciousness as he was struck down by the malevolent will within the ‘stone. In his coma, Hick’s fought a grim battle for his soul against the malevolent will of the blade and it was only his unquenchable faith that allowed him to triumph. Awakening, he found the resurrectionist dead, along with all of his creations. Hicks looked at the blade in wonder, had he caused such carnage? Returning to the city, Hicks continued his crusade against the undead. The sword bestowing him power behind mortal ken in battle. At battle’s end, a deep fatigue and longing overcome him as he sheaths the blade once more. Slowly, food and drink began to lose its flavour and fire its warmth. Eventually, he even couldn’t even recall his wife and daughter’s faces. * * * Disaster struck when, one day, Hicks and his crew were discussing their next Quarantine Zone trip at a small bar a daring resurrectionist struck in broad daylight. As Hicks drew the sword, his skin burst into blue flame, revealing a rictus grin beneath. Although they slew the resurrectionist and her monsters, the Guild had moved in and saw Hicks as a monster. His life almost ended there and then, on the blades of those he had spent his entire life protecting when Lady Justice herself stepped between the exorcist band and the guardsmen. Seeing the purity within him, and the evil of the blade, she inducted him into the Marshals. Discarding his past, Hicks took the name Priest, and continues his never-ending hunt for the Resurrectionists alongside the Death Marshalls. Despite his services to humanity in Malifaux, there are many unanswered questions that have Guild officials concerned. For example, no one knows the accord Priest struck with Lady Justice. Is she his patron, or jailor? Nor does anyone know the true price Hicks pays to wield the sword, does he chain it to himself to protect others from the darkness within, or to extend his own life? And just how far will Hicks go in his crusade against the undead before becoming one himself? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kogan Style Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Shaping up nicely! The ending is nice and open, you can take Priest anywhere with that The part in which he finds his sword should be re-written so he gets ambushed, then finds the sword. Otherwise it doesn't read correctly. Something like this: Information 'volunteered' by those foolish enough to cross paths with Hicks led him and his crew to a well planned ambush in the Quarantine Zone. As bullets flew and the Dead rose again, the earth itself seemed to crack under the strain of the forces unleashed in the battle A glint of metal caught Hick's eye and he dived down in between one of the cracks. Before him, embedded in the rock was a sword, a beautiful leaf-bladed weapon, truly a relic of Old Malifaux. A soulstone glittered in the guard, pulsing a bright blue light. The blade seemed to call to him. Reaching out, Hick's hand closed around the hilt, he felt a pull, deep within his chest, and before he could take his hand away he fainted, collapsing on the ground. His soul was drawn into a battle with the Malevolent will housed within the Soulstone. Keep up the great work (both fluff and model!). Im really glad you are bringing this guy to life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Git Posted July 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Thanks for your thoughts, your writing is really nice, very dramatic with great images whilst keeping it short and concise! Wish I could write like that, mine tends to be a bit long-winded! I've edited the scene a bit to include a bit more details on the ambush, it's the Italicised paragraphs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kogan Style Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 I just like writing short pieces It does force you to think which words you use to describe things and gets a sense of speed into the writing. The re-write is really good when you compare it to your first one! You make it feel like Hicks had very few choices when he reached for the sword and you've made the battle sound much more dramatic The only change I would make is to change wait to weight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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