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Snaphance

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Everything posted by Snaphance

  1. You are correct. Something else must be going on. Looking at the "spat"-"drew gun" comment - I'm in the wrong and withdraw my claim. (I had to look up what gerunds were). On edonil's, for me "She darted" seems quite active but "he knew was" is not. Also it switches from the external world to an internal one - that's all ok, but it just caused me a little friction when I read it.
  2. This thread is tagged with "feedback" but there isn't any actual feedback yet. So I've figured I'd break the ice. I have no special talents or experience here - this is just one guy's opinion. Good sense of action with this one in general. This exercise is supposed to make every word matter so I'll nit pick. The word "explode" should itself come to the reader suddenly - i think it should come as early in the sentence as possible. You have "To her left a stone exploded, blinding her in glittering dust. " which buries the explosion in the middle of the sentence. The phrase "Misaki charged." seems like it should be a big finale but it is robbed of some of its power by having "she charged" earlier on. Also "she" at the beginning and "Misaki" at the end made me question, for or moment, how many women were in the combat. --- This one manages to set a mood, tell a story, and have a twist. Excellent. My only nitpick is the line "She darted around a corner he knew was a dead end, and he swaggered around it just in time to see her drop her mask." The first part is a little awkward, maybe because "she darted" is in the now, but "knew was" is in the past. This should also probably be two sentences. --- This one also manages to set the mood, tell a story, and add a twist all in a few word. It feels to me like a first draft but I don't know why. Maybe its things like the tenses in "Jeffrey spat blood, straining against his chains", "Spat" is past tense but "straining" is present tense. "He drew a pistol, pressing it against Jeffrey's forehead. also seems to mix tenses. --- Anyway, those are my amateur attempts at feedback. Feel free to tear my "Siege" drabble apart in response.
  3. [draft 2] Siege In the morning he pushed a wheelbarrow between the rows of struggling crops. His head down, watching for rocks. He stopped and pried each unquiet stone from the soil. Then he wrestled the full wheelbarrow to the wall. He stacked this morning's stones on top of those from previous days, careful to not let any of the carved glyphs align. He paused and looked over the wall at the creatures beyond. Tonight they would try again to reach him. Tonight, again, the faintly humming wall would stop them. He turned the empty wheelbarrow back between the rows.
  4. I have not yet participated but figured I'd toss in a couple of ideas. It might be fun if more than just the theme changes: change some rules from contest to contest. * Two points of view: A 2 part contest where the author tells many of the same events but from two completely different POVs. * Elimination series: Participants write only a short intro scene. Votes are taken and then only the top half of winners move on to write an additional scene for the competition. Votes are taken again and only the top two winners write a final scene (this would be an exercise in hooking the reader). * Personally I'm intimidated by not fully knowing all the fluff of Malifaux. If there is something in the Chronicles which directly relates to a given month's challenge it would be good to point it out. Some challenges could be required to directly riff off some given existing material. Alternatively some contests could forbid having any known masters or henchmen from making an appearance. * Exquisite corpse. Participants write a scene. Then the entries are passed in a round robin to different participants to continue each story. Awards would be given for good beginnings and good endings. * Mix up the length both in word count and deadlines from contest to contest.
  5. The ones on my to do list: Guild Pathfinder 4 Clockwork traps C Hoffman Guardian Mechanical Attendant Watcher Sonia Purifying Flame Samael Hopkins 2 Hunters Ramos Brass Arachnid Joss Howard Langston 3 Steam Arachnids Stean Arachnid Swarm
  6. Hello, I'm in Seattle (well Shoreline actually, but close enough). I have only played one game but I enjoyed it a bunch (lost it). I enjoy painting minis but have avoided war games in the past because I don't want to paint dozens of identical figures and don't want to pay endless amounts of money. Malifaux uses fewer figures, has more unique figures, and seems to cost less to have a fieldable army, um I mean crew. I'm hooked. No, I mean it, I'm hooked. I find I'm becoming more than a bit obsessed with a game I have barely played.
  7. Thank you all for your kind words. By the time I'm done painting a mini I'm oddly simultaneously happy with the way they turned out and painfully aware of their many flaws. Yes, I was a bit timid with the bases. I've already picked out the next crew I'll do: "The Tourch and The Blade" - Sonnia Criid and co. I'm thinking of stretching a bit on those bases.
  8. I'm new to Malifaux and new to these style of minis. Here is my first efforts:
  9. Hi, I'm new to Malifaux and have had troubles understanding triggers. I finally think I understand the basics now but have a question: Some cards have suits displayed in the weapon stats but there doesn't seem to be any associated trigger ability. For example Joss has an Arc Axe with Ml , but there is no trigger ability for the axe, nor do any of the upgrades that came with the kit seem to use this. What is the axe's used for?
  10. Thank you Asrian. Even with the book and cards in front of me, triggers were confounding. Now I get it.
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