The Zinc Lich

Well, you mention the Diablo 3 Witch Doctor, which automatically makes me think of Resserectionists. After all, they are the faction best known for poison attacks and summoning. In fact, along with undead, those are the top three things that I would use to describe the faction. Your WarmaHordes picks are typically melee focused, so you probably won't miss having guns. That being said, you also identify the GW Dark Elves, and I wouldn't say that most Resser crews will impress you with their speed. My recommendation for you, then, is Kirai. First and foremost, she has Malevolence, which allows her to summon Ikiryo in combat with anyone who attacks her or things near by her. I'm glad that you mentioned the Daemonslayer, because that is exactly what Ikiryo is: a totally disposable face-mauling machine. Kirai's crew is mostly composed of incorporeal spirits, which make better speed than most Resser models due to being able to walk through buildings like they weren't there. Kirai and her box henchman, Datsue-ba, also help accelerate her crew around.

Alright, I know that you have a lot of other stuff going on in the reasons why you like Tales of Vesperia, but I can't see anyone talk about a blade-wielding dog without recommending them McCabe. Giving your trusty dog Luna a glowing sword and sending her off to disembowel your enemies is not only a great image, it's actually a pretty good trick. McCabe also has the whole "friend or foe" duel faction thing going on, as well. I'm not sure that I would say that Leveticus requires a lot of thought, really. I mean, he takes some getting used to, but once you get the trick, you just kind of point him at an enemy model and enjoy the fireworks. If you are looking for a defensive buffing hit stick, I think you should try out Von Schill and the Freikorps. Between the healing power of the Librarian, The Shirt Comes Off, and the Steam Trunk, not to mention all the Hard to Kill floating around, you certainly have resilience down. His offensive output isn't what you would call explosive, but it isn't like its bad; there's nothing wrong with a gun with min damage 3 that ignores Hard to Wound. I've been looking forward to this for a while now. What do you recommend to the person who has everything? Alright, so you like playing masters that require a little bit of finesse, have a high offensive output, and you like breaking the meta and beating people up with models people generally think are bad. Suicide black and a preference for the Hive in Alpha Centauri leads me towards the Gremlin faction, and since you already have Som'er and Ophelia, my official recommendation is for you to try out Ulix. Dealing with the idiosyncrasies of the pig subfaction certainly requires a fair bit of finesse, but when you do everything right, he has the ability to totally flatten anything that gets in his way. You also get to put a bunch of stuff on the table that you don't see with other Gremlin-faction crews. Who else gets as much mileage out of piglets? Not to mention everyone who follows your blog will get to see what conversions you get up to!

We're gearing up for the holiday season, so let's see if I can get through some of this backlog. Just in case you folks need another gift idea! Alright, what do you get a person who likes efficiency and flexibility, enjoys playing sims, and hates shuffling cards? Charlie Hoffman! Unlike most masters out there, he provides buffs to his crew in the form of increased stats. Instead of flipping more cards, you succeed more easily with the cards you have. Playing Hoffman is all about keeping your construct train on the rails; positioning each piece to make the best use of his buffs and sharing those buffs out to the minions that will get the best use out of them. Have you thought about all the fun you could have with your own cadre of ninja assassins? When it comes to elite models striking from strange angles and disappearing before the enemy can react, you don't get much better than the Last Blossoms. Not only that, but Misaki is, in fact a noble (gentlelady?) thief, able to abscond with the enemy's soulstones, and with the Ten Thunder's Misdirection upgrade, you can jump into the middle of the enemy crew and do your best Wobuffet impression, slapping people to death with their own attacks. Mono black control, eh? Well, you say several times that you like having cheap, plentiful minions; Warlocks and Necromancers are both pet classes, you use a lot of 1/1s in magic, and you play Zerg, who embody the "victory in numbers" strategy. I think that you should take a serious look at Collodi, to be honest. While he doesn't, strictly speaking, fit the profile of a summoning specialist, he certainly isn't ever going to be without minions. The big reason I recommend him is something that isn't very apparent to people who haven't played against him before: he is an enormously controlling master. His attack action is accurate, surprisingly damaging, and hands out slow *everywhere*. Not only does he ensure that his crew has consistent, cheap activations, but he makes the opponent's important activations less effective. Leverage those 1/1s! While it might not be ninja rats, Collodi is certainly able to support Swampfiend Minions, and Swampfiend minions mean surprise swamp golems!

Subjugation, brainwashing, and heavy firepower? Sounds to me like you want to play the Guild. I'm personally going to recommend you try out Sonnia Criid. While she might not be the most agile combatant, she is full of treachery and manipulation, along with carrying arguably the most powerful weapon in the game. Flame Burst is the most accurate attack in the game, and its able to stretch blast markers out almost six inches on a severe hit, plus she can shoot through walls. The Witchlings, her signature minions, are former mages who have had their bodies and minds blown apart and reassembled to serve Guild interests. She also powers her spells with a chthonic fire god that lives in her head. That might also be a plus for you, seeing as you like The Void and also have the Hungering Darkness as your avatar.

The master that I am going to recommend for you is Leveticus, in the Outcast faction. First and foremost, if you want to be a competitive player, Leveticus is pretty much the best master in the game. He has an enormous hiring pool, able to hire any undead or construct model in the game, and he's no slouch at getting stuff done himself. His big trick is dying and resurrecting himself every round, which can be a little bit hard to wrap your head around. In effect, though, he plays a lot like a Vanguard does; he pops up on the board somewhere, melts someones face, then disappears before the enemy has an opportunity to respond. Because his damage output is so high, his board position is so unpredictable, and he's such a slippery jerk, he fits both the caster and rogue archetypes. The Outcast faction also gives you access to a crew of rag-tag adventurer types. I know I originally became interested in them because your crews sort of end up feeling like the Normandy crew; all sorts of characters, united to complete a mission.

So, let's take a look at your magic deck choices. If all of your decks are some combination of Blue, Red, and Black, that means that you have very little interest in White or Green. What do those two colours have in common? Well, they traditionally focus on highly efficient creatures, with very little offensive casting or direct control. This is also supported by your love of EWar in EVE. Win the game by controlling the field. You play a lot of Tanks, which focus on A: not dying, followed by B: irritating the opposition into attacking them, allowing them to leverage A. So, who is a master that brings strong Ca actions and survival tools to the table. As weird as it sounds, I think that I'm going to suggest Pandora for you. While she doesn't like taking punches to the face, she is slippery to get a hold of, and she provides so much control that it limits how much can actually get to her. I have played a lot of games against Pandora, and let me tell you, actually killing her is an achievement. You like controlling the enemy and dictating the rules of engagement? She does that. She provides explosive spike damage like Izzet decks, and she also stalls and grinds down enemies like Dimir. You even have the Druid/Circle dark forest magic thing going on.

So, like all the Outcast players out there, I spent a lot of time marveling over Aionus this week. When I really got down to thinking about when I would hire him into a crew, however, my mind kept drifting over to the Guild side of things. What is everyone else's opinion on him? 13 stones is a pretty huge chunk to spend on a model, but it is a much smaller jump to go from 12 to 13 than it is to go from 6 to 7, and I certainly think he's worth 12. Unlike the Outcasts (outside of Tara, I suppose), we have a lot of really good, affordable sources of Slow. Clockwork Traps, the Guild Pathfinder, Sidir's gun, and and anything with a chain harpoon are things that make it into lists even when you aren't really trying to take advantage of the slow condition. We're the only faction besides the Outcasts that has offensive burying mechanics not tied to a particular master. He brings Ca attacks that the Guild frequently lacks, as well as an out for armor. He can move markers for Smoke, forests, and walls, which have always been crippling for a faction that relies on guns to get work done. He even drops enemy scheme markers to give you control over where you have to move with the Sleuth upgrade, which is huge considering people were taking it just for the +2 on initiative flips. I'm pretty pumped, myself.

Don't play Anna with Hamelin if you want to keep your friends. 6 inches of no charge, no place, no push is absolutely crippling against crews that didn't bring guns to the table, plus between Hamelin's Obey and Anna's Vortex, it isn't like the stuff that does make it into the bubble is going to be able to stay there very long.

Mah Tuckett says hello Sorry this is the big league :p. I don't even think Mah is considered a heavy hitter amongst the Gremlin faction (I would say Som'er and possible Wong can both out damage her). I always thought Ophelia was the premier damage dealer in the faction.

Well, unfortunately, Malifaux isn't going to be able to help you out with jetbikes; its just not a vehicle kind of game. That being said, I might just have something up your alley. If you are a big fan of explosive luck streaks, the faction you are looking for is Gremlins, and no gremlin is as randomly amazing as Wong. The sheer amount of cards he can flip on a good Lightning Toss is incredible. As a faction, Gremlins are blazing fast and, while they don't typically summon like a WHF undead army, they can win games in the same sort of attrition heavy, flood-them-with-bodies style. Although Gremlins have a lot of ways to mitigate some of the more random elements of their faction, there's nothing saying you have to take them. You can double down on Dumb Luck and Bayou Two card and trust the law of averages to deliver powerful, if unpredictable swings. You should also take a look at the Rooster Rider. They share a lot in common with jet bikes, like the fact that they are blazing stupid fast and they tend to die if the enemy gets to pick their engagements. They also have the aforementioned Bayou Two Card and a pretty hot trigger on a that nets them free charges. Rooster Riders are one of those models that will sometimes win games all on their own, and sometimes utterly fail in a hilarious manner.

If you want elite, aggressive generalists, the faction you want to look into is Ten Thunders. As a faction, they occupy a sort of strange niche; their "original" lineup from Mk 1 was entirely dual faction, made up of a mish-mash of specialized pieces from every other faction. Because of this, the single-faction pieces introduced in Mk. 2 have been generalists meant to round some of the hard edges. Katanaka snipers have some of the best guns you can bring, and they are just as deadly in melee as at range, Torakage are perfect scheme runners who also have rapid fire on their shuriken and surprising melee output thanks to Works Best Alone. Samurai bring big guns, heavy armor, and a counter to enemy armor in melee. If you are looking for Red and Green in a master, I think you should take a look at Misaki. She has one of the best stat lines in the game, she can murder the heck out of pretty much whatever she wants, and she certainly brings elite melee power to the table.

Just in time for the holiday season, I'm back! Don't know what box to buy for that Malifaux player on your list? Post here and see! Without further ado: All three of the characters you mention have suffered at the hands of a totalitarian, capitalist regime, which tells me you are looking for Arcanists. Fight the power! All of your favorite moments are those spent trying to avoid combat, so I'd say you should try out Collette. Not only does she have an extremely broad hiring pool thanks to Prompt being good on literally everything, she's probably the most relatable master in the faction. She's sacrificed a lot up to carve out a place for herself in the city for herself and her girls, and it's not a place she'll give up without a fight. Well, you pick skulduggery and stealth at every turn, which says Neverborn to me. If I were you, I would pick up Lillith. She controls the opponent's perceptions like Emma Frost or Mesmers with illusionary forests, and brings supportive skills like Tali'zorah and the Agent with Wicked Vines and Tangle Shadows. More importantly, the Nephilim and the Mimics both bring that broken mirror duality with them while supporting Haqq's playstyle of light infantry supported by infiltration and support specialists. Character wise, Lillith is very similar to Sylvanis; a queen seeking vengeance for her people against those who seek to exploit them.

Honestly, I sort of wrote off the Flame when I first started playing Sonnia. Double Flame Wall is just too powerful to ignore. That being said, I've really grown to like the little bugger. Its the only way in faction to get burning on a model without damaging it; there have been more than a few flaming Orderlies running the board recently, picking targets out for Sonnia to blast. The incorporeal is also really nice in a faction that doesn't have a lot of terrain mitigation; running through walls and engaging stuff you don't want to get close to your crew is brilliant, and Dampening can really spoil a master's day. Getting the Flame in the right position can mean some pretty clutch turn two or even one assassinations, and I've yet to see someone win a game when they lose their master first turn.

I find it kind of funny that so many people are just naming off their favorite masters. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you are going to be limited to one master for a year, you should play what you like, but I think that after you play 15-20 games in a row with Ironsides, things are going to get a little bit... same-ey. I think that the "correct" answer to the question is one of the masters with extremely wide hiring choices, like Leveticus, Zoraida, or Marcus. That being said, I think that I would end up picking Jack Daw, believe it or not. With the release of the Crossroads Seven, he has a pile of unique, characterful, and powerful models to hire from, in addition to all the stuff the Outcasts have access to by default. The bigger reason I'd pick him, though, is because he has so much going on between all the pushes, obeys, and curses, that whenever I play him, I never feel like I'm getting the most out of him. Maybe after the better part of 100 games, I'd be a little more confident.

And now, some less happy news. After the latest round of conflict over at the Soapbox thread on General discussion, I am going to be taking a hiatus from the gaming community for a while. I originally came to Malifaux to escape the problematic behavior that I keep tripping over in the hobby elsewhere, and the knowledge that, to quote, "there are jerks everywhere" is just too much for me to deal with right now. I'm going to get some distance and see if the love comes back. For everyone who has been following the thread so far, thanks for a wild ride. I really wasn't expecting this to spin off to 6+ pages of stuff, and doing these judgement for people has given me a new appreciation of how and why we enjoy gaming, and it has given me a lot of new incites in to Malifaux, as well. If you still want your personalty quizzed and your fortune told, feel free to leave a post for me to pick up when I get back. I will also be tallying up votes for my own next crew, for anyone who wants to try their own hand at extrapolating a crew. To all those people whose Malifaux fortunes I've told: let me know if you pick up those crews! A fortune teller is only as good as the accuracy of their prognostication.