Okay, so my experience, what little of it there is.
UPGRADES!
I take Spirit Beacon on Kirai, this means when a Seishin dies within 2 inches of Kirai, you can have her take 1 damage and the Seishin instead lives with 1 damage on it. I use this to summon off of regularly along with her zero to summon Seishin and Datsue-Ba's (0) to summon another every turn I can make that happen.
I usually take Swirl of Aether so Kirai can zero to teleport up to 8 inches to a friendly spirit so she doesn't have to use her actions on a walk later into a match.
Finally, I take Unforgiven so she can summon within 3 instead of adjacent to the spirit or have a chance to summon without giving the model slow. Also this gives her Sunder Spirit attack a boost so just generally good stuff.
Datsue Ba gets Spirit Whispers and My Little Helper. Spirit Whispers lets me drop scheme markers when my spirits die as a 1 action on her, and she's also able to summon a Seishin which I use to surround my Kirai and make her relatively unchargable and moderately immortal. My little helper lets her give two walks when she wants (maybe to give Izamu a chance to get into some pretty odd angles for combat).
Izamu gets Decaying Aura. It might look like I'm using him to do damage but he's mostly there to eat fire so I can summon in peace. I don't mind him dying in turn 2 or so as long as the rest of my crew has been mostly ignored.
Finally, Phillip and the Nanny get Haunting Cries. Honestly no reason to not take this upgrade.
WHAT DO YOU DO THOUGH?
Turn 1 and 2, Datsue-Ba moves a fair bit ahead and summons a Seishin around two inches ahead of where I think I'll end my Kirai's activation. Either before she moves or after if I have to move at an angle, I'll make Izamu walk or Phillip and the Nanny walk. Usually on turn 1 it's Phillip and the Nanny. After the early game for positioning, her ranged attack is a pretty okay damage attack and ignores armour so it's deadly to any tanky character on the enemy team. Not to mention she can kill stuff and summon off it. I try to keep a soulstone or two for Datsue to charge something armoured and if she can get it to 3-5 health away from dying, I'll spend a SS to force the trigger on her close range attack that lets her make her ranged attack after and then SS to force the summon an Onryo.
I usually run a Shikome. They usually move once and then drop a scheme marker for Phillip and the Nanny. Then later on they try to give people Advesary for Izamu and Datsue-Ba to deal with and they also do a fair bit of damage themselves. Poison is the preferred trigger here (usually). I use the Shikome to Swirl of Aether Kirai to after turn 1 and then swap Izamu with her or Datsue Ba depending on positioning on the table. Shikome make okay scheme runners but they hit hard and are pretty okay at taking hits so I tend to move them around to give me attacks against ranged enemies. A solid combo is Datsue-ba giving someone Advesary with her ranged attack and then using Shikome's zero action to place in base with that model and just consistently murder things like that.
Izamu, as I said above, he's mostly here to draw fire on turns 1 and 2. I fling him forward with Kira's switch spirit ability and after that I usually Datsue Ba to walk him into enemies if I don't need a new Seishin. If my opponent is quite aggressive, I stay a little back with everyone else but Izamu makes a solid teleport target to push into the opponent's backline via teleport and Datsue-ba's summoning Seishin or attacks making spirits or the Shikome doing her place and then Kirai switching him into the back.
Canine Remains, solid scheme runner (many suggest two to make this reliable but I view the rest of my list as disruptive so this little dog tends to be ignored for 3-4 turns and you should win the game in that time or lose it. Primary purpose is to move on turn 1 and drop a scheme marker for Phillip and the Nanny and then to stay around the edges of any engagements and generally not be threatening. Push come to shove, if the Shikome gives something poison, the Canine remains can charge it as a (1) action. I've used this to kill gremlins as they push out of combat if you melee them (or have a chance to at least). I've literally charged the same gremlin 3 times with a Shikome and Canine Remains as they kept pushing out of combat and I had an ap spare so I could charge them. Also it's sometimes surprising to your opponent to attack the dog and have Ikryo come out.
Phillip and the Nanny, turns 1 and 2 try to do the draw cards actions as much as possible. It's not a requirement but a better hand means better summons usually, and generally not having a bad turn. Usually I can clear enemy scheme markers by turn 3 or so too for their zero action. Later turns make Chatty important and then I can use the Haunting Cries attack to just try to force enemy model count down.
Finally, Kirai, early on she throws Izamu forward and walks and summons a Seishin then summons by taking 1 damage. Later on she mostly summons but the transpose spirits spell sees use if Izamu is in a good position. I place my Kirai near the middle of the field early on via a walk action and swirling aether or double walk if I want to summon a Seishin and Datsue Ba can't do a summon this turn. She defends via passing attacks to Seishin if she gets her defensive trigger and otherwise tries to stay out of sight if possible. Being in the middle allows you to trigger your Ikryo fairly regularly, Ikryo should generally try to attack once immediately after you summon her and then sacrifice herself.
Part of the finesse of this is to activate all your summons before you activate stuff you bought normally. It's not going to happen too much on turn 1 but you can get up to 2 additional activations from Seishin there and maybe a Kirai Summon. Turn 2 you will have 2 Seishin, then Datsue Ba then a Seishin she brings then canine remains, whatever Kirai summoned in turn 1, then the models you brought. You can start reliably getting Izamu into combat against things that can't counter activate + your Shikome doing it's own thing pretty quickly. I've literally summoned models to drop scheme markers for Phillip and the Nanny on turn 1 (they can't interact on the turn they arrive but they can on turn 2) and just wasting early activations allows me to move my guys in a way that (unless my enemy is quite aggressive) gives me low damage coming into my list.
Another thing to track is models. You want to gain models every turn. If you have a plan that loses you 4 models for their 1, try to think of a different way to do it. Heck, I've used my Kirai as muscle to ensure that I don't lose models before. Onryo heal your master on one of their triggers, that's important if you play Kirai aggressively.
WHAT? NO LOST LOVE?
It might be better to use a Lost Love instead of a Canine Remains, but I find people pay too much attention to it and worse, it can't give Phillip and the Nanny scheme markers to munch on. On the other side, he can heal Kirai and extends the Ikryo summoning circle. If your opponent is quite aggressive, he's a better pick than the Canine remains (maybe).
Anyways, that's my experience. Hope some of these ideas help you.
