ashenlion

Well then. Thanks everyone and congrats to all

Loved the ending, that was a fun read!

aw, I loved the little guys! Nice story

Thanks much for the comment!

I gave a go, might edit it a time or two. A Balanced Scale

“I’m seriously going to throw you off this train if you don’t start talking sense.” “It doesn’t make sense. I’d throw myself off if it did.” The two Guild Guards stared at each other, the elder of the two from what looked like an interrupted meal. The younger one was in the doorway, now and again adjusting his step with each jolt the floor gave. Lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the nightscape as the train steadily plotted on. The cars jittered about, causing anyone that decided to stand to take hold of a bar or wall for balance. The older Guard rubbed his temple and gave a sigh. “Alright Ferris, let’s go over it again. You found a stowaway.” “Of a sort.” “And she didn’t have any papers, identification, or give a name.” “Right.” “No one saw her enter the train, we haven’t stopped in hours, and all the compartments are locked. You found her sitting in one of the empty cars and she made no attempt to hide.” Ferris nodded, pushing back his dark hair. “She looks normal enough. If she’s some kind of witch, she probably wouldn’t want attention or would have blown us up by now. And she isn’t setting anyone on fire, if that helps. Maybe a spy…” “As if it were that simple. We are only shipping supplies that are not even worth looting. Likely she’s someone’s girl that snuck in somehow and no one wants to admit it. But that doesn’t make it less of a problem for us.” “I don’t know, Senior Yates. It just seems unlikely no one would see anything or lie about it at this point. I mean, the whole point of our passengers going to the mines is to work off jail time. Why add more to it?” Yates yawned. “What, you expect criminals to be honest? What did you do with her?” “I let her be, she’s in the third car-” “How many of these runs have you been on?” Ferris’s ears turned red. “Alright, so only a few-” “You’ve got a lot to learn about how things are done around here. Guild doesn’t take kindly to stowaways and be thankful it’s going to Malifaux as opposed to leaving. That makes it more likely we would get only a demotion and a beating instead of getting eaten by some Neverborn or other such nightmare. Anything happens and we are beyond shafted. Last thing we want is some witch hunter bothering us instead of everyone else." “She’s only a teenager at best. I think the usual procedure is a bit harsh-” “I’ll decide that, being a senior officer and all. You get back to questioning and don’t be afraid to get rough. Better them then us. And I want men with some semblance of responsibility nearby in case she causes a problem.” Ferris scowled, but gave a nod and left. Yates watched him move to the other car compartments, sighed, and got up with a heave. Carefully he made his way from car to car, looking into each compartment within as he did. It was late, so most of the prisoners were trying to sleep, each chained to their seat to insure they didn’t cause trouble on the journey. Yates shook his head, thinking that prison might have been better than working in the soul stone mines these poor bastards were heading to. After squeezing past a few more Guards, he made it to the car reserved for them when not on patrol. The girl was still there, a thin little thing in a tattered white dress. Her hair was nearly the same color as her attire, long and loosely hung. She remained silent as the guard came near. She seemed content to look out the window. Yates suppressed a shudder, the hairs prickling at the back of his neck. The air was suddenly on the edge of too warm, something that made him even more wary of this trespasser. “I am-” “The senior officer of the train night runs.” She finished softly, still gazing out the window. “That’s right. So it’s-” “Within my best interests to answer a few questions or face additional criminal charges.” “Stop that.” Yates snapped, the shudder from his neck now trickling down his spine. He felt his hand touch the handle of his sidearm, keenly aware of the smooth wood finish of the pistol as his fingers closed around the weapon. “How-” “Do I know what you are going to say?” He drew his gun. “You are truly testing my-" “Patience.” She looked at him directly. Her complexion was nearly as pale as her hair, but the eyes blazed like golden suns beneath the bangs. Yates felt his thumb slowly pull back the hammer of his gun. “You try anything, anything at all and I’ll-" “Shoot?” She murmured. She slowly stood, her bare feet making no noise on the metal of the compartments floor. Yates swallowed loudly, his mouth suddenly dry. “Sit down.” She cocked her head to the side, her expression mournful. “You are afraid of me.” “Yes.” He heard himself say, barely aware of it. The girl slowly walked forward. “I am not the only one that was forced to be here.” “What do you mean-” “So much money passes hands over the heads of those it was meant to serve.” She was now a few feet from him, her face level with his. “Your Guild needed workers fast, too fast to gather true criminals.” “How did-” “And not the first time, is it? So many souls sent to dig for their freedom, only to be confined in the treasure they seek to buy it with.” Her eyes burned into his, and he could not stop shaking. “Go away.” He whispered. “However you got here, get out.” She bowed her head. “I am sorry you did not choose a different path.” Senior officer Yates tried to say something, but ended with nothing as he pulled the trigger. The bang was loud in the confined space of the car, the bullet entering the exposed flesh where her heart beat below. Blood misted over the glass window, the girl’s body thudded against the wall before she slid to the floor, her expression… Almost like pity. Yates stepped back, unable to tear his eyes from the corpse in front of him. His mind was numb, it still trying to catch up with what happened. He heard footsteps approach, and after backing up enough he was able to turn his head. Ferris stood there, his eyes wide. “Are you insane?! What reasons have you to shoot your gun like that?” “Insane?! Boy, you must be blind to think that thing is-” he stuttered to a halt when he looked back at the girl. Nothing was there, not a trace of blood or girl. Yates blinked and put his gun down slowly. “That’s not...I didn't...” He shook his head, trying to clear it, his heart beating so fast it started to hurt. “Check everywhere for this girl. I want her found before we reach the breech-" “Sir, we passed it a moment ago.” Yates opened his mouth, and then closed it with a snap. “Alright then. Get back to your post.” “What about the girl?” “Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle the report.” “…So there are no issues to report in regards to the trip?” asked the wheezy Guild clerk. “Everything was fine. There were some mild hallucinations as we crossed, but no worse than that. Workers for the mines are ready to go, no loss or injuries to report.” The clerk pushed back his glasses as he scribbled a few notes. After stamping the papers, he pushed the stack towards Yates. “Sign here.” Yates did so, giving a short groan as he leaned forward on the battered desk. The heat was terrible, warm and thick enough to notice how sticky he felt. He scribbled his signature as quick as he could without even reading what he put his pen to. The clerk gathered the documents up, looking at the guard. “Are you feeling alright?” “Yeah, I was up all night so I’m a little winded.” He stood up. “I’m heading back Earthside as soon as there is an opening. If you could arrange for my passage, I’d appreciate it.” The air was not letting up as Yates left the clerk’s office. The sun was a shade too bright, the movement of the train station too noisy. The pain in his chest intensified. The dull throbbing from last night became sharp and steady with each passing moment. “I just need some rest.” He muttered. He walked towards the train, trying to see through the crowds even though his sight seemed to flicker and darken with each step he took. He held his chest, giving himself a moment to try and catch a breath. He tried another step and stumbled, the pain too much for him to stand as he fell to his knees. Blood speckled on the ground, a few drops here and there, his breathe ragged. People were now looking at him, backing up, pointing, watching. A few went for help. Yates tried to say something, but the pain was too much. A set of bare feet came into view as he felt a pair of smooth hands gently lift his head. The girl was back, her face serene. Blackened wings unfurled from her back, and stretched over their heads to mark this space hers. There was no wound on her chest. Yates tried to say something, but the girl hushed him. “It will be over soon.” “What are you?” He managed to whisper. Her face was both terrible and sweet as she looked at him. “I am vengeance. I am absolution. I am woe tempered with a mortal pain. I am balance.” She looked around. “So many are fearful of what you are going through, though they neither see nor know the cause.” Her burning eyes gave way to a sad smile. “Perhaps it is a mercy they cannot.” She murmured, letting his head rest. Yates wanted to plead his innocence, but the blood was too thick. He could do nothing as the girl slowly walked away, vanishing from his sight. He could do nothing as the blood pooled around his body. He could do nothing as members of the guild came forward, soul stones ready for him. All he could do was allow the scales to balance. Word Count: 1,745 Ingredients: Theme (in passing), Line, Location, Character (in passing)

Really liked it! Nice fighting, great on description

I smiled at the end with the crossed out section XD I know what you mean about the forum, but over all I enjoyed the read and I really liked the ending.

As I’m sure you’ve read before, you were very successful in writing the atmosphere. There is a certain feeling of dread and general creepy-ness that is very entertaining. I really liked how you were able to convey so much even with the word limit.

I really love the descriptions and setting that you’ve built up. I found it easy to follow the dialog even with the accents. Normally writing out an accent tends to be distracting but you’ve done it wonderfully.

I really liked the concept, it was simple and elegant (and I agree very much with brewmaster about giant robot fights XD) I liked the overall story; I guess my only complaint would really be the format. It was a little choppy to read smoothly (though that well might have been the forum settings, so hardly worth mentioning if that is the case). I enjoyed the descriptions very much, if this develops to a greater story I know I’m not the only one who would be reading it

Ah yes, I see what you mean. Thanks for the tips, hopefully this time its a little smoother.

Hello everyone! I haven't introduced myself yet, (still poking at the forums trying to see what works, I'm not sure how that quick reply thing works with my computer, or more likely I am a noob XD ). In any case, I'm really enjoying some of the stories I've been reading in my off time. Hopefully the things I write wont cause people the compulsion to scoop out their eyeballs with a spork (but if they do, do let me know so I may indulge in schadenfreude) Oh yeah, here it is - A Chain of Clockwork

There are many things I dislike in this world. The obvious would be witches and monsters. Ice in whiskey. Cold coffee. Floor meeting my face. Landing in a singed pile of equipment and bruised limbs, I heard myself groan as my head smacked into the ground, which caused the world to dim for a moment. I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could, and the bolt of arcane rage somehow grazed the one part of my features that was not scarred. I stifled the yell, and twisted to hide behind a huge gear. Yes, gear. It was interlaced with other mechanical bits, the constant tock, tock, tock of the monstrous clock tower blocking out the footfalls of my adversary. This was likely one of the reasons she chose to run here before beating me into a bloody pulp. “You know,” I called out “you could still surren-“ I was rudely interrupted as a bang echoed above me. I jerked my head up, and saw smoke rising from a cogwheel before it broke loose and plummeted towards me. I tumbled out of the way, wood splintered as the metal landed. It sent me spiraling down the menagerie of moving parts and pistons. I landed on another wheel, the slow spin allowed me time to roll to a stable surface. I stayed there, trying to keep my breathing down. There was then musical laughter, loudly mocking above the clanking pandemonium. “Is this all the Guild has to offer?” she called out coyly. “You make a better jester than witch hunter.” I felt the retort rising, but kept it down. In a fair one-on-one duel she had the home advantage. That and her brand of magic was rather straight forward-holy-malifaux-kill-you type compared to my much more subtle incantations. I got to my feet and tried my best to hide in the shadows between the giant cogs in motion. “What, no more threats? No jokes?” she sang. Her voice carried between the maddening noise around me. This made it impossible to fully pick out where she was next. Then I had a thought. I snatched for my Guild sigil and snapped the chain. There was a brief pause as I realized the light in the room had gotten brighter and warmer. Then suddenly I was in the air. Again. In panic I reached out with my free hand and grabbed another landing, acrid smoke still in my nostrils. With a groan, I was able to maneuver and pull myself up. I quickly turned, and saw her across the toothed chasm. She was coldly beautiful, her eyes a bright pink and glinting in amusement, her arms aglow from the magic she had been throwing out. She was dressed in a voluminous red gown and lengthy black hair. How she has able maneuver with any grace in that get up was beyond me. She pointed at me, a wider grim spread on her blood colored lips. I took this as a bad sign. A brittle wall exploded as I was slammed through it. The silver lining was that my body was then between enough things she would have to move to see me again. I knew she would have to take her time maneuvering with that dress. I took that opportunity to slink to darker shadows and hopefully away from the witch. My ribs ached and one leg caused me to limp as I stalked through the insane landscape of metal. She was like a cat, playing with her prey before the kill. That could lead to an opening if I could keep mobile enough. This thought kicked in when I felt another blast graze my face. I ran full sprint between the clockwork; I drew my pistol and shot it behind me. I heard her yell as the bullet ricocheted off the machinery. I jumped to another platform and shot again at her general direction. Using this distraction I was able to climb higher. The noise here was loud enough, but the gunshots clanging made it almost unbearable. I slunk in the shadows and caught my breath. I needed it for what I was going to do next. I closed my eyes, a last chain link from my sigil clenched in my fist as my own magic awakened. I felt the past memories rising from it, pain, triumph but mostly pride. I focused harder, and felt for the other links I had left scattered across the tower. My nosebleed gushed as I concentrated harder, the first link I dropped told me that no one was near. The second one I dropped, however, echoed a brush of folding cloth and foot falls. The third heard them louder. I was able to roll out of the way before the wall burst into flames. I sprinted ahead, and this time dodged the next attack with ease. I heard her yell in anger as the gears around me burst, and I twisted from under the barrage. She whisked by to take another shot. I took out my sword and leapt between the cogs and swung in a wide arc. I saw the look of surprised as she jumped away, the steel only grazed her, but forced her to backpedal. She yelped as I swung again and sliced her side. She raised her hands to blast me, but I was too close for her to get it off in time. I took my pommel and hit her hard in the cheek; she staggered in her dress and fell off the edge. Her hands flew out and caught the platform, the room suddenly quiet despite the movement around us. I ambled to her, fear and anger blazed from her eyes. “How did you do that, witch hunter!?” she screamed. “Oh come now, we both know I’m not the one answering questions.” I replied calmly. She attempted to pull herself up, her fingernails leaving marks on the wooden boards. I slammed my sword into her outstretched hand and pinned her to the floor. She shrieked as she held onto the blade with her other hand. The lifeline sliced deeper the harder she held onto it. “Please, you don’t have to do this.” She whispered to me, her eyed wet from tears. “Is that what they said before the end?” I asked quietly. The witch jerked her head up, her face showed sudden understanding and swift panic. I grabbed her shoulder and hoisted her high enough to see the charms and trophies around the girl’s neck. “A life for many,” I said as I grabbed the necklace. “Justice will be served.” I ripped my sword free. She screamed as the steel ripped through her fingers and thumb, and in desperation her remaining hand grabbed onto the cord. I jerked it up, the blood on her hands caused her to slip and lose her grasp. Her hair and dress flared around her as she plummeted, she gave a final shriek as she slammed into the clockwork below with a sickening crunch. I watched her as she fell; holding onto the last remnants of my brothers and sisters. The charms could tell me rage, fear, pain, but there was also pride etched in those red stained mask symbols. Justice served indeed. Final Word Count: 1,208 Secret Ingredients: Clockwork Girl, Severed Thumb, and In the Shadow of Giants (in passing)

A Shard of Soul "So what am I going to get in return for doing this suicide mission for you?" Marshal Kreg narrowed his eyes at me. Or at least I think he did, it’s hard to tell under the wide-brimmed standard-issue hat. "It's part of your duty. Besides, with your skill set you are better suited." "Don't preach to me about duty, Kreg. I know full well this one got bumped up to you because other members died trying. So what's in it for me?" "How would you know that, Thane?” I gave him a patent smile. "Word gets around. You know what I want." "Not happening." "Do we really need to dance around? I'll report this, people will check in, and you know how much we love those open-shut cases..." “Fine,” he snapped, tossing me the file. I deftly caught it, doing my best not to let the grin get too big. “Seems light. You mind me asking why?” “Ask what’s left of the last team; the survivors aren’t being cooperative.” “Is that all?” I chuckled as I shut the door. Figures that I'd get stuck with this; there was no lost love between us. Or any member of this section of the Guild. We don't work well with others. *** The witch slammed the door in my face. "Oh come on!" I yelled through the door. "I don't care if you’re indecent!" "Go away, Marek!" I heard her yell back, the sound of something breaking against the door. “I brought cookies." There was a pause. "Don't want them." "You're adorable when you're angry." "You're up to something." “I got your last case. I thought you’d like to have a hand in revenge, and I’m here so I can get more information and make Kreg look bad.” There was a pause, then the door opened slightly. Her amber eyes peered from the dark room, the shadows barely hiding she was wearing a near transparent nightgown. I, being gentlemanly, kept my eyes focused on her angular face, noting the sunken look and fresh cuts across the cheek. "I simply want to get an idea of what I’m getting into, and I'll owe you a favor. Fair enough?" "What kind of cookies again?" I looked down at the box. "Gingerbread men, with extra icing." Seren opened the door fully. "Alright, come in." I ducked into the room and took off my hat respectfully, brushing auburn strands out of my eyes. The room was small, only allowing a kitchenette, living space and a water closet. She (regrettably) wrapped herself up in a bathrobe, gesturing towards the table. I set the items down and drew a chair out for her. “I thought I was clear in my report.” She said, wincing as she settled. “An account from an actual person is far more useful. Your team was in charge of finding the counterfeit soul stones, right?” “If you believe such a thing could be faked.” She murmured. “It took weeks, but we tracked the original box to near in the western ruins. We suspected someone left it there for us to find on purpose.” “What gave you that idea?” Her lips curled in a grimace. “An item that the Guild makes exclusively theirs and then members dead after using them? Considering how popular we are?” “Fair point. So what happened?” She looked away. “We found another box, but it was rigged to go off when someone went near. Two of us barely had time to scream before they hit the ground. Was able to get a spell off, but the shards from the energy and glass killed another. And then we were attacked by something, I guess it must have been from the breach. It wasn’t human.” She lifted her bangs, showing me glass embedded in her face. “I was the lucky one.” “You were.” I said, gently taking her hand. “You came back to warn the rest of us. So I’m going to make sure they are brought to justice. But I’m going to need something else.” She looked at me suspiciously “Like what?” *** Later that night, I headed towards the ruins. Buildings had toppled long before, a feeling a dread, wind and whispers dancing between the shadows around me. I took out the blood spotted pouch, feeling the glass from Seren’s wound. I focused my will, blocking out the coldness about me and on the tiny slivers. I could feel her pain, but I could also feel it had been also handled by someone unidentifiable. My gut told me I was near where the other pieces were. My eyes filtered through the area for disturbance. You can't always rely on magic after all. A footprint here, a splatter of mud there indicating someone had been by recently. I knew I was even closer by the dried blood flecks. I turned a corner and saw what looked like more blood, but no bodies. More disturbing though was indications of something being dragged away. Then again, that made tracking easier. Deeper among the ruins I crept, descending down crumbling steps to further darkness. Water trickled down walls, mildew and rot matching the feeling of dread creeping over the atmosphere. I carefully stepped over scraps of twisted metal, the sounds of whirling and metal clanking around me. Up ahead was a door illuminated, shadows moving about. The room was huge, tables covered in tools and materials thrown about. A man was there, covered by a welders mask and smoke, carefully working on something freakishly blasphemous. I suppose a spider would be the closest descriptor, many metal legs, gears and flesh intertwined together. There was a face full of despair, a silent wail of agony from its bear trap maw. "Almost fixed." whispered the man, caressing the blades. As I saw him pick up a glowing stone and harness into the monster, pieces fell rapidly into place. I figured it would be a really bad idea to wait for him to finish ‘fixing’ it. Not one for dramatic planning, I walked right in. The man, hearing my entry, turned. Though his expression was covered, I saw madness, surprise, but also grim delight. Not the best combination. “So the Guild finally tracks me down.” He wheezed. I said nothing, slowly sidestepping, my eyes flickering between the two advisories. “No vows of vengeance? Perhaps this will motivate you.” He whispered a word, and the eyes of the monster glowing red. “Ah, hell.” was apparently all I could say before the thing threw the table. As luck would have it, I was only grazed, but thrown off balance. I wanted to come up with a better retort, but the world was being annoyingly spinny. That and I was too busy trying not to get hit by the mechanized machination. It screamed, slashing at me with its scythes. I rolled out of the way, unsheathing my blade. Whispering a word, the blade gleamed a cold white light, the glare of it making the creature screech louder. I bounced back on my feet, bounding forward and struck. Black blood welled from the wound, burning as it hit my sword. Flicking the blade I spun and side stepped to slash again. It clawed towards me, catching my coat edge with a smooth slicing sound. Seeing the ends torn into neat shreds gave me just the motivation needed to dive again, ducking under the legs and digging my sword deep into its belly. It screamed again, blood dripping over my blade and burning in a torrent. It attempted to run before slumping over, the flesh and magic dissolving like ashes in wind, leaving smoking twisted scraps. I pulled out the sword and turned towards the man. I had expected some sort of rant of revenge, but he immediately raised his hands in a sign of surrender. "Take me into custody and I'll gladly share my secrets." I paused, thinking about it briefly. "Alright, I'll take you in." *** "So you are saying that this bastard was able to siphon souls through one soul stone into another?" "Yep." "And then he'd use them to power monsters he created?" "As I can tell, yes." "And you agreed to take him into custody?" "You could say that." I said, taking a soul stone from my pocket and setting in on the desk. Kreg looked at it, then back to me. "Not changing your reputation a bit, are you?" "I felt the sentence just, considering his crimes. So," I sat back, folding my arms, "about my reward then." Kreg pulled out a file from under his desk. "Under my authority given to me by the Guild, you may now act as a free agent, to choose you assignments and to judge as you see fit." "Excellent." I said, picking up the papers and getting ready to leave. "That was seriously your goal the entire time?" I gave a grim smile in return. "Justice is blind. I plan on going where she won't look." Word count: 1499 Items: The Decent, Iceman (in passing and terrible pun), Underwear (also brief XD )