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Mike Wallace

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Mike Wallace last won the day on June 16

Mike Wallace had the most liked content!

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About Mike Wallace

  • Rank
    Minion
  • Birthday July 20

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Alberta, Canada
  • Interests
    Fiction, Games, Necromancy, Writing.

Recent Profile Visitors

858 profile views
  1. Mike Wallace

    Monday Preview - Hucksters

    Just between you, me and the mature audiences only, that snakeoil salesgirl is fiiiine.
  2. Mike Wallace

    Welcoming Our Newest Game Designer!

    Wait a minute, what did he do before? Office Mascot?
  3. Mike Wallace

    Monday Preview - Mystery Monkey Mischief

    But why an orangutan? They're the "Dude" Lebowski of the Great Ape Kingdom! You monsters!
  4. Mike Wallace

    Monday Preview - Mysterious Gentlemen

    The executives behind Malifaux's fastest-growing fast-food chain, Mortimer's Meat Farm! Come taste the cadver-iffic flavor of our new Cryptburger! Mm, you can really taste that Two-Hour Law Freshness! A Job's a Job, always at Mortimer's! Warning Mortimer's Meat Farm is not Guild-approved nor fit for human consumption. If swallowed consult a mortician. Side-effects include choking, indigestion, paralysis of the loins, the condition known as Hot Dog Fingers, seeing the dead, sudden tail growth, spontaneous combustion, leaky orifices, Neverborn worship, tetanus, kuru, dyslexia, aphasia, constipation, uncontrollable laughter, toenail fungus and tongue warts. Offer limited while supplies last. Not applicable to Gremlins, the French, Alaska or Hawaii. Our lawyers made us say this. Don't laugh at my bald spot.
  5. Mike Wallace

    Friday Preview - Stalking Portals

    Just remember to not put your Stalking Portals into a Bashful Suitcase. They will explode and file a restraining order.
  6. Mike Wallace

    How would you like your Chronicles?

    I wonder if they'd consider doing both; a Blog to post whatever whenever, and every two months they compile the articles (or just the best ones) into a .pdf?
  7. Mike Wallace

    How would you like your Chronicles?

    Which would make your job easier, Kyle?
  8. Mike Wallace

    Carry on My Ten Thunders Son

    I've got that stupid song stuck in my head now. What? Who's leaving? Lindsey? She left months ago. Yeah, I miss her too. Don't you cry no more... DANGIT.
  9. Mike Wallace

    Alt Lazarus Arrives!

    Dude, that McMourning model. Sinister.
  10. Mike Wallace

    Monday Preview - A Mysterious Surprise

    Aaron's weekend trip to Gatorworld photos!
  11. Mike Wallace

    Monday Preview - The Obsidian Gate

    "Wait'll they get a load oni." /Joker laugh
  12. Mike Wallace

    Friday Preview - Egg Clutch

    You've got egg on your face now.
  13. Mike Wallace

    March Newsletter

    Bob Moss. His name is Bob Moss. And he paints happy little pigs and "happy accident" explosions. And he is so calm. And then he beat the Neverborn out of it.
  14. Mike Wallace

    TTB Worldwide Campaign

    You will wake from a nightmare, sitting bolt upright in bed and screaming into the cold, dark air. You will not remember the dream, or why it make you scream, but the realized fear will linger, longing for an unrealized memory. If you sleep next to a loved one, they will question you, gently. You will not be able to articulate it with words. They will insist it was nothing, that you should return to sleep. They will think otherwise. You will not realize this, and assume you are alone in your confusion and fear for a future undetermined. The face from the closet will grin, quietly rolling a fat gold coin over its spidery fingers. A coin you would recognize. A coin from your dream. A coin the smiling face offered to you. "Heads, or tails?" It asked, in a voice that was not human, not reptilian, not in your ears but in your mind. "Why?" Your dream-self asked. It did not know the stakes, though you were aware there were stakes. And they were high, indeed. The smiling face flipped the coin. End over end it turned in the air, glinting in pitch dark light. "Call it." In a panic you respond, "Tails, no heads!" Too late. The coin had already landed on heads and you had merely called what you had seen. The grinning face plucked up the coin. "Too bad," it said. "But you didn't really need this, did you?" You scream, silent in your dream but audible in the waking world, as he reached into your chest and pulled- Absently you rub your chest, unable to know why. The grinning man is no longer in the closet, but you did not know this. You attempt to withdraw, seeking the solitude and comfort of unconsciousness, even as you are vaguely aware that dreams are not a safe place. When the sun rises, you check the Wyrd forums. Someone is responding to your question about when you will know if you get to participate. He does not answer your question. You rub your chest. The grinning face hits SEND
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